


Technical Error [The Original]

by ElmiDol



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars The Force Awakens
Genre: Angst, F/M, Incomplete, Kylo Ren is an asshole, Old version, somewhat unhealthy relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-16 02:14:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 64,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19635223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElmiDol/pseuds/ElmiDol
Summary: Uploading due to request.The original version of Technical Error that was previously deleted when I took a break from Ao3.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CodysFern](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CodysFern/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Technical Error](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10561516) by [ElmiDol](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElmiDol/pseuds/ElmiDol). 



Observational Skills: Nil

You were a technician in the First Order, which meant that a number of the Stormtroopers found pleasure in kicking away your tools when you were not looking. The offices generally ignored you unless they were in need of your assistance. The latter did not bother you in the least, as it allowed you to finish your tasks without interruptions. The former, on the other hand, would cause you to scowl. You dared not say anything in response; you had heard of many a technician who got mouthy with the ‘troopers and the resulting visits to medbay. During cafeteria hours, a few of the lower-ranking officers would engage technicians in small talk. The Stormtroopers, if they were especially bored, partook in the idle chitchat.

In hindsight, you supposed that you should have been more attentive to what had been said during the course of lunch. You were normally more alert and aware of your surroundings, yet it had been a particularly busy morning after several maintenance droids malfunctions and at least ten calcinators needed to be rewired. Following your afternoon meal you were to report to a different sector aboard the _Finalizer_. It had recently been remodeled after several minor explosions—the causes of which you were still uncertain—had demolished a number of the closets and the two refreshers. Had you paid attention to the chatter in the cafeteria, you would have been made aware that the refreshers had been switched; the male washroom was now on the left, whereas that had been the location of the female bathroom previously.

With your toolbag in hand and a full bladder threatening to give way with every step, you rushed into the refresher without glancing up from the floor. You could hear someone urinating, could see a flash of black—how strange, you passively thought without pausing in your steps—and about threw yourself into the nearest stall. You slammed the door, hit the lock, and dropped your bag to the floor before quickly shoving down your pants and sitting on the toilet.

“Fuck, man,” you whispered under your breath as you began to relieve yourself. You had nearly not made it in time. As you released a deep breath, your eyes caught the movement of boots underneath the door of your stall. You knit your brow, leaning to the side on the toilet so that you could peer through the crack.

Suddenly you wished you hadn’t. A shift of those black boots, which were thankfully a few feet away, and a rustle of clothing indicated that the person had since finished urinating. A zipper being draw up in a single, sharp movement. You gulped as the toes of those boots turned in your direction. The material of the pants, from what you could see through the crack between the door and its frame, was also black. Black-gray robes. Gloved hands. Facing a Stormtrooper or an officer of any rank would have been preferable to this.

Of all the times for you to accidentally walk into the wrong bathroom, you had done so while Kylo Ren was using the facilities.

_He needs to wash his hands…gloves…_ was your candid thought despite the terror that was beginning to flow through you.

Another part of your brain told you to move, and yet your bladder had not been fully emptied. Commander Ren was not moving from his place, and you half-wondered if he was watching you through the crack. _What a pervert!_ your mind supplied on the off-chance that he was, indeed, observing you pee. You shook your head, willing away such thoughts and insults in case he was also delving into your mind. You had heard that he could read people’s thoughts, and you would rather not be killed for words unspoken.

At last finished, you reached to the side for the toilet paper—and found none. Your head whipped in the direction in which your hand was blindly grabbing at air. A low groan caught in your throat. This was just your luck, you decided. You _would_ manage to not only enter the wrong refresher, but also go into the stall lacking toilet paper. Your eyes darted briefly back to the Commander’s boots. Not a single shift. With a quietly released deep breath, you leaned to the side, hooking your wrist and hand up under towards the other stall. As you had expected, the toilet paper was not on the side you could reach.

Had it been an officer inside the refresher with you, you would have asked for him to grab you some toilet paper, and most likely would have received some teasing while your request was fulfilled. A Stormtrooper may have attempted to sneak a peek, though he would have more than likely also obliged. With Kylo Ren, on the other hand, you found that your voice had disappeared entirely. Mortified with the knowledge that he undoubtedly knew the state you were currently in, you felt your cheeks heat up whilst withdrawing your hand back into your stall.

You continued to sit there quietly, thinking, _Well, he has to leave eventually, right?_ But, of course, you remembered that he didn’t _have_ to do anything, and there was no one present to tell him otherwise.

With nothing better to do as you wallowed in misery and embarrassment, you decided to distract yourself from your mortification by drumming on your knees. The rhythm wasn’t any particular song, and the nonexistent pattern was soon interrupted by you stilling your hands as Ren took a step closer to your stall. You gulped down some saliva, bent practically in half, and began to rummage through your bag in case you had a single split-second to defend yourself before being killed or otherwise harmed by the man.

Not that he had any reason to harm you.

_Bitch, he don’t need no reason!_ your mind screamed at you, and you winced at the truth. _And technically you did do something wrong, you stupid idiot; you went into the wrong refresher. While he was peeing!_ A pause in your thoughts. Your mind wandering back to the moment you entered. _I don’t think I saw his dick…_

Blinking your eyes as your fingers wrapped around a wrench. _But what if I did?_ Your attention drifted from one of his gloved hands to the other as they dangled at his sides. Which had he used to hold himself while he urinated, you wondered. _It’s so unhygienic if he doesn’t wash… Fuck, man, I’m gonna die, and why the hell am I worrying about whether or not he’s washed his hands/gloves?_

Several more seconds of silence and then you both heard and saw those black boots moving towards the sinks. Water running. The air-dryer going. You chewed on your bottom lip, looking through the crack on the opposite side of the door. You could see his cowl his pulled up over his helmet, which suddenly turned in your direction. The wrench fell out of your hand and onto the ground with a metallic clatter. You failed to bite back a whimper, which caused Kylo to tilt his head to the side and pause. His hands clenched and unclenched a single time at his sides. The Commander directed his attention to the stall that was beside yours. In a few purposeful strides he entered the stall. You warily watched his feet underneath the stall you were inside of.

The muscles in your thighs tensed, and you wrinkled your nose at the memory that you still had not wiped. You could hear the sound of metal being pried apart, and this prompted you to squeeze your eyes closed. Only to reopen them a split second later when something soft nudged your leg. You looked at the gloved hand and black-clad arm that were coming from the other stall. In the hand was a roll of toilet paper, which hit more roughly against your leg as a static-filled sigh of impatience escaped the man that was offering assistance. You shyly reached for the toilet paper, which was relinquished into your hold. As you watched the arm and hand disappear back underneath the stall and heard Kylo Ren rising back to his full height, you quickly took care of yourself, set the toilet paper on the holder in your stall, and replaced your wrench into your bag.

Commander Ren had since exited the stall, however remained inside the refresher. Cringing, you became distinctly aware that he would not allow you to leave without you having to face him first. You rose unsteadily, fixing your pants and slinging your bag over your shoulder. Your gaze glued to the ground, you unlatched the lock and shuffled over to the sink where you washed your hands. You dared not peek up at the mirror. You already felt his eyes on your through the visor of his helmet. Sniffling, you slowly turned after drying your hands and kept your attention on the ground as you allowed the man to observe you.

“Transgender?”

Your head snapped up at the question, of which the inquisitiveness was not lost despite the filter of the vocoder. You shook your head, not quite sure if he was asking if you were a female transitioning to become male, or vice-versa. That he would ask at all, however, struck you as something quite different; there was an uncaring attitude, as though he did not care what gender you held.

“I see. The female refresher is now on the right.” He half-turned then paused, looking your way again. “Intersex?”

“N-no, sir,” you uttered.

Kylo Ren nodded, as though to himself, and at last exited the refresher. Your mouth opened and closed three times without a single sound escaping you. Then, remembering your current location and dreading the chance that another male would enter to use the facilities, you quickly went through the door the Commander had used only a few seconds before. By the time you were in the corridor, you found that the darkly clad man was already halfway to the next intersection. You stared at his back, wondering if he would have handed anyone toilet paper, or if his curiosity had simply gotten the better of him and inspired the simple act of kindness.

Not wanting to be caught by a superior slacking off, you pushed away the many thoughts flowing through your mind and headed in the direction of the console you were to work on. It had been malfunctioning off and on, and the officer assigned to the console had at last reported the errors to his superior. She had then handed the job of repairing it over to you. You were known to be efficient in your work, as well as speedy without allowing for any sort of sloppiness. Boy would people change that view if they knew what you had just done.


	2. Chapter 2

Self-Induced Asthma: Check

It had been three days since your miserable encounter with Kylo Ren wherein you had entered the incorrect refresher. Since then you had ensured to check and double-check which bathroom you were entering prior to doing so. Thus you had experienced no mishaps. You had also since been assigned a companion droid, which was roughly the size of your shin. You had dubbed it _Squeakers_ on account of the fact that it was an old thing that, on occasion, released a low squeaking noise. Even after repairing and replacing an assortment of parts, you had been unable to fix the issue.

Squeakers trailed along behind you as you walked the corridors of the _Finalizer_. You had finished the majority of your work already. With only one more task left to complete, you were in good spirits. Stormtroopers were being nicer these days, although you suspected this had much to do with the way Kylo Ren had been acting. Actually, your mind supplied, he had not been _acting_ any differently. It was merely suspected that he had a cold, given the fact that he had been heard coughing once or twice. A wheeze-like noise had also filtered through his vocoder on more than one occasion. At least, that was what you had heard from the mini-conversations around you. Too preoccupied were the ‘troopers with such talk that they were leaving many of the technicians alone.

So, you thought: Kylo Ren having a cold equaled you not having your tools kicked out of the way.

Maybe it was horrible, and perhaps you should not have felt as such, but… You really hoped the cold stuck for a while. Your productivity level had increased, and already more than one superior had praised you. In fact, that was why you had been given the droid, who suddenly emitted one of the noises of its namesake. You looked over your shoulder at the droid, who then beeped happily at you. At least, you imagined it would be happy if droids were capable of emotions.

“Come on, Squeakers, we should hurry.” You were ready to call it a night. One more task, you reminded yourself. Just one more. The droid chirped at you once more, speeding up a little and nearly running into your foot. You lifted said limb to avoid being tripped and shook your head at the enthusiasm it displayed. If only you didn’t require caffeine to keep going. Squeakers was ever-ready to go. Granted, a new core had been installed in it so there was that. Extra power. Boy did you need some of that.

Within fifteen minutes you were on your back, working underneath a console on some minor repairs. Squeakers was rolling around, occasionally coming over and beeping out diagnostics. You listened, adjusted your position, and began working on the portion the droid had mentioned. You hummed to yourself, and Squeakers joined in with some beeps that were in time with the tune you were attempting to carry.

As you finished the final adjustments on the console, you felt yourself drawing closer to the thing. Which caused your to knit your brow at the sudden weightlessness. At the sudden impact of your forehead hitting the metal.

_Crap!_

You realized the anti-gravity was malfunctioning. Your body slammed back to the ground, causing you to release a hiss of pain. You quickly gathered up all your tools into your bag, namely the ones that had managed to make their way out when there had been nothing to hold them to the floor. You zipped up your bag, slung it over your shoulder, and made your way into the corridor. Squeakers followed after you, beeping complaints regarding being dropped as it had been.

“I know, I know,” you called back to it. “I didn’t like it either.”

Just as you were rounding a corner, you found your feet kicking in the air. Your droid released an indignant beep that sounded an awful lot like a swear. Bootsteps were the only thing that kept you from reprimanding it for its language. You knit your brow, finding that Kylo Ren, when he appeared, was still very much on the floor. His steps were not the usual sure strides he normally executed. You realized almost immediately that he was using the Force to keep himself on the ground. Noticing you, the man paused. Commander Ren ignored your droid, however raised a hand in your direction. You felt a strong pressure tugging you back to the floor of the _Finalizer_.

“Come.”

That single, sharp command had you scurrying along to follow him. You waved farewell to your droid, mentally making a promise to return for it. Squeakers chirped miserably then fell silent. The pressure keeping your feet on the ground was more than the gravity you normally experienced. Thus you moved more slowly than you cared to. Commander Ren did not do or say anything to indicate he was displeased by your slow progression. He merely led you to the area devoted to housing the anti-gravity machine. Your tool bag fell flat against your side, indicating that the machine was working again, albeit temporarily. You winced at the impact of your tools hitting your side, however ignored the pain in favor of tugging out what you needed to fix the error.

Even when everything else around you was floating in the air, Kylo Ren kept you grounded so that you could complete your task. In a small way, you found what was occurring to be rather exciting. You had never dealt with such an error before, though you did know how to remedy it due to your training. Partway into your work, you heard what sounded to be like static coming from the Knight. Your eyes darted towards the masked face while your hands remained busy with their task. You returned your gaze to the machine when the noise was not repeated. Then, a few seconds later, a sort of strangled, muffled cough. You had nearly forgotten about the rumors. They seemed to ring true.

You wondered what he would do once he was feeling better. Technically he should not be wearing a helmet. He was trapping the bacteria within a confined space right next to his orifices. That was so unhygienic, you thought whilst making another adjustment. Your tools slammed back onto the ground, one nearly impaling your thigh. You were thankful that Kylo Ren had seen it fit to flex his wrist and send the tool scittering away. You blew air through your lips and thanked your lucky stars that no injury was incurred.

When the machine was fixed and once more fully functional, the Commander left without a word to you. You didn’t mind this in the least. You put away your tools, went searching for Squeakers, and then retired to your quarters with your droid in tow.

It was a week later that you next caught sight of the darkly clad man. You were called to repair some training droids that had met with unfortunate accidents. You doubted it had been an accident at all that they had been cut through by the man’s lightsaber. Without complaint—from you, at least, as Squeakers had much to say/beep about—you started to repair the mangled machines. Kylo Ren was sitting quietly in the middle of the room. Meditating, you figured. He said nothing, and you kept that silence.

Still, curiosity flowed through you as you performed your duties. You wondered if the man ever got sweaty during his training. Because, your mind reasoned, that would mean his armor needed to be cleaned. Did he even have other armor? And if not then how often was he cleaning the suit he wore? That could be very well the reason he had been coughing the other day.

As if on cue, one of those muffled sounds filtered into your ears. If anyone asked you—and no one did—you would say he sounded like he had a smoker’s cough developing. It was deeper than last week. Maybe bronchitis? Whatever it was, it wasn’t as though it were any of _your_ business.

Except that he was muffling another cough, and you were hoping that _you_ didn’t catch any diseases from this man. Sure, he had washed his hands that day in the refresher. But if he kept on the same old armor without ever washing it? Yeah, he was a disease-on-legs. Moreso than most people. You found yourself shifting your body so that your back was to him. That ought to help a little, right?

A tapping noise had you looking over your shoulder. Kylo Ren was messing with the mouthpiece of his mask. What looked like soot fell from the helmet. He reached up, unclasped the helmet without taking it off, and brushed his hand underneath it. More soot fell. A slightly muffled cough, which sounded a little different as it was only halfway filtered by the vocoder. You tried to look busy, tried to make it seem like you weren’t watching him as he shook his head and caused another tiny cloud to fall onto his lap. The man inspected his dirtied robes. He clicked his helmet back into place, and you could have sworn that you heard him swearing as he stood. Kylo Ren left the training area, left you alone with your task of repairing the droids he had damaged.

It was when you turned back to said mangled forms that you recalled hearing that Kylo Ren had a collection of his enemies’ ashes. Blinking, you summoned up the memory of what you had just seen. Soot. His enemies’ ashes falling from his helmet. Did he snort them? Because, surely, he couldn’t have been careless enough to set his helmet in a pile of ashes, right?

Squeakers beeped at you, indicating that your production rate had just dropped. Scowling, you picked up your tools and began to tinker with the droid in your lap.

“At least that isn’t anything contagious,” you said to yourself. _You_ weren’t about to put ashes in line with your mouth and nose so that you were inhaling them all day. Stars knew what _that_ would do to your lungs.


	3. Chapter 3

Your Plumbing: Needs Repairs

You did not normally find yourself in the presence of the general. Passing him by in the hallways? Sure, that occurred every now and again. It was bound to happen as, though the Star Destroyer was a rather sizable vessel, there were only so many areas onboard. For him to have his focus on you, however, that was a treat. Or a slow death. It truly depended on the circumstances. Presently it appeared that you finding yourself in the presence of General Hux could be regarded as a pleasant experience. The man, having read over the reports of how you had fixed the malfunctioning anti-gravity machine, and he now wanted to hear a first-hand account from you.

“You seem quite adept at your job,” he remarked, and you were not certain whether he was praising or simply assessing you. Perhaps he had believed you were a failure, and you should thus be insulted by his words. As it was, however, you gave a half-nod while continuing to remain standing still with your arms at your sides. Squeakers was close to your side, though the droid was anything but professional. It beeped randomly. You had to fight off the urge to tell it to shut up. General Hux’s attention switched to Squeakers, and the droid at last fell silent. No doubt it sensed that the redhead would have it destroyed without a second thought. Now that the droid was no longer making noises, your superior once more looked your way. “I am assigning the task of routine maintenance on the machine to you.”

It was an honor, which caused your heart to stutter in your chest. To be in charge of such an important part of the ship! Wow. You swallowed then managed to say, “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

After he dismissed you, you slowly walked off the bridge. Squeakers followed behind you, the droid still very quiet. It was when you were out of earshot of the general that your companion released a solemn beep. You eyed the droid, your lips set in a deep frown. “Well, that was _your_ fault if you were almost destroyed,” you countered. Squeakers released a noise of indignation. You chose to ignore this and headed towards where your supervisor was waiting to hand out assignments for the day.

You had the honor of repairing one of the dryers in the refresher belonging to the superior officers. This refresher was the one that housed the showers. It was just your luck, you thought. Here you had been praised by the general himself and given an assignment of great importance…and you were stuck with shower duty. You scowled, deciding that you would take care of some of the lesser assignments first. After all, the majority of officers, ‘troopers and technicians that you knew showered at the beginning of each cycle rather than the end.

What you had failed to take into consideration was that certain people worked a different shift. You sighed when you heard the water running in one of the shower stalls. You had just this one final task then you could slip into bed and sleep. Due to the moister that clung in the air from hot showers, and because you did not want to listen to its beeping echoing off the walls, you had not brought Squeakers with you. You set your tool bag down beside the dryer you were to repair. You had horrible luck, you decided; the dryer was directly across from the occupied stall.

Just as you were beginning to rummage through your bag for the correct tool, you heard the water shut off. You blinked, glanced over your shoulder then turned back to—your head whipped back in the direction of the opened curtain. General Hux paused, his hand halfway to the towel that was hanging on the rack. Your eyes darted up and down his body, your cheeks heating up.

Sure, you had seen your share of naked men. Mostly in your studies. But this… Your eyebrows rose and your eyes widened. “Wow.”

General Hux seized the towel and wrapped it around his waist, successfully blocking your view from the portion of his anatomy that had so caught your attention. “Back to work, technician,” he said levelly. Not cruelly in the least. Slight amusement, maybe, given the way he was smirking at you.

“Yes, big.” You froze as the man paused. “Sir! I meant… I mean… Yes, sir.”

_Fuck, man, just kill me now!_

“Technician…”

“Y-yes, sir?”

“Please see to it that you refrain from commenting on my cock.”

“Yes, sir.” He headed to one of the other dryers. You tried to keep your attention on your assignment, yet when the dryer started your eyes darted back to the redhead. General Hux kept his towel on as he used the dryer on the rest of his body. He turned so as to get his back, and his eyes locked with yours. You whipped your attention away, your cheeks impossibly hot. You started to work on the broken dryer.

Finished with the task of drying himself, the redhead walked into one of the dressing stalls. He had no doubt stored his clothes there previously. You were nearly finished with your assignment when the man emerged, fully clothed. You blinked after looking at him. Did he _ever_ sleep? Sure, you knew the saying that he was a workaholic, but still. Perhaps he took catnaps, you assured yourself.

General Hux walked to your side as you were rising to your feet. The dryer was in good working order. When the man cleared his throat, you turned away from your accomplishment and faced him. “The schedule for the routine maintenance of the—eyes up _here_!” You jerked your eyes up from his crotch, flinching and muttering out a weak apology. “Now—very well, get it out of your system.”

“I’m sorry, sir!” you said, resisting the almost necessity to bury your face into your hands. “I just… I didn’t realize…that, uhm…er… _plumbing_ could be so—“

“Did you just…did you just refer to a cock as plumbing?” Your blush deepened. General Hux did something you found unnerved you more than anything. He chuckled. His normally straight face faltered, giving way to such an amused smirk that you did not know how to react. The redhead cleared his throat. “The schedule will be sent your way.” Then, chuckling once more before resuming his stoicism, the man strode out of the refresher.

You packed away your tools back into the bag, which you then slung over your shoulder. It was quite a way to end your day, you thought. Now you had seen Kylo Ren urinating and General Hux fresh out of the shower. All that was left was to observe Captain Phasma in any sort of state of undress and you would complete your collection.

The following day had you finding no better luck in your line of work. You grit your teeth while walking behind General Hux, who was taking you to his quarters for some repairs. You were not entirely certain _what_ needed to be repaired, and so you had brought a number of tools after taking into consideration what _could_ need repair. Upon arrival, the redhead typed in his code, placed his thumb on the scanner, and then moved aside so that you could enter first. You shyly skiddled past him, ducking your head and trying to keep your eyes from traveling over everything displayed. Which was not much, however what was present was organized. Everything seemed to have a proper place and that was where things remained.

“There are minor issues with my piping… Technician!” Your eyes had wandered towards the front of his pants. You swore in your mind, wondering if you were going to be killed _this_ time. General Hux, however, stepped past you and gestured towards a machine in the corner of the room. “Do your job.”

It would be much easier to work, you thought, if the man was not standing there watching you. You did what you could to ignore his scrutiny. Adjusting the piping was not a difficult task. Really, any technician could have repaired the machine, which left you wondering why _you_ had been personally requested by the general. You were not left questioning this for long.

“You truly are the quickest when working on such things.” You, having completed the task, stood and looked in the direction of the redhead. General Hux was regarding you with mild curiosity. “Tell me; have you ever repaired damages caused by Commander Ren?”

“Once, sir,” you responded. You then recalled how you had worked on the training droids. “Er, twice.”

“I see. There was extensive damage done to a set of consoles. I am delegating the task of repairs to you. Should you require assistance, you may pull up to two other technicians.”

“Yes, sir,” you said. Then, hesitating, you pressed: “Uhm, sir?”

“Yes, technician?”

“If… If you could ensure no Stormtroopers come by the area for…during the repairs, sir… It expedites things.”

His eyes swept over you. “I will speak with Captain Phasma. She will likely agree to personally oversee the area during repairs. You are dismissed.”

“Th-thank you, sir. Yes, sir.”

“Stop dropping your gaze, technician.”

“Sorry, sir. I don’t mean to be disrespec—“

“Oh, it’s quite flattering,” he drawled. “But also unprofessional.”

“S-sorry, sir. I just… I… I’ve only seen smaller.”

“Do you make it a point to inspect—“

“No!” Your eyes had practically bulged out of your head. You cleared your throat. “N-no, sir. Uhm…uhm… I was… I was dismissed, sir?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you, sir.”


	4. Chapter 4

Designation: TE-8500

There was an ambassador onboard the _Finalizer_. Supposedly he was a part of the New Republic, however he appeared to be sympathetic to the First Order cause. As did the senator who accompanied him. Politics were not your forte, and so you ignored the goings-on unless otherwise personally addressed. Normally this was by one of your superiors, who tended to direct you to a portion of the vessel that required either repair or routine maintenance. Today, however, one of the individuals that had arrived onboard with the senator and ambassador addressed you. The man was polite as ever, and so you shyly turned away from your task of tightening some screws that had been replaced due to normal wear and tear.

“And…the general’s first name?”

“Sir.” He looked up at you, no doubt believing you were addressing him. You shook your head. “It’s _Sir_.” Truth be told, General Hux did not go by his first name, and none of the other officers addressed him as such given the fact that everything onboard this vessel was business. Professionalism dictated that his title was always used.

“Ah…so… So it’s ‘Sir Hux’?” he asked, his brow furrowing.

You once again shook your head and, polite as ever, corrected him. “Sir General Hux.” Said man glanced your way before returning his attention to the political figures with whom he was conversing. “Sometimes it’s Sir General Hux Sir. Usually that’s if one is in trouble or has greatly displeased him.”

“I… I see.” His gaze slid towards the figure that was in chrome armor.

Before the man could utter out another word, you supplied, “Captain Phasma or ma’am. Sometimes Captain Phasma Ma’am—again, when one is in trouble or has greatly displeased her.”

“A-and—?”

“Don’t even look at him,” you instructed. The man flinched, whipping his attention back to you; his gaze had traveled halfway towards the Knight who was standing menacingly nearby. “Unless you have reason to address him, you do not look at him. He is Commander Ren, Lord Ren, Kylo Ren, Sir—and if you’re in trouble or have greatly displeased him, you keep silent or else say only what he asks of you.”

“Oh…oh dear.”

Suddenly you knew why he had been questioning you. It seemed the man had been working his way up to the Knight, to how to refer to the darkly robed figure. He had reason to address Kylo Ren. You pitied him, however did not have much time lest you displease all three of the triumvirate. With a nod in his direction, you dismissed yourself from him and turned back to your task of tightening the screws. The man was sweating.

 _Poor guy_ , you thought. But, alas, you could not help him. Already that morning you had been in minor trouble. Squeakers had decided to mouth—to beep off to Captain Phasma for reasons unknown, and your superior had blasted a hole in part of your droid. It was in the shop for repairs. Apparently a number of droids had malfunctioned as of late, becoming disrespectful to authoritarian figures, and thus you had not been personally punished. But your poor Squeakers. It wasn’t _its_ fault something was faulty within in.

Obviously seeking solace, the man did not leave your side. On the contrary, he began to speak to you once more. He was whispering so as to not be overheard; however, given that the other parties were close by, this did not quite go as intended.

“Well, when _you_ have to speak to the big boss”—he missed that your eyes darted to the front of General Hux’s pants; the redhead, however, was not oblivious to this fact—“how do you approach him?”

“Uhm… Professionally?” You were blinking repeatedly, trying to keep your gaze from traveling back to your superior, who had noticeably shifted so that his back was to you. His actions had drawn Kylo Ren’s attention, which was perhaps worse.

“Refrain from interfering with the technician’s work,” Captain Phasma’s voice rang over all other conversations. You breathed a sigh of relief, meanwhile the man paled considerably. Due to her addressing the man, you were able to quickly finish with your duties.

You were reminded once more of your miserable luck when the man followed you off the bridge. As you were technically not doing work, he technically was not interfering with your job. “I… I didn’t catch your name.”

You hadn’t given it. With a sigh, however, you rang out with how you were addressed. “TE-85.”

“Wh-what?”

“Tatey-five is what my friends call me. My badge number is TE-8500. Tatey-five,” you said. Really your friends called you by your actual name when you were not on duty, yet you were not about to tell this man that. The man, whose name you did not know and didn’t care to know, seemed at a loss for words. You forced a smile, nodded, and turned sharply on your heel to make a retreat.

“W-wait! Uh-er—Titty-five!”

“Tatey-five!” you snapped, whipping around and feeling rather appalled by his rendition of your name. Your cheeks heated up. How dare he!

“S-sorry!” His face flushed with a hot blush as well. He appeared to be genuinely sorry for his mispronunciation. That did not endear him to you in the least, however. You wanted to remain invisible when working, as you had been trained to do. He was preventing that from happening.

The triumvirate, followed by the ambassador and senator, exited the bridge. Not wanting to be caught loitering around in the hallway, you turned to leave. Apparently the man was oblivious to the newcomers, just as he failed to correct his pronunciation when he called to you again: “Titty-five!”

“Tatey-five,” Captain Phasma, General Hux, and Kylo Ren corrected in unison. Captain Phasma then repeated your designation, calling you to her side. You ducked your head as you obeyed. You stood beside her while General Hux escorted the two political figures away. Kylo Ren, meanwhile looked towards the man whose task was to address him.

The chrome-armored woman next to you pointed her helmet in your direction. “There are several blasters that experienced jams in this morning’s training session. I want you to supervise their repairs; a trainee will do the work itself.”

“Yes, ma’am,” You glanced towards the man, who was doing his damnedest to not look at Kylo Ren. Captain Phasma cocked her head to the side when she, too, took in the sight. You could have beamed with pride when she rattled off a _Good work, Tatey-five_ , but instead you kept an air of professionalism and refrained from cracking a smile. “Thank you, ma’am.”

Kylo Ren appeared to be having a field day with the man’s unease. He kept a predatory stance, nearly stepping into the man’s field of vision, which caused the poor guy to avert his eyes whilst his voice cracked or else took on a high-pitch. This time you did feel bad for the man. But, alas, he had called you _Titty-five_ , and you were much too insulted to feel _too_ badly. Not to mention the praise you had received.

It was when you had completed your task of supervising the trainee that you felt as though you could _never_ feel sorry for the man. Kylo Ren had arrived directly after the trainee had left. You dropped your gaze to the floor, following your own advice. He stood perfectly still, his boots in your line of vision.

“Tell me, technician—why did you look to General Hux upon hearing the phrase ‘big boss’?”

 _Well_ , you thought, _it pretty much had to do with the size of his dick._

But you refused to say such a think aloud, knowing how scandalous and unprofessional it would seem. Instead you cleared your throat and tried: “Well, he—“

“No lies, technician.” Your cheeks were hot as ever. Kylo Ren took a step closer to you, and you scrambled backwards in retreat. Then he suddenly paused. His chuckle, distorted by the vocoder, was perhaps more unnerving than that of General Hux. “I see.” When he next spoke he sounded contemplative. “You seem accident prone, TE-8500.” A pause then he uttered out your real name. Without thinking, you raised your eyes to his helmet; his head was tilted ever slightly to the side. It straightened, and you dropped your gaze simultaneous to him closing the distance between the two of you. His mouthpiece was directly beside your ear. “Don’t even look at me,” he whispered, “Tatey-five.”

You shuddered, hearing your own phrasing coming from him. There was something dangerous about him; he was always dangerous, you reminded yourself. Yet never before had such attention been directed your way, not in all the contact you had had with him. You were a trembling mess of nerves; the Knight of Ren was not backing away. He was standing perfectly still before you in that same position.

“What do I want to hear?”

Your lips parted, yet you found not a word left you. You closed your mouth, swallowing thickly as tears threatening to form in your eyes. You were terrified. But he was standing there, expecting you to say something. What? You were not certain. And so you blurted out anything, word vomited:

“You’re the big boss, sir! I’m sure you’re even bigger than General Hux, sir! I don’t know why I looked at him, Commander Ren. I—“ He had turned his head, studying the side of your face. You could feel his gaze on you despite that his visor hid his eyes from your view. You again swallowed, your lips quivering.

“That wasn’t open for discussion, technician,” he said emotionlessly. Kylo Ren rose to his full height, circling you in slow, even steps. When he arrived at your back the second time, he paused. “It’s unprofessional for you to think of such things.”

“I… I don’t, sir,” you said, once more failing to keep a lid on things. Your nerves were going to be the death of you, what with the way they were influencing your mouth. “I mean, I’m sure it’s a fantastic cock, but I don’t think about it. At all. Never. Except for that one time. In the refresher. Because I don’t even know if I saw it. In your hand—I don’t even remember which hand you were using. But you washed your gloves, so it’s okay.

“Because if you hadn’t washed, that would have been unhygienic. And then you’d be carrying a ton of diseases. Which would be bad. Not that your cock has diseases! I mean...it could… I don’t know where it’s been… In your pants, of course! But, you know, it may have been in other places too. Uhm…uhm… Oh, stars… Er… I… Uhm…” Your mind had at last caught up with your mouth.

_Fuck! Are you a fucking idiot? Obviously. Who the fuck does this? Fuck, fuck, fuckety, fuck! Don’t picture his cock! Damn it! What the shit? I’m soooo going to die right now. Stupid fucking idiot!_

“You…were watching me use the toilet?”

“No! I mean…not on purpose! Er… I… That is… I had thought it was the women’s refresher.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, and so… I heard a noise, saw your boots under the stall door, and… you zipped your pants. It was just when I was walking by on the way to the stall, I might have seen… But I don’t think I did, sir!”

“He was flirting with you.” The change in subject nearly caused you whiplash. “Titty-five, he called you… You have a button undone on your shirt…at the right angle, one can see inside.”

That said, Kylo Ren strode away. When he was out of sight completely, you dropped your attention to your shirt. You had never blushed more deeply in your life. At the right angle, one could see your cleavage. You fixed your shirt. All the while you wondered just how long your shirt had been that way. At least since you were on the bridge—why the hell had no one told you? And… Your mind paused. If Kylo Ren was aware that one could see inside, had he…? Had he really…?

Titty-five… You wanted to crawl into a hole—maybe a black hole would do.


	5. Chapter 5

Hands-On Approaches: Not Recommended

Squeakers was more pleasant now that it had been repaired. You found that its namesake had even vanished, which caused mixed feelings to develop. At the same time, it wouldn’t be apt to provoke Captain Phasma to shoot it again. That was a definite plus, you reminded yourself as the droid quietly trailed behind. You rounded a corner, patted your droid, and tried to remind yourself that it was _okay_ to have a day off. Even if you felt as though you were going to go stir crazy. The thing was, you were quite used to having at least _one_ task to fulfill, no matter how small. And, really, it should have been a fantastic thing that everything appeared to be running smoothly aboard the _Finalizer_.

Of course, _you_ weren’t the _Finalizer_ , and thus you were in no way smooth. Reality decided to remind you of this as you attempted to round the next corner. Squeakers, the darling droid you had momentarily forgotten, had anticipated such an action and thus went to move in that same direction. Unfortunately for you, this resulted in you dripping over the metal. Your hand flew out to grab the wall—that wasn’t a wall. You saw the black boots that were growing, unfortunately, more and more familiar to you.

“S-sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to grab your ligh…t…sa…ber…” You had started to lift your eyes while you spoke. Your gaze was glued to where your hand remained. “U-uhm… That… Uh, that… That isn’t…that isn’t your…uhm, that isn’t your lightsaber.”

_Remove your hand, you fucking idiot!_

Your hand did not move, did not so much as twitch. Your eyes were glued to the sight of your hand on him. You could _feel_ him through his robes and pants. But perhaps it was just a crease in his clothing, you thought, attempting to comfort yourself. Kylo Ren, for his part, remained standing perfectly still. Perhaps he did not know how to react to being fondled; no one was ever so bold.

 _I definitely didn’t see **this** when I went into the men’s refresher,_ you thought, swallowing thickly. Next moment you were mentally cursing yourself. _Just remove your hand!_

This time your fingers twitched, however failed to remove themselves completely from what was apparently his dick. The few individuals present in the corridor had frozen. They alternate between staring, their mouths agape, and looking away so as to prevent their mortality from coming to its conclusion.

“Wow, sir.”

_That is **not** an appropriate response! Just remove the hand! No! Not shift it upwards! Oh my stars, I’m going to get dismembered._

But, alas, you _had_ shifted your hand upwards. That was definitely a dick you were feeling. A cock that was rather proportional to the man to whom it belonged. Needless to say, his lightsaber _definitely_ was _not_ compensating for anything. Squeakers, the very being that had put you in this situation, beeped at you. This at long last allowed your brain to correctly regain control over your body. You used your free hand to slap your other one away from the man’s clothed dick.

You placed both your hands behind your back, standing at attention while keeping your gaze on his chest. Then your eyes dropped. Nope, back up again. Down—damn it! It was _worse_ than when you had seen General Hux naked. At least then, it had been only seeing. Not touching. Not _prolonged_ touching at that.

You did not die. Kylo Ren, now free from your unintentional groping, sidestepped around you and continued on his way. His strides were sure, ever-menacing. Your legs were hardly able to keep you standing; you felt as though they had turned into some sort of gelatinous mixture. You managed to release a sigh of relief and move again when close to three minutes had elapsed. Those in the hallway were still eyeing you, or else pretending not to. Squeakers, meanwhile, beeped; the droid was oblivious to the sexual nature of your meeting with your superior. It knew only that any sort of contact with Kylo Ren could be to your detriment.

Of course, you had not expected word to not go around regarding what you had down. Stormtroopers gave some catcalls, while officers stared pointedly at you. Your superior, however, delivered the bad news. Given your actions, your clean record was now tarnished. Slapped on it was the accusation of _Sexual harassment_. That in itself would have been bad enough. But, no. They had to be thorough; were forced to include _of a superior_ on the record. And, no, that was not all either. Very diligent were they in marking things down. _Recipient of sexual harassment: Kylo Ren_.

You were notorious now. You were the one who had sexually harassed Kylo Ren. Had fondled him. Rumors and gossip always were distorted over time. Apparently you had openly flirted with him, come onto him. You had offered to suck him off. Had offered to give him a hand job. Had begged him to bend you over and fuck you in front of everyone in the hallway. Had asked him if that was his lightsaber, or if he was just happy to see you. The final may have been humorous had you not been the one the rumors were about.

Over the course of the following two days, you were propositioned by a number of those aboard the _Finalizer_. Stormtroopers asked, undoubtedly sneering or leering as they did so, if you would inspect their blasters. On more than one occasion a hand would trail along your posterior. Whipping around, you were unable to say just who had touched you. Not wanting to be the one who called ‘Rathtar’, you refrained from reporting the incidents. Instead, you decided it would be best to hide away. Better would it be for you to be sent to reconditioning for abandoning you post than for you to endure another minute of the unwanted attention.

That was the reason you had not showered in more than three days. You had, prior to slipping away to hide, grabbed provisions for yourself. You ate and drank little, rationing what you had brought. As for clothing, that had gone unchanged. No doubt _you_ were a house of disease. Unhygienic. At least no one would wish to grope you, to even come near. You could smell yourself when you paid attention, and it was in no way pleasant. Squeakers was not with you. You had sent the droid to your superior, whom you knew would take care of the dear.

“Okay,” said a voice behind you. You turned to find another technician walking your way. He pinched his nose between two fingers. “It’s shower time. You have to do routine maintenance on the anti-gravity machine.”

You sighed heavily, but, deciding you had sulked for long enough and that you _did_ want a shower, rose and followed the man. He was ten years your senior and was one of the individuals who, when you had been in training, had shown you the ropes. He was also one of the few who hadn’t spread the rumors regarding you and Kylo Ren. The man, whose badge number was TE-1346, wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you along.

“Boy, you smell.”

“Better than being felt up by practically anyone I pass,” you grumbled, narrowing your eyes in a glare while keeping your gaze straight ahead.

“Yeah, well… The new rumor is you died. That Kylo Ren killed you for sexually harassing him. So if people are surprised to see you at all, that’s why.” You rolled your eyes. People could go fuck themselves! “And apparently it was only put in your file because of how much people were talking. TS-0101 said Kylo Ren never even commented on it.”

As you and TE-1346 were walking, you happened to pass by General Hux. The man, engrossed in his datapad, paused and wrinkled his nose. “What the kri—oh.” A sigh coupled with the utterance of, “Tatey-five.” He continued on his way as though nothing were out of the ordinary, as though this was something you had done in the past—which you most certainly hadn’t! The fact that he did not see it fit to reprimand you, however, gave you some minute amount of comfort. He appeared to have deemed it a forgivably offense given the circumstances; this was likely due to the fact that you were returning to your primary duties. Or maybe he just didn’t want to deal with the smell.

Whatever the case, you were able to bathe and dress in a new uniform before heading off to tend to the machine. Stormtroopers did not look your way. Strangely, the moment their visors began pointing your direction, they quickly averted their attention. Officers paled. You did not know why they reacted so strongly. Sure, they had believed you to be dead, but that didn’t warrant such a reaction. Not that you hated their sudden aversion in any way. On the contrary, you preferred it to their previous actions.

You ran through the maintenance routine for the machine, found that everything was in working order, and stood there when you were done. That was a lot of nothing, you thought. Granted, you had needed a shower and you had run out of food that morning, you could have stayed away for a bit longer!

“Technician…”

“Holy bantha balls!” you exclaimed, jumping in place then turning around. No wonder people had been acting as they had; apparently Kylo Ren had been trailing along after you—which warranted the question: why? “S-sir?”

As though he suddenly rethought things, the man turned on his heel and walked away. You blinked repeatedly. Were….were you supposed to follow him? You gingerly stepped forward once, then another few steps. More until you were standing in the corridor. Kylo Ren was rounding a corner, moving out of sight.

Maybe, your mind supplied, he had been wanting an apology. After all, you _had_ groped him, albeit accidentally, in front of a multitude of people…who had then gone on to tell the _entire_ crew.

You rushed forward, your bag of tools thumping against your side in a way that caused you to release an _oomph_ of discomfort. Ignoring this, you quickened your pace further. People stepped out of the way as you ran past. Kylo Ren rounded another corner. You were at full speed, which wasn’t much given that you were weighed down by your tool bag. It would be too theatrical, however, for you to toss aside your bag. Especially given that people were already staring at you for chasing after Kylo Ren. Annnd there were the previous rumors. But! You had to apologize. It was the right thing to do after all.

Calling his name or title would draw even more attention, and thus you refrained from doing that as well. You quietly ran through the corridors of the _Finalizer_ , chasing after the Knight of Ren. The man, having rather long legs, seemed to be keeping a considerable distance from you by merely walking. Your chest was heaving, a sweat was breaking out on your brow, and you had never felt more out of shape in your life. So much for your shower, you thought bitterly

You were momentarily too wrapped up in your considerations of personal hygiene to realize that Kylo Ren had paused. He whipped around, his lightsaber activating as he swung it, the plasma blade arriving millimeters from your neck. You froze stiff. Your bag hit against you a final time, knocking you to the side, which resulted in a minor burn that drew a hiss of pain from you. The Force user did not lower his blade, nor move it from its place at your neck.

While you did not enjoy the position you were in, you understood that you had no doubt startled the man. No one had behaved so boldly in the past; at least, not that you were aware of. “I… I only wanted to…apologize, sir,” you managed, doing all you could to ignore the searing, stinging pain of your burn. The knick to your throat had been cauterized by the blade that had dealt it. “F-for…what happened. It was…it was unprofessional. I never…apologized.”

“And so you hid in shame?” If computers could express curiosity, it would sound quite the same as Kylo Ren’s synthesized voice questioning you.

You had to remind yourself to not shake your head, unless you wanted to injure yourself further. “I was, uhm, uncomfortable with people, uh…uhm…groping me…touching me.”

“You didn’t report the behavior?”

“I was… I thought maybe I would be told…told that I…that I deserved it.” It was then that Kylo Ren at last lowered his blade, that he deactivated the saber. “People were saying…things.”

“That I killed you?” Almost snide.

“N-no. Before that, sir.” He simply stood there. The thought struck you that, given the fact you were gone for days, Kylo Ren had had ample time to leave on a mission. Either he truly had not heard the rumors, or else he was furthering your humiliation by forcing you to say it aloud. “That I was, uhm… Sir, that I…when I…when it happened, that I was acting…uh…overtly…sexual…with you.”

“…in what way?”

“Uh…well…uhm…as… Like…” You felt like throwing up, your nerves were once more acting up. You squeezed your eyes closed as you blurted out, “That I was trying to have sex with you, sir.”

“…in the hallway?”

“Huh?” you opened your eyes, blinking at the metal mask that was still staring at you.

“That you were trying to have sex with me…in the hallway?”

“Th-that’s what…that’s what people were saying.”

“That I was going to have sex with you in the hallway?” He sounded so confused, so baffled that he was the subject of such a rumor.

“Uhm… No, sir. That I was _trying_ to get you to have sex with me in the hallway.” Kylo Ren turned his head from side to side, inspecting the walls. It was though he were trying to wrap his head around the idea that people would have sex in hallways. Or that they may have. You drew your limbs closer to your body, careful to not touch any walls. “That’s so unhygienic.” His attention returned to you in full. “Uhm, but it is, si—“

“You should report to medbay for your neck wound.” He left, and this time you did not follow.


	6. Chapter 6

Conflicts of Interest: Superior Style

Earlier in the week, following you falling back into the routine of showering and appearing for duty every day, you repaired the showerhead in one of the refreshers. It was the shower that Captain Phasma used, you found when the woman supervised your work. One of the settings had suddenly not worked; you found that this was due to the metal being jammed. The seams of a portion of the metal appeared almost as though they had been stripped from someone over screwing the showerhead. With a shrug, you replaced the parts that needed replacing, and repaired the rest. It was the end of the week when you had been forced to return…to fix the _same_ showerhead.

Captain Phasma was not pleased in the least, though her anger and agitation did not rest with you. Thus you felt her silently bristling with irritation as you once more fixed the showerhead.

Only to be called in the following morning. You had to bite back a groan, wishing for all the world that they would call another technician to conduct these repairs. Really, a janitor could even take care of such things. But, alas, Captain Phasma had requested you personally. Perhaps this had much to do with, as General Hux had stated in the past, how quick you were at your job. Quick but also efficient.

Repairing the showerhead for the third time, you heard boot steps as a third party entered the refresher. You paid this no heed—until the showerhead literally ripped itself out of your hands and went flying across the room. You tensed, looked over your shoulder, and remained perfectly still at the sight of Kylo Ren. Captain Phasma also turned her attention onto the man.

“Leave it.”

“I prefer the other setting.”

“No.”

You did _not_ want to be in the middle of their argument. But, alas, attempting to escape from the refresher would only draw their attention to you. So you sat there, quietly as ever, and waited while they discussed—both seemingly passive though you could sense the underlying tension—why it would be best to have, or to not have, the showerhead repaired. Kylo Ren did not like the setting that Captain Phasma preferred. They both appeared to prefer the same stall despite this difference in opinion.

“U-uhm…” You swallowed thickly as both visors turned to your direction. “It’s, uh, adjustable.”

“Then she should not leave it in an unpleasant setting.”

“Perhaps you shouldn’t twist it the wrong way to remedy this fact…sir,” the chrome-armored woman responded, not giving in but also remaining the slightest bit polite.

Kylo Ren turned back to the taller woman. “It can be twisted both ways.”

“Uh…uhm… Sir, this… this model can only…it can only be twisted one way… You, uh, have to go in a full circle to get it back to the other settings,” you said, hating to be the bearer of bad news; the majority of the showerheads on the _Finalizer_ could be turned either way, so you could easily see how he had made such a mistake.

“Then install one of the other showerheads,” the man responded.

“They do not have the setting I like,” Captain Phasma returned.

“Perhaps you should use a different stall.”

_Oh, stars, it’s like listening to two children. Or a married couple. A married couple that’s about to get a divorce, that is._

“Uhm…can… Can I have my… Can I have my breakfast break while…while it’s decided what will happen?”

“You will fix the showerhead,” Captain Phasma said simultaneous to Kylo Ren informing you, “You will replace the showerhead with a different model.”

You remained in your position on the floor. Thankfully, you were not kept in the position of limbo for long. Captain Phasma decided to give Kylo his way. Thus you found yourself replacing the showerhead with a different model—only to put on the former model an hour later when the chrome-armored warrior dragged you back to the refresher. You were going to die an early death, you decided right then and there.

You were going to be known as the ‘technician who sexually harassed Kylo Ren and was killed over a showerhead disagreement’. When you slunk out of the refresher after Captain Phasma had left and you were completely alone, you allowed yourself a moment to groan. In truth, you normally did not mind being given smaller projects despite the fact that you had technically been given a small promotion that should have caused you to work on, say, the TIEs. The mechanics, however, had stated that they did not want any new technicians for the time being. At least, you thought, you had been given a task of higher importance by General Hux…only to have to deal with _this_ fiasco.

A black, stomping blur passed you in the hallway. The hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. You gulped, especially when you realized that the stomping had ceased. You cringed, anticipating your early demise. The deep voice ringing off your name of _Tatey-five_ , however, was all you heard. You turned and followed your superior when he began moving. Unsurprisingly, the pair of you went back into the refresher. Surprisingly, Kylo Ren turned on the water. The two of you stood there, watching the spray.

“Huh…” You blinked. You could see why he wouldn’t like the spray. Yet…you could see why Captain Phasma _did_ like the spray…on a low part of her body… Your cheeks heated up, and you cleared your throat. “Uhm… Well…” This wasn’t something you necessarily wanted to know. “Er…”

_I just want to work on TIE fighters. I don’t want to deal with this shit._

“I’ll, uh, remove—“

“That’s not necessary,” Kylo Ren said before stalking out of the refresher. You stared at the running water. Maybe this was something Kylo Ren hadn’t wanted to know either. And it was why the showerhead apparently irritated him. Well, he had _you_ to be miserable along with him.

_Misery really does love company._

You reached over and shut off the water before exiting the refresher for the final time. At least, you consoled yourself, you would not be called there again—unless Kylo Ren became irritated enough to break the showerhead for the umpteenth time. And you found that you really couldn’t blame him if he did. In retrospect, you sided with him in the sense that Captain Phasma should be switching the settings back when she was done. Because, really, if you were in Kylo Ren’s shoes, you wouldn’t want to know when she had just used the shower to get off.

For a good rest of the day, you did odd jobs here and there. Your mood had not improved in the least. Whenever you passed by the TIEs, you stared their way longingly. At one point, you were so enraptured with your longing that you crashed with a loud _smack_ into one of the other ships. Heads turned your way. You felt as though your cheeks had become impossibly hot, yet you stood your ground. Running away would mean showing everyone _just_ how embarrassing that had been.

“Please don’t dent the Limo with your thick skull,” one of the mechanics shot half-jokingly. You winced at the name of the shuttle. Great.

 _Of course I’d crash into Kylo Ren’s Command Shuttle._ You stared at the imprint of your cheek on its otherwise clean surface. One of the other mechanics moved over, taking a cloth and wiping the surface clean. You muttered out a weak apology.

“Oh! You’re a technician,” he said after taking a moment to look at you. You stood stark still, as though a gun had been pointed at your head. “TA-0973 is onboard. He could use a hand, if you have time.”

Boy did you have time! You had to bite back a squeak of joy as you nodded and headed on inside. TA-0973 looked up from his work when you entered. He appeared to be running some diagnostics on the Command Shuttle. Taking note of your badge, he waved you closer. You obliged, taking a seat in the co-pilot chair. Your heart was racing in your chest. You could not stop your eyes from wandering. TA-0973 allowed you some time to get this behavior out of your system before he started to speak to you.

“There is a glitch that has been causing the sensors to give off false readings. The issue seems to be predominately with the left sensor. The mechanics are checking on the wing for anything external. So far the computer isn’t showing anything definitive that would indicate the system itself is to blame.”

“Uhm…may I?” You gestured towards the screen. TA-0973 nodded, sitting back to allow you a better view. You sat there watching the stream of data. “Hmm… And you’ve taken apart the console here?”

“First thing we did, yeah,” he said without sounding the least bit insulted. He appeared to be aware that you were simply trying to get caught up with what had been done, that you were in no way criticizing him. “And, unlike with the _Finalizer_ , this has never seen the wrong end of a lightsaber.”

“I was wondering… It looks impeccable.” You took your eyes off the screen long enough to take in the surfaces of the shuttle again. “All the coding looks fine from what I can see.”

“Which is why we’re in a quandary.”

“Could you pull up the weapon’s system?”

“Oh…see if the targeting mechanism is interfering?” You nodded. TA-0973 hummed in thought, obliging your request. “Huh… This might be adding to the issue…”

“But it’s definitely not the cause,” you finished, squinting your eyes. “I’ve never worked on anything so advanced. How long have you been with the Limo?”

“Eight months. I’m _still_ learning, honestly. Constantly upgrading our systems, you know.”

“Oh yeah. Especially with a shuttle this important. The hyperdrive is working correctly?”

“Yup. No issues there. We were worried about that when the glitch first started. Didn’t want to overshoot…” He had trailed off at the sound of boots coming up the ramp. You looked over your shoulder to see the mechanic who had commented on your ‘thick head’ entering. “Anything?” The mechanic shook his head in the negative. “Damn.” He looked back at you. “Definitely a technical error then. You have time to stay?”

“Yeah. I finished all my duties, so… I should be able to stay for a bit.”

It was easy to forget the dreadful morning you had had. The showerhead incident was in the back of your mind. While you worked alongside the man, TA-0973 and you began discussing various droids you had each worked with. He chuckled when you started to speak of Squeakers. The man was someone you would almost call handsome. Dark hair yet blue eyes. A minute amount of facial hair, but within regulations. His smile had you biting your lips or else staring at his lips many times.

The two of you were going through the systems one by one. There were minor errors here and there, most of which had nothing to do with the glitch that was of concern. You were unaware of the passage of time until the mechanics peeked in to state that they were heading off to get some sleep before the next cycle. You looked from them back to TA-0973.

“Ah, do you have to go to bed?”

“I think I can stay for a little longer.” You could not meet his eye as you spoke. Hoo boy. You were forming a crush, and you could not deny that.

“I do appreciate the help.” He brought up another system and started to run it, code by code. At the end of thirty minutes, both of you caught it. “Wow. This might take a while.”

“I can, uhm, keep you company…if you want.”

“Yeah, that’d be great.” You asked him if he had ever ridden aboard the Command Shuttle. “A handful of times. Mostly just to make sure all systems are working. Never on a mission. That’s when only the pilot and co-pilot are onboard along with Kylo Ren and whoever else has been assigned to the shuttle. Sometimes officers, but mostly ‘troopers.”

“What’s it like? Riding onboard.”

“It’s…pretty nice. Very smooth ride. Maybe after this… I’ll see if I can get you clearance for the test run to see that all systems are working correctly again.”

“That would be…wow.” Your eyes were wide. No one had ever done something like that for you. And after all you had been through as of late, it nearly made you tear up. “That would be amazing.”

“No promises,” he said, holding up a hand as though displaying that, though he would try, it was ultimately out of his control.

You nodded enthusiastically. “Of course not. I appreciate you trying though.”

When the work was completed, TA-0973 escorted you off the shuttle. Everything was closed up, and the two of you began walking towards the living quarters of the _Finalizer_ for the technicians. You could not recall ever seeing the man in the past, which had surprised you given that he had stated he had been working with the Command Shuttle for close to eight months. Apparently the two of you never had the same circles—which, given his job and yours, made some sense. His looks were not the only thing he had going for him either. He walked you all the way to your door, where the two of you exchanged information so that he could contact you with the results of his request. You were hopeful, but not foolishly so.

“So, first thing in the morning.”

“I’ll be awake and waiting,” you said, feeling like an idiot. TA-0973 gave you a lopsided smile, mock-saluted you, and left. You slipped into your room, where Squeakers greeted you. “Hey there, you. You’re so active. Go to sleep—I’ve got an early morning.” Your droid beeped dejectedly. You patted its head. “I’ll see if you can spend time with another technician on the days I can’t take you with. I don’t want you to be alone either.” You stripped out of your clothes, pulled on a tank top and fresh pair of underwear, and hopped into bed. “Beep good thoughts my way, Squeakers.” Your droid obliged, and you fell asleep to its delightful noises.


	7. Chapter 7

This: Nothing Personal

TA-0973 did contact you first thing in the morning, and it was with great news. You released a squeak of joy the moment you hit the _end_ button on the commlink. Squeakers was roused by your noise, and you apologized while explaining that you would be leaving it for the day again. You promised that you would tell it _all_ about the Command Shuttle, which seemed to cheer up the droid. You quickly dressed. TA-0973 had informed you that the flight would be early, and you had less than an hour to dress and get to the Limo if you wanted to be on that test run.

Needless to say, in all your excitement you managed to get there even sooner than that. TA-0973 stared at you with raised eyebrows, his surprise at your eagerness more than evident. At the same time, he had a forming smile that had you fighting off a blush. You boarded the Command Shuttle along with him. The pilot and copilot were still in the process of preparing for the flight, which allowed you ample time to once more explore the interior of the Limo.

“Oh my…oh stars…this is amazing,” you said breathlessly. You realized a moment later that all heads had turned to you, and it dawned on you just how _aroused_ you had sounded. You cleared your throat. “I just mean…it’s a fine piece of equipment.” The pilot smirked, which did nothing to help your forming blush.

“You can touch it if you really need to,” the pilot said, still smirking as he returned his attention to the task of preparing the shuttle. You did not object in the least, running your hands along the paneling near your fingertips. “The Commander will be here shortly. We’ll take off then.”

Your hands paused no the interior of the Limo. You blinked a few times before turning your gaze to TA-0973. He furrowed his brow, as though he were confused that you were confused. With a mental shrug, you tried to quickly come to terms with the fact that you were going to be in a sealed location with the Commander. True, you had been near him before…more than once…had groped him… Yet this was something else entirely. Thankfully, the craftsmanship of the Limo soon distracted you once more.

“Oh…oh, maker,” you whispered almost breathlessly, again not realizing you were doing it. The men near you gulped—then tensed at the sounds of bootsteps coming up the ramp. This you missed entirely, too absorbed in another portion of the Command Shuttle. “Oh, maker, this is _amazing_!” The bootsteps stopped directly behind you, the abrupt silence alerting you to the fact that a second ago there had been noise. You turned, looking over your shoulder, and froze. “C-Commander!” you squeaked. His visor was not pointed at your face, rather at your hands, which were still absently caressing the paneling that had so held your attention. You dropped your hands and hid them behind your back. “S…sir!”

“A mechanophiliac….”

You blushed more deeply than you ever had in your life. “N-no, sir! No… I was just…fantasizing”—here he released a weird clicking noise through his vocoder, prompting you to remedy your phrasing—“not fantasizing, but… Sir, I’ve never been allowed to work on a vessel like…like this, and… And it’s really well crafted. Better than I’ve seen in the past.”

“I see. Strap yourself in. Pilot, prepare to take off.”

“Yes, Commander!” the pilot said as you lowered yourself into your seat. TA-0973 sat directly next to you, while the robed man slipped into the seat on the other side of the shuttle. Your eyes were everywhere as the engines began to roar to life. As TA-0973 had stated, lift off was rather smooth. Only a minor amount of turbulence, which you expected given that several TIEs were landing or else taking off as well.

Your lips were parted as you took in the view with a sense of awe. The transport shuttles you had been on in the past had always been packed with other technicians, officers and/or stormtroopers. It hadn’t been anything like _this_. You listened to the pilot and co-pilot speaking with one another. TA-0973 carefully made his way to them when they called for him to look at the systems. You raised yourself a bit, peering over as best you could.

 _This is amazing… Oh, maker, this is amazing!_ your mind repeated, as though you were a broken record. You could feel Kylo Ren watching you, however you were much too enthusiastic about your current experience to care much; besides, you were not doing anything against regulations. Plus there was the added fact that he had obviously approved your presence. _That_ did cause you to pause in your appreciation of the ship and look at your superior.

“Uhm…sir?” No reaction. What with his mask, you could not tell if he so much as blinked. “Th-thank you…for allowing me…uhm…to ride along.” Kylo Ren tilted his head to the side ever-so-slightly.

“Another technician.” You furrowed your brow. “I was told that another technician had requested to ride. It isn’t anything personal—do not take it as such.”

It definitely put a damper on your otherwise good mood. You forced yourself to nod and then looked away from your superior. You felt your goofy smile returning as you fell back into enjoying the experience. TA-0973 came to sit beside you again while giving a curt nod to your superior. You tucked back some of your hair when the other technician asked if you were enjoying yourself. You nodded, fighting off the urge to blush. Boy was the man attractive. And nice. Considerate. And—Kylo Ren was tilting his head again, his fingers twitching.

You shifted on your seat, and TA-0973 straightened as well. You cleared your throat and started to ask about various technical aspects of the Command Shuttle that he had to deal with. The conversation was rather pleasant, and there were a number of new things you learned while he spoke. Among those things was one of his nicknames, Tom, due to him telling his co-workers he would get things completed _by tomorrow_. Tom asked you when it was that you had first been referred to as ‘Tatey-five’. You grinned, stating that you had come up with it on your own, that it simply flowed nicer than your entire designation. Tom chuckled, commenting that he rather liked it.

“Perhaps you should be more focused on your job, technician,” Kylo Ren said, his voice a step above passive. Tom angled his body away from yours, muttered out a _Yes, Lord Ren_ , and turned his attention to the pilot and co-pilot on the off-chance that they required anything of him. Your gaze went to your superior’s visor then dropped down. “Remember what is already noted in your file, Tatey-five.” The sexual harassment bit. You bit down on your bottom lip, feeling rather embarrassed that it was being brought up. It had been an _accident_! “Your actions are being carefully monitored.” You did not know how to take it—was he doing you a favor by warning you? Or did he not want you interfering at all with the technician of his shuttle?

“Yes, sir,” you murmured.

When the Command Shuttle returned to the _Finalizer_ , you were first to exit the Limo. You wasted no time in walking away after waving a brief farewell to TA-0973, who nodded but kept his attention predominately on the pilot and co-pilot. The flight had gone smoothly, the error obviously fixed. You exhaled through pursed lips. Though you had been chastised for your behavior, you could not deny that you had enjoyed your experience on the Limo. It was different than anything else you had experienced, and it had been a marvelous way to start your day.

Now you had to return to your normal duties and—

“Tatey-five.” You flinched at the sound of Kylo Ren’s voice. Turning around, you watched as he approached you. His robes swishing, his footsteps loud with purpose. You straightened yourself, standing at attention as your superior loomed over you. “Come.” You shyly obeyed, your mind spinning with possibilities as to what it was he wanted. Kylo Ren led you over to one of the TIEs. “Climb inside.” Your eyes widened, and for a moment you did not react. Simply stared at him in wonder. His chest heaved in impatience. You snapped to it, obeying his order.

You moved into the pilot seat and then stiffened when you felt your superior climb into the TIE behind you. His hand was resting on your chair, the man hovering over you. He had you run through the systems, looking at the lines of data to ensure everything was as it was meant to be. Your fingers danced along the panels when you were instructed to look at the wiring of the computer system. It was everything you had been wanting to do for a while now. Even if it wasn’t your official job, being able to do this—even if it was your only chance of _ever_ doing so—made you feel so joyous.

“Do you know why you have not been assigned to working on the TIEs?” You blinked at the question, turning around in your seat so that you could look at him. His mask was pointed in your direction. “You are quick in the work you do. Yet precise. The risk of injury is greater when working with the TIEs, especially for those of a smaller size. A malfunction has led to explosions…electrocution…the likelihood of such things occurring is more common here than in the positions you currently hold. The duty assigned to you by General Hux is of more importance…a higher honor. Stop sulking, Tatey-five.”

He moved out of the TIE fighter. After a few moments longer, you did so as well. This time you were not stopped from returning to your daily tasks. You worked diligently throughout the remainder of the day. Your mind wandered back to your morning; the ride aboard the Limo, the chance you had to work on a TIE, and Kylo Ren’s words of advice. It truly did make you rethink your previous sulking. Sure, you wanted to work on the TIEs regardless, however you found that you were at last a little more content with what you were given.

Your day ended with you taking a shower in one of the refreshers. On your way back to your room, you rounded a corner and crashed into—you ran your eyes up and down the person—a dark-haired man. He scowled, straightening himself up to his full height, which was quite formidable. You took a single step back, once more looking him up and down. He was wearing a black tanktop and pants. Everything in regulation, and judging by his appearance he had just finished a workout. Your eyes were glued to his biceps. When you were alone next, you were going to be fanning yourself at the memory of them.

“You should watch where you’re going,” the stranger stated, his voice rather deep.

You pressed your lips into a thin line then pursed them forward. “Uh…yeah. Are you…a ‘trooper?” You were ready to run if he said he was. They were, after all, known to pick on technicians like yourself. The man, however, appeared insulted that you would think such a thing. “O-oh….an officer then. I just haven’t seen you—“

“Not an officer.”

“Er…then what?”

“Something else.” His mouth was set in the beginnings of a smirk. He was _teasing_ you, and you found yourself blushing so hard. If Tom was attractive, this man was physically even more your type. Personality-wise, you did not know either of them enough to know which you would prefer. “What?”

“Hmm? Oh…just…” You gestured to all of him with your index finger alone. “You should shower…soon. A training exercise is going to end in a few minutes, and all the stalls will be taken.” His eyes darted past you towards the refresher then back to your face. You bounced on your heels a little. “Are you new here then?” His eyes swept along you, the stranger taking a step around you and walking towards the refresher. “I—I’m Tatety-five,” you said, whipping around and staring at his retreating frame. “Wh…what’s your name?”

He muttered something that you didn’t quite catch before disappearing into the refresher. You scowled, leaned against the wall, and waited patiently. You _would_ get his name, because that could help you figure out what it was he did on the _Finalizer_. You pattered your hands against the wall, drumming a beat while you waited. When he stepped outside of the refresher, the man instantly paused. He eyed you with suspicion, and you flashed a wide smile.

“What’s your name?”

“You should be careful how you act around others… Some may construe this as sexual harassment…waiting for me outside of the refresher.” You tensed up, recalling Kylo Ren’s warning from that morning. The dark-haired man took a step closer to you. “Tatey-five.” You bit your bottom lip at the sound of your nickname coming from him. Such a deep voice, one that you could listen to for hours. “The training exercise should be ending. Stormtroopers. They like to toy with technicians, do they not?” You winced. Looking past the man towards the hallway through which the ‘troopers would be coming, you took a single step backwards. You hesitated solely because of your curiosity, the fact that you still wanted to know his name. He sighed. “Come.”

You did not know why you started to blindly follow him down the hallway, yet you did. Your gaze was glued to his back. His shoulder blades. The muscles in his arms. His back. His legs. His ass. You quickly raised your eyes, wincing at the memory of the sexual harassment notation on your record.

Upon realizing that he was leading you to your personal quarters, your almost stopped dead. Your heart began to race. _How the fuck does he know where I sleep? Huh…maybe he’s one of the security team? Who the hell is this guy?_ Rather than ask this question aloud, however, you decided to simply be thankful that you did not have to walk through the hallways alone. Not when a number of stormtroopers were patrolling, a couple of them looking your way as though they would harass you, yet immediately deterred due to your current companion’s presence.

“Hey, uh, thanks,” you said when the two of you arrived at your door. You leaned against the frame, facing the man. He watched you and nodded in reply to your words. “So, then, uh, you’re part of security?” He kit his brow. “It’s just…you knew…uh…you know where my room is, and…” You shifted uncomfortably, getting a bad vibe from his silence. “How long have you been aboard the _Finalizer_?”

“Longer than you have,” he replied. It hardly comforted you; if anything, it furthered your intrigue. Just who _was_ this man? “Sleep cycle is beginning soon. You should go into your quarters.” Your gaze became transfixed on his lips as he spoke. They were thicker than some of the lips you saw on other men. Not too thick to be unappealing. On the contrary, it almost made you want to press yours to them. You did not, however.

You pressed the button beside your door to get it to open, took a step backwards inside, and then paused. “What’s your name?” As with the other times, he did answer. He blinked, cocked his head to the side, and stared down at you. You squirmed a little under his scrutiny. “Uhm…”

“You truly have no idea.” You felt yourself starting to blush again. It wasn’t difficult for that to happen in his presence. An attractive face. Toned body. That voice, which dropped to almost a whisper as he said: “You shouldn’t even look at me.” You knit your brow then paled. You felt yourself beginning to swoon, and so you whipped a hand out to catch the side of the doorjamb.

Had you really been—? All this time, you had been…

“C-Comman…der…Ren,” you stuttered, feeling a knot forming in your stomach.

“Tatety-five.”

“Sir…”

“Technician.” You were feeling hot all over, partly due to the stress, partly due to embarrassment. Also in part due to the way his muscles flexed a bit as he set his forearm against the doorway, resting there casually. Before you could catch yourself, you started to use your hand to fan your face. Then quickly dropped the limb. Kylo Ren’s eyes followed it. “I see it isn’t only my shuttle that flusters you.” Your blush only grew. His lips settled in a smirk, and the man pushed off the wall, turned, and walked away.

As your door closed, you found yourself backing up to your bed, where you sat down the moment your legs hit the edge.

“Wow…”


	8. Chapter 8

That Guy: To Be Avoided

You were _not_ having a good day, if anyone asked. Thankfully no one did. Squeakers was at your side, and that was hardly a consolation for the fact that the man who had referred to you as ‘Titty-five’ was back. You skulked around the ship, avoiding him as much as you could. The good news? General Hux appeared to be avoiding the man as well. Not that you could blame him, what with the guy referring to him as _Brendol_ Hux. You had winced, shook your head, and more than half-hoped that the twitch in your general’s eye meant that he would punch the man in the face. Alas, _Armitage_ Hux was well in control of himself. Realizing his mistake, the man had blubbered out apologies, sweat running down his brow.

So, here _you_ were hanging out with your _general_ in the room that housed the anti-gravity machine. The two of you shared a look that spoke of your shared distaste. Squeakers was working as a footrest for your superior. The droid seemed rather pleased to act in such a capacity, chirping pleasantly here and there while the redhead scrolled through his datapad.

“Sir, will he leave soon, sir?” you asked, tightening a few screws in the room that had become loose.

“We can only hope, technician,” he responded, his scowl deepening as he tapped on the screen. He then paused and lifted his gaze to your face. “Did he attempt to flirt with you again?”

“Yes, sir,” you mumbled, your expression twisting into one of pure loathing at the memory. He had not been subtle in the least about staring at your chest. Thankfully, you had fastened your buttons correctly and thus he could not peer inside your shirt. You paused, blinked, and looked at the man. He was still watching you. “I thought he was being awkward asking for your first name that time. That’s…how could someone… That makes so sense, sir.”

“Idiots are allowed in certain social circles, Tatey-five.” You shifted from foot to foot, remembering all your recent mistakes. His lips twitched then he smirked at you. “You aren’t _that_ sort of clumsy, technician. You are not an idiot.”

“Thank you, sir. That means a lot.” General Hux slid his booted feet off of Squeakers, who moved over to you. The little droid conversed with you regarding various diagnostics of the different mechanical components in the room. After another ten minutes went by, you once more addressed your superior officer. “General?”

“Tatey-five,” he said in acknowledgement.

“I… Sir, I saw Kylo Ren… Commander Ren…without his…helmet…and…well…”

“He’s younger than you believed?” he asked in a drawl.

“He’s…more human than I realized.” _And fucking sexy as hell. Hoo boy._

“He’s aesthetically appealing to you?” General Hux asked, quirking a single eyebrow. You ducked your head, felt your cheeks beginning to heat up, and nearly kicked at Squeakers when the droid released a sort of whistling noise of confirmation. The redhead chuckled, however made no further comment on the matter. That was one thing you appreciated about the man. He was eloquent, yet did not waste words on trivial matters or else resort to needless teasing.

You wandered about the room for a little while longer, making small adjustments here and there. It was when you turned your back completely to your superior that he released a sort of strangled noise. You tensed then looked over your shoulder at him. The man had pursed his lips, furrowed his brow, and appeared to be conflicted over whether or not he wanted to say something. This caused you to look towards your shoes. Nothing, you noted. You twisted your leg to see if there was something on the back of your pants. Higher—oh… _Oh!_

“Shit,” you hissed out.

General Hux cleared his throat. “You may remove your over shirt and tie it around your waist…given the circumstances.”

You hadn’t even had cramps! Your blush had deepened upon your realizing that you had started your period, upon seeing the red stain on the seat of your pants. You gladly shrugged out of your uniform top, thankful that you were wearing an undershirt this day, and tied the top around your waist so that the stain was hidden. Squeakers released a sympathetic noise, chirping that you should return to your quarters to change as well as grab either a sanitary napkin or tampon. You swatted at the air above the droid’s head, wishing it would quiet itself.

The redhead pushed off of his makeshift seat and opened the door. He gestured for you to leave, and then followed you out of the room when you did so. You could not help but note that it was the second time in a matter of two days’ time that you had been escorted to your quarters by one of your superiors—by one of the triumvirate, no less. You crossed your arms over your stomach, chewed on your bottom lip, and tried to avoid the looks people sent your way. General Hux had his datapad in hand and was casually checking over things, every now and again lifting his gaze so that he did not crash into a single person or object.

He did not enter your quarters with you, however you found that, when you exited after you took care of yourself, he had remained. The man turned on his heel, and you obediently followed after him. The two of you had a rather comfortable working relationship in this respect. Though he was multiple ranks above you, he appeared to not dislike your company. Not to mention the way he admired your work, which was emphasized by the fact that he on occasion would pause and have you repair something here and there on the _Finalizer_. All the while the pair of you avoided the man who was the bane of both your existences.

The swishing of robes, the sight of this in your peripheral, caused you to tense. You went to dodge to the left, however tripped over Squeakers and instead crashed into General Hux, who flung out his hand to catch the wall so that he did not fall over. His datapad nearly fell out of his hand, however he managed to fix his grasp before this could occur. He growled out your nickname, and you buried your face in your hands.

Today was NOT a good day.

“Sorry, sir,” you said in a very soft whisper, keeping your body angled away from Kylo Ren. You did not know whether or not he was still there. A second later you heard those familiar boot steps. He was there, alright; and he was walking closer.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck! I just want to **die**!_

“General Hux…technician…” You managed a very weak _mmhmm, yes, sir_ , meanwhile the redhead responded with _Ren_. “They are set to depart in two hours’ time.”

Technically, it was not proper for you to be turned away from him as you were. Yet you could not muster up the courage to face the man. Thankfully and unfortunately, General Hux saw to it to place a hand on your shoulder and turn you around to remedy this. You dropped your hands from your face, lowering your arms to your side and wishing you could turn invisible at will. You stared down at Kylo Ren’s boots. They were rather shiny…so very clean. You started to chew on your bottom lip while you marveled over the cleanliness of those leather boots. One could possibly lick them without worrying about disease. Your gaze darted to the general’s footwear. His were in an identical condition. Your shoes, on the other hand, made you feel suddenly self-conscious again.

“Commander Ren,” you said, at long last uttering out a proper greeting to your superior.

“Tatey-five,” he rumbled out. It was almost strange, given that your mind was returning to the sound of his voice when he had not been wearing his helmet. You slowly raised your eyes, fighting off the urge to flinch away when you met the cold stare of the blackness from his visor. “He asked for you personally…” The man cocked his head to the side. “A mere technician drawing attention from a politician’s aide.”

Your eyes were darting all around the man’s mask, then to his shoulders. The hidden muscles of his arms. You swallowed thickly, lowering your gaze back to the ground. You knew to keep your tongue held. He was not looking for a response. Sometimes you wondered if he liked the sound of his modulated voice. It was, you had to admit, rather gentle on the ears. Something that could lull you to sleep if you allowed it. Or trick you into giving its owner anything he wanted.

He took a step closer to you, and your lips parted, your breath hitched. General Hux slipped an arm in front of you, as though blocking you from the man. “She is currently performing tasks I have assigned to her.”

Kylo Ren’s attention at last shifted away from you. He appeared to eye the general for a number of seconds then turned and strode away. Your heart was hammering in both your chest and ears. You greedily dragged in air before releasing a shaky breath.

“You have a very poor sabacc face, Tatey-five.” You nodded in agreement, feeling his gaze on you. General Hux clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Come now… We had best move along before we are spotted by our _guests_.” You one more nodded, fidgeting with your hands as you followed along behind your superior. Squeakers happily came along, the droid as carefree as you wished you could be.


	9. Chapter 9

Occupation: Mechanophiliac

By the time dinner rolled around, the politician’s aide was no longer aboard the _Finalizer_ , and you had parted ways with General Hux. Due to the fact that he had given you odd jobs throughout the course of the waking cycle, he had permitted you the remainder of the evening off. You were quite pleased with this, although you were not entirely certain what you were going to do in your spare time. Squeakers was of no help on that front. The little droid was insisting that there were plenty of jobs that you could still perform. Until that moment, you had never before realized how much of a workaholic your droid was. You patted its head then entered the cafeteria.

The individual ahead of you in line was a stormtrooper, whom you recognized as having once taken your tool bag and set it inside one of the TIEs. It had taken you _hours_ to locate the correct TIE, and at that point the pilot of said vehicle had been less than pleased that your items were in his vessel. Thankfully, he had understood that pranks were often played and did not chastise you for very long, although you were told multiple times to keep an eye on your things. To keep your bag always within reach so that you could grab it should anyone attempt to snatch it up.

Naturally, that was easier said than done in many cases. You scowled at the back of the ‘trooper’s head at the memory.

“Oh, Tatey-five,” a male voice said behind you. You startled, straightening suddenly, at the sound of it, and turned around. You blinked and felt your cheeks heating up a little at the sight of TA-0973. “Hello.”

“H-hi, Tom,” you said, fidgeting a little and twisting at your torso to see if the line had moved or not. It had, and so you shuffled forward. As you loaded your tray with a plate and utensils, you peeked to the side at the other technician. He was also getting his dinnerware set onto his tray. “Erm… How’s the, uh, shuttle doing? Any issues?”

“No,” he said casually whilst shaking his head. “The Limo is running smoothly—and good thing, that; Commander Ren has been more stern these last few days.”

Squeakers looked from you to Tom and back. You picked up one of the serving spoons, piling some of the questionable-looking noodles onto your plate. It was the only thing that tasted halfway decent. Taco Tuesdays were your favorite days. All the other days, it was hit or miss whether or not the food was good. After selecting a beverage and setting it on your tray, you walked along with Squeakers towards one of the unoccupied tables. Your blush returned in full when TA-0973 followed along. He took the seat beside yours, your droid resting against your leg on the other side.

“So… After what Commander Ren said on the Command Shuttle…” You furrowed your brow, not recalling what all was said. That you shouldn’t take it personally that you had been allowed onboard. “About your file,” he said, no doubt taking into consideration your confused expression. You winced. “I was curious about your side of the story. You don’t strike me as the type to sexually harass the Commander…not to mention he did not appear to dislike your presence in the least.”

The fact that he was so _mature_ about the situation, that he was giving you the benefit of the doubt, made you relax considerably in his presence. You stirred your noodles around on your plate as you started to tell your side of the story. The tripping over Squeakers. The awkward way in which you had _assumed_ it was the man’s lightsaber—Tom blushed and his eyes widen while his eyebrows rose. The fact that though your mind was screaming at you, you hadn’t immediately been able to snatch your hand away. 

“Wow…” He had a rather sympathetic expression on his face that allowed you to be able to smile at your past mistake. You twirled the noodles onto your fork then took a small bite. Tom lifted his drink to his lips and downed a bit of the liquid. “I’m… I gotta admit, I’m shocked you’re still in one piece.”

You winced at that. “Well…so…uhm…my first _real_ contact with Kylo Ren was, uh, when I… I accidentally went into the… When they remodeled, I rushed into the men’s bathroom thinking it was the women’s and he was there. Uh…” You winced at his expression, at the way his eyes were practically bulging out of his head. “I didn’t see anything, but apparently he was peeing there. And I picked the stall that ran out of toilet paper. Er…he actually gave me some from the other stall.” You thought back to that moment, a strange sort of tingling sensation traveling up and down the base of your neck. It felt surreal, even though you knew it had occurred. “He asked me if I was transgender or intersex… I really think I caught him off guard.”

“Ya think?” Tom asked, shaking his head and staring at you in awe. “That’s… Hmm…” You blinked, slipping another bite of food into your mouth. “That’s a good thing though. Things could have ended up _very_ ugly otherwise.” You made a noise of agreement. “What are you planning on doing after dinner?”

“Hmm?” You blinked, chewing and glancing towards Squeakers, who was rather content with simply being at your side.

“I was just wondering…if you wouldn’t want to come with me to the Command Shuttle. I have to run some routine diagnostics on it, and if I remember correctly, you didn’t get to check it out as much as you wanted to.”

Your heart raced in your chest as you gratefully accepted the invitation. The two of you finished your dinners, put your dishes and trays where they went, and then exited the cafeteria. A few officers, technicians and stormtroopers glanced your way, however ultimately ignored you. Squeakers followed along after you, close to your hand, which you occasionally tapped the droid with as though reassuring yourself that it was there. It nudged your leg affectionately—or as affectionately as a droid could—and your already present smile spread. What had seemed to be a horrible day was turning out to be better than you had thought possible. Another trip to the Command Shuttle!

This time, while Tom slid into the pilot seat, the other technician informed you that you were free to look around while he worked. You naturally took him up on that offer, not having to worry about anyone else overhearing your gushing. Squeakers contented itself with roaming over towards the other technician. TA-0973 welcomed the company of the droid while you knelt backwards on one of the seats. You were again running your hands along the interior of the ship. So smooth. Such craftsmanship.

 _I know what Commander Ren said about not sulking, but…_ You sighed, rather heavily. _To be able to work on something like this every day… Stars…_

Not that the _Finalizer_ wasn’t a lovely vessel—in fact she was your first love—but you had always hoped to also be assigned at least partial duty with one of the smaller ships. There were numerous technicians for the _Finalizer_ , whereas the other ships only had a select few. There was something more _intimate_ about it.

You paused, blinking, and stood though you kept your hand on the paneling. _Crap…am I mechanophiliac?_ Biting down on your bottom lip, you decided that, in this case, you just might be. Your mind wandered the giddiness you had felt when you had been allowed to ride the Limo. What would it feel like to be inside the shuttle when it was completing more evasive maneuvers? When it was in pursuit of another vessel? You shuddered at the thought of the turbulence, the resulting flutters in your belly that would more than likely start to turn you on.

 _I totally am a mechanophiliac for the Command Shuttle,_ you thought, applying more pressure to your lip and continuing to run your hands on the surface.

It was strange, the fact that you could feel yourself growing aroused at the thought of the shuttle. Your panties were feeling rather wet, and you shuffled your weight from one leg to the other. Your eyes darted to Tom, who thankfully was focused on his own work and had not yet noticed your current state. Squeakers was busily assisting the other technician, also oblivious to you. You turned and lowered yourself onto the corner of the seat, your legs spread so that the edge of the seat was pressing against your clothed pussy. You set your elbows on your knees, angling your body so that when you shifted the slightest bit, you could feel the wonderful hardness against your clit. You watched TA-0973 and Squeakers, ensuring neither looked your way as you repeated the motion.

 _This is so wrong…it’s so wrong…it feels so good…_ You grit your teeth tightly together in order to hold back a moan.

For but a moment your eyes left your companions so that you could take in the sights of the Command Shuttle’s interior. So deliciously built! Nothing like it anywhere. You looked back to Tom and Squeakers. The droid was still chirping out suggestions, which the technician readily took to heart. You lowered your hands to grip the sides of the chair, pressing more tightly when again you ground against it. It was absolutely perfect that the ramp, though lowered, was angled so that no one could peer inside the ship. Only required to watch one angle, you started to move more earnestly.

Then stiffened against the chair a moment later, the sound of boots stomping towards the Command Shuttle’s ramp echoing so that Squeakers and Tom also looked that way. Kylo Ren, hands in fists at his sides, strode up and into the Limo. Your flushed face started to grow almost pale. Rather than look your way, Commander Ren eyed the droid and the shuttle’s technician. “You can leave.” You, believing yourself to be the one he had just addressed, went to stand. Only to find there was an invisible force holding you in place. TA-0973 stood hesitantly, his gaze flickering over to you, and yet he ultimately obeyed. The droid, undoubtedly sensing the danger that was Kylo Ren, followed along after the man. You felt a little betrayed by Squeaker’s actions, yet at the same time you were thankful; you did not want Kylo Ren to damage the droid as Captain Phasma had done.

The moment Squeakers and TA-0973 were out of the way, Kylo Ren raised a hand towards the ramp, which then began to rise. _Shit, shit, shit._

“S-sir?” you asked, your wide eyes on the ascending ramp. The interior lights were all that kept the darkness away when the shuttle was completely closed. Kylo Ren turned his face to you, staring at you through his mask. You kept your eyes on his chest or else on the floor. _Don’t even look at him!_ your mind screamed at you. Yet your mind was also bringing up thoughts of how he looked without his mask, which was doing anything but help your state of arousal.

“You don’t work here…technician,” he said in that ever-deep voice of his. You felt your mouth drying up. Kylo Ren took a step closer to you. The muscles in your legs tensed, resulting in your body pressing more tightly to the seat. Your lips parted and you released a rather ragged breath. “Always so ready to run.” He wasn’t wrong there. Your heart was _racing_ in your chest so rapidly you felt as though it would give out on you any given moment. “What are you doing on my ship, Tatey-five?”

“U-uhm… Co…Commander Ren… Well… You see….uhm… TA-0973 asked if I wanted to… to see the Command Shuttle again.”

“I did not ask you why you were here, technician,” he said, and his booted feet moved closer to you. “ _What_ are you doing on my ship?”

“Si…t….ting?” His hand shot out, causing you to flinch as it grabbed the back of the seat behind you. His arm was blocking you from darting towards the closed exit. His metal mask was in your face, the mouthpiece in line with your mouth. You stared at the black of the mouthpiece to avoid looking at the deeper blackness that was his visor. “Defiling your seat, sir.”

“Fantasizing, Tatey-five?” he rumbled out. You nodded weakly. “Turn around…on your knees… Good.” You could hear him breathing for a number of seconds, could feel his gaze traveling along the back of your body. “How much do you like this shuttle, technician?” You felt your cheeks heating up hotter than ever. Kylo Ren set a gloved hand against the back of your head, urging your face towards the wall, though not slamming you against the metal. The tip of your nose brushed against the cold surface. “Show me… Show me, Tatey-five, how much you enjoy my shuttle.”

Your panties felt _drenched_ all of a sudden as you ran your tongue along the smooth surface of the shuttle. There was the tangy, sharp taste of metal that flooded your senses. The hand that was not on the back of your head was moving; you could hear Kylo Ren grabbing hold of something—and then that something was between your legs. Hard. Smooth. Pressed up against your cunt as he rocked it back and forth. You whimpered, once more lapping at the interior of the Limo as he fucked you through your clothing with what you knew to be his lightsaber.

“Look at how desperate you are for it.” Your grip on the back of the chair became so tight that your knuckles whitened. Arching your back, you did care in the least that this was not sanitary. You swiped another line up the paneling with your tongue and then lifted one hand to caress part of the metal. At the same time, you began to meet the thrusts of the weapon’s hilt. One of side protrusions caught against your clit in a rather delicious manner that had you shuddering and gasping. Kylo Ren drew back his lightsaber long enough to undo your pants and tug them down to your thighs. He worked the metal of his lightsaber hilt past your panties. You felt it prodding your entrance, yet he did not thrust it inside of you yet. You puckered your lips, kissing the shuttle. Your mouth was still on the wall though your lips were parted when he first started to push the thick handle into your dripping wet entrance. Your breath fogged the metal.

When he started to withdraw the lightsaber, you felt yourself clenching around it, your body not wanting to relinquish it. Kylo Ren chuckled, plunging the hilt back into you. Your entire body trembled. It had been quite some time since you had had sex. And this felt better than you remembered, being so filled. “Mm. That’s so nice, sir.” Kylo Ren fully withdrew his weapon this time, and you bit back a sob. His hand left the back of your head, instead finding your hip and pulling you off the seat. You stood on wobbly legs, allowing the Commander to lead you to the pilot’s chair. He sat on it so that your ass was hanging partway off. Kylo Ren hooked your legs over a portion of the control panel, pushing you down so that your cunt was against the steering console.

You obediently opened your mouth the moment Kylo Ren put his lightsaber to your lips. You sucked on it as though it were his cock, wrapping a hand around its circumstance, stroking it. One of his gloved hands tugged your pants and panties further up your legs so that your juices smeared on the steering console. He then cupped your cunt, hooking two fingers so that he was stroking your clit with every bob of your head. You rocked against his touch, thus further dirtying his ship. The pressure of his fingers on your clit and the ship on the rest of your pussy had you growing closer and closer to the edge. And the feel and taste of his weapon aided in this—until all too soon he was tugging it away, a trail of saliva linking the hilt and your tongue.

The movements of his fingers slowed before stopping. You tried to grind against them, tried to trap his hand between your body and the console, however Kylo Ren easily pulled away the limb. He jerked your panties and pants back up over your hips. You held back a whine, yet a whimper still slipped out. “Kneel and clean your mess,” he said. The throbbing between your legs did not dwindle. You dared not disobey, clenching your thighs together as you knelt and started to lick your juices off of the console. His gaze was on you the entire time.

The third time you trailed your tongue from the bottom of the console to the top, Kylo Ren slipped onto the chair behind you, straddling it and seizing your hips so that he could pull your clothed ass against his front. You felt his cock through his pants—larger than before, and hard against you. A swear left your lips, your lapping becoming more eager when he snapped his hips forward. He replaced the lightsaber between your legs, this time perpendicular to you rather than parallel. He ground the very tip of it against your clitoris, and you found yourself alternating between meeting his thrusts and simply grinding down on the hilt. All the while you either sucked at nothing to gather saliva or else greedily licked up your juices.

“Mm…Commander…Kriff…Oh, stars!” You were a trembling mess under him as the dam of building pressure broke. His thrusting only grew faster, harder as you came. His grunting was growing louder until a groan broke out. It was the most erotic thing you had ever heard. “Please…please…please, please, please, oh, please.”

He switched your positions. His lightsaber was on the seat under your ass, his hands on your top while yours were undoing the front of clothing. Kylo Ren opened your shirt, pushed your bra up, and grabbed his cock the moment you freed it, pressing it against your chest. You bit down on your lip, moaning at the feel of his leaking cock teasing your hardening nipple. You stared up at his mask as he positioned himself between your breasts. Your hands were on either of your breasts, pressing them closer to one another as he started to fuck them. Your tongue flicked out; you broke your gaze away from his helmet to watch his leaking cock as you licked the slit on the next thrust.

“Yes…fuck…lick it,” he growled out, picking up his pace. You wrapped your lips around the tip of his cock for half a second until he was pulling away. Your thumbs ran along your nipples, and then you were pinching them, tugging at them. You could feel a new wave of arousal developing. Wetness pooled between your legs. His hands wrapped around your breasts next to your own. You both squeezed, kneading your chest as you spread your legs and rocked against the seat underneath you. And then suddenly there was a rolling pressure that traveled from your entrance to your clit and back. You panted at the feel of the power—his power—on you. “Fuck.”

“Nnn…Commander Ren,” you panted out, your mouth hanging open as the Force filled you, hitting your g-spot repeatedly. You bucked your hips up, whining and tugging at your nipples harder. Kylo Ren wrapped his hand around his cock, jerking it hard and faster, his cum hitting your face and mouth in streaks. You swallowed what was on your tongue, moaning at the taste.

“Clean everything, technician.” You swiped the cum off your face, sucking every bit of it off your fingers before wrapping a hand around his softening cock and licking him clean. Kylo Ren tucked himself away, reached behind you, and grabbed his lightsaber. “I will send for a cleaning crew. Return to your quarters, Tatey-five.”

“Yes, sir,” you said, rising and readjusting yourself. You knew you would have to shower as soon as possible. Kylo Ren hit a button, and you heard the ramp beginning to descend. You scrambled out of the Command Shuttle, your fingers trailing along some portion of it the entire time. Neither Squeakers nor Tom were there; all the other technicians, mechanics and the few pilots present generally ignored you. This you were thankful for, especially after catching your reflection in the metal of the Limo’s exterior. You had sex hair, and apparently you had missed some of the cum that was still on your face.

In the back of your mind, you were a bit worried about where your droid had disappeared to. Your main focus, however, was scrubbing your hair and face as the hot water splashed over your body. And the ashes that you smeared on your body, spreading on your chest as a voice filtered into your ear—

You snapped awake, jerking up in your seat aboard the Command Shuttle. Kylo Ren was staring down at you, his head tilted to the side. TA-0973 was looking your way, and Squeakers as beeping out a question: were you okay? You rubbed your forehead, looking around yourself. You remembered climbing onto the seat, kneeling, feeling along it. Then sitting back as arousal had started to flood through you. 

_I don’t remember passing out…_ You thought harder.

_For but a moment your eyes left your companions so that you could take in the sights of the Command Shuttle’s interior. So deliciously built! Nothing like it anywhere. You looked back to Tom and Squeakers. The droid was still chirping out suggestions, which the technician readily took to heart. You lowered your hands to grip the sides of the chair, pressing more tightly when again you ground against it. It was absolutely perfect that the ramp, though lowered, was angled so that no one could peer inside the ship. Only required to watch one angle, you started to move more earnestly._

_You then paused, seeing that TA-0973 was angling himself so that he would be able to catch your actions in his peripheral. You held back a groan and forced yourself to lie down. Stared up at the ceiling, wishing you could have finished. Willing your arousal to fade away, you forced yourself to relax._

You forced yourself to sit up, finding that Kylo Ren was _not_ looking away from you. “You can leave.” Going to stand up—a pressure holding you down. You gulped, your eyes growing impossibly wide. “TA-0973: you can leave now.” Tom rose awkwardly, hesitance written on his face as his gaze darted to you. He started to speak, however was cut off when Kylo Ren’s head whipped in his direction. Stiffening, the male technician nodded and obeyed the order. “Take the droid.” Squeakers released a worried beep, however followed along after Tom. That mask turned back to you as Kylo Ren raised a hand, the ramp beginning to rise now that you were alone in the Command Shuttle with the Commander.


	10. Chapter 10

Inappropriate Thoughts: Not Tolerated

The lights within the Command Shuttle were the only things keeping you from being shrouded in complete darkness. In some ways, you would have preferred the shadows to this. That expressionless mask staring at you in an accusing manner. You wanted to apologize; you _knew_ he had, somehow, become aware of your dream. Really, you blamed it on your hormones. If only you had not started your period…but alas, you had, and with it came such erotic fantasies when you fell asleep. This was the first time they had featured any of your superiors. And your mind just _had_ to select Commander Ren. Which was, in a way, fitting; considering your knees had practically buckled in delight at the feel of his ship.

“You broadcast so loudly,” that modulated voice rumbled. You lowered your gaze to the ground. “I could hear you across the _Finalizer_. You shouldn’t think of such things, Tatey-five.” One of your hands slid into the other; you fidgeted with your ring finger, pinching the tip of it and then rubbing.

“I…I didn’t mean… Yes, sir.” You felt as though you were going to die from mortification. Him knowing exactly what you had dreamed about was bad enough. And yet here it was all worsened with him saying such things. Your attention darted to the closed exit then back to the floor directly in front of his feet. He could kill you with a single thought, you reminded yourself. On a whim. You had never seemed to irritate him before, however he was currently making a point to lock you inside the Limo with him. Alone. Memories of your dream nudged at your conscious mind, and you quickly swatted them away.

That visor had not abandoned you. Kylo Ren continued to observe you, and you cowered in your seat. You wondered, albeit briefly, what expression his face held. His head straightened. Noticing that he was no longer looking at you at an angle, you shakily rose to your feet. The weight of the Force had been lifted. You hesitantly walked over to the ramp, hitting the button to lower it. You could feel Kylo Ren’s gaze on you as the ramp began to descend. TA-0973 and Squeakers were standing near the far wall. Out of hearing range, yet within sight; you noticed them only when you exited the Command Shuttle.

Relief flooded Tom’s face when you headed in his direction. You managed a weak smile, whispered a quick farewell as you passed him, and urged your droid in the direction of your living quarters. The other technician followed along after you. “You really don’t… You shouldn’t… Uhm, Tom, I—“

“The ‘troopers will be out of dinner by now. They may harass you. I’ll walk you to your quarters.” You could not deny that you welcomed his assistance at this point. Squeakers chirped, the droid carrying on a one-sided conversation with both you and your companion. Said man observed you in the corner of his eye. “You alright? You seem…spooked.”

You nodded, not fully registering what he had said. You were alive—that constituted as being alright, didn’t it? You paused when the two of you arrived at your door. You leaned against the metal, staring at the floor before at last looking at TA-0973. You forced a reassuring smile to come to your face. He quirked a single brow, not looking in the least convinced. He shook his head, cocked his head to the side, and made a vague gesture in the air. Squeakers was patiently waiting in front of the door, clearly wanting to be let in.

“Do you need me to call someone? I don’t know if you should be left alone.”

“I’m…fine. He just… I can’t a verbal warning for…uhm…poor behavior,” you said. At the same time, you were suddenly hesitant. You looked over your shoulder at the door and then back at the other technician. “But, er… If you… If you wouldn’t mind…uhm… If you could sit with me for a few minutes. I’m… I could definitely use some company.” He rubbed his jaw, looking a little conflicted. “You…probably have work, don’t you?”

“A few minutes should be fine. I can call someone if you still feel, ah—out of sorts?”

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

“Hey, no problem, Tatey.”

Neither of you had considered the possibilities of rumors starting up when an officer watched TA-0973 leaving your quarters later. In truth, the two of you had sat and chatted about various techniques you had each used to repair many items. The rumors, however, stated that you had been breathless, your top askew. Some were giving you catcalls. Others, when you passed by, gave you a pat on the back for having sex. You nearly squealed out that you were on your period, your face in a hot blush. Unfortunately for you, your declaration did not help matters. Now it was “known” that you had menstrual sex.

It was a nice way to ease the cramps, one female commented to you. You pressed your legs together, shaking your head and starting to protest. Masturbation also did that, a second interjected.

“It’s… It’s very unsanitary,” you muttered out, though you could not help but think of the way you had attempted to masturbate on the Command Shuttle. The female officer and technician that had been conversing with you shot you a look. You stirred around the food on your plate, slouching in your seat.

“Don’t be ashamed,” the officer said prior to taking a large gulp of her drink. She returned the milk carton onto her tray. “Getting laid is a _good_ thing. Plus TA-0973 is nice on the eye.”

 _Yeah he is,_ your mind purred. You stabbed your fork into a piece of the questionable-looking meat. You lifted the bite to your mouth, chewed, and straightened in your seat when in the corner of your eye you saw a black blur. You then knit your brow. The technician across from you and the officer seated beside you released noises of confusion. The latter then made a sound of recognition, as though she had remembered something. Both you and the other technician looked at her for an explanation.

“Two of the Knights of Ren are currently onboard the _Finalizer_.” Your eyes returned to the black-clad warrior. He looked, to you, just as formidable as Kylo Ren. Just as imposing. His helmet started to turn in your direction, and you quickly whipped your gaze onto your plate. In your peripheral, you could see everyone acting similarly.

As if things hadn’t been awkward enough, two more black figures entered the cafeteria. You doubted you were the only one holding your breath. Though on occasion Kylo Ren would enter the cafeteria, he normally took his meals in his quarters. And when he _did_ come to the cafeteria, he wasn’t known to remove his helmet. Which was one of the reasons you had failed to recognize him that day. You could hear the Knights muttering about the food, distaste in their voices. You probably were not the only one hoping they would decide to have their meal elsewhere, and thus you were probably not the only one disappointed. They started to load up their trays with food, and then they turned to the tables.

There was at least one person at every table. Two of the higher ranking officers awkwardly stood, shuffled to put away their trays, and left. The three Knights of Ren walked over to the newly vacant table. A few more officers, as well as technicians and stormtroopers, hurriedly threw away their leftover food, deposited their trays, and exited the cafeteria. One of those people had been the officer that had been sitting beside you. Both you and the technician across from you shared a look. Both of you wanted to book it out of there. Yet neither of you could will yourselves to move.

The sounds of helmets being removed, of heavy metal hitting on the surface of the table. You remained tense there. More of the remaining few occupants of the cafeteria left. You lifted your gaze from the table, turning your head the slightest bit and looking over at your commander. Technically, he was not exactly a part of the First Order. He functioned outside of it, and yet…he was your superior. Could order you to do anything. Kylo Ren’s eyes darted to you, his lips pressing tightly together as he considered you. You dropped your eyes to the ground, nervously turning back around. The technician across from you was wide-eyed, horrorstruck.

 _Don’t even look at him. I’m not supposed to look at him, especially not like that. Shit, shit, shit! How could I be such a fucking idiot?_ Your throat felt impossibly tight as stress threatened to consume you. You choked down a sob of terror.

Biting down on your lip, you chanced a glance up at the face of the technician across from you. She was swallowing hard, her eyes shifting nervously. You could _feel_ Kylo Ren’s gaze on you. Her reaction to it was not helping to calm you in the least. The rumors from that morning were the least of your worries. General Hux prided himself on maintaining power. He governed with fear in certain cases, however it was predominately respect. Kylo Ren, on the other hand, thrived on terror. You had dared to look his way, after so many warnings…passive warnings in certain respects. Why he had not yet killed you, you were not entirely certain.

“L-Lord Ren!” the technician across from you squeaked, flinching yet at the same time attempting to straighten herself to properly receive him. Your lips parted and air escaped from your lungs. You had not even heard him rise from his seat. And normally his footsteps were louder; another tactic to inspire fear, you immediately realized.

“S…s…s…ir,” you managed, your voice hardly audible. A shadow fell over you. This was followed by a gloved hand slipping onto the table beside your tray. You could feel his breath on your ear, and it did nothing more than make your stomach churn in absolute terror; your pulse quickened, impossibly fast.

When he spoke, his tone was passive, his voice completely level. “Leave.” The technician’s eyes seemed to almost glaze over. She collected everything onto her tray, rose, and mimicked the actions of the others who had left in the past. It was when you heard multiple trays being stacked that you understood you were the only one, aside from the Knights of Ren, who would be remaining there. Tears welled up in your eyes. You fought them off, forcing down the emotional response. “Do you have a reason to address me, technician?”

_“Unless you have a reason to address him, you do not look at him. He is Commander Ren, Lord Ren, Kylo Ren, Sir—and if you’re in trouble or have greatly displeased him, you keep silent or else say only what he asks of you.”_

It was not only Kylo Ren looking at you; you knew that the two Knights were watching your every move, listening for you to reply. You shook your head, holding your breath and silently praying that he would have some mercy on you. The hand already on the table hardly shifted at all when its twin rounded the other side of you. You were out of escape routes—unless you attempted to launch yourself over the table, however you figured your efforts would be futile.

The muscles in his forearms were visible through the material of his armor. Having seen him in a tanktop, you found yourself gulping at the mere thought of his arm muscles. “You cost me a technician,” he said lowly. Your breath hitched, and your eyebrows rose. “What was in your file, TE-8500?” You could not bring yourself to answer, though you knew exactly what he was referring to. The accusation of sexually harassing a superior. TA-0973 was also of superior rank. The rumor that you had had sex with him…when he was on duty, supposed to be on the Command Shuttle.

“I—We…we didn’t,” you said, your voice so soft you wondered if he could even hear you. His mouth was still beside your ear. “Sir, we didn’t.”

“No…you didn’t.” He was calm—perhaps _too_ calm. “Nor did you heed the warning.” He turned his head the slightest bit, his nose practically touching you. “Do you have a reason to address me, technician?”

“So…rry, sir.”

“Another _accident_ , and you will need not worry about a mark on your record.” Kylo Ren rose, lingering behind you for a moment longer as he uttered out, “Leave.”

You could hear him returning to the table with the other two Knights. You scrambled to put everything on your tray. It was not as though you were hungry anyhow, though now you had nothing to absorb the acid roiling around in your stomach. You dumped your food into the trash, set down your tray, and exited the cafeteria without looking in the direction of the others. The tears that you had been holding back fell down your face in full. You brushed at them with your fingertips. Next the heels of your hands. It was one of the few times that the stormtroopers were being polite, stepping out of your way and not doing anything to hinder your movements. Not saying anything rude. The officers acted similarly.

You ducked into the nearest refresher to gather your bearings. Standing before the sink, you turned on the water and allowed it to run. After a few moments, you cupped your hands, gathered some of the cool liquid, and splashed your face with it. Most people did not get a warning when it came to Kylo Ren. They were either dead or else being choked. You nearly envied them this luxury. Not living in fear.

Spending a few minutes more in the refresher, you ensured that there was limited evidence that you had been crying—even though half the crew was probably already aware, and they likely would not blame you. You straightened your uniform, ran through the tasks you needed to do, and wished that you had brought Squeakers with you. Or perhaps not. Would Kylo Ren have damaged your droid to spite you? You shook off the thought, knowing full well it would do you no good to dwell on it.

_I want to check on Tom, but… Would that make things worse? Fuck. This is so stupid. Fuck, man. This is bad._

You were hardly able to concentrate on your work throughout the remainder of the cycle. Many times you caught yourself making a mistake, and so you thoroughly rechecked everything you did. What would have normally taken you ten minutes to finish now took you closer to forty-five.

_I can’t believe I had a wet dream about that asshole! Stars, he’s terrible. Looks aren’t everything…size doesn’t matter… Fuck! I hate him. I **hate** —_

It felt as though you collided with a steel wall. Perhaps slightly padded, given that you bounced off it and stumbled backwards several steps. Said wall strode forward, lifting an arm as he did so. You squeezed your eyes closed before the pain even began. You scrambled to grab the nonexistent hand, wanting more than anything to pry it off your throat. You could still breathe around the pressure, albeit painfully. The next thing you felt was his fingers encircled your throat. He held you in the air, your feet dangling above the ground.

_Pleasekillmefast. Pleasekillmefast. Pleasepleaseplease. Pleasekillmefast._

Kylo Ren tilted his wrist back, and you slid out of his grasp and onto the floor. You landed on your ass, tilting backwards further though not quite far enough where you would hit your head. You slammed your hands on the ground, bracing yourself whilst also pressing your legs close together and starting to curl in upon yourself. Kylo Ren lowered himself into a crouch before you. He was silent. You were breathing too heavily to even attempt to hold your breath. Being unnerved by his behavior, you were also too intimidated to rub your sore neck.

“You can’t stop thinking of me.” He cocked his head to the side. “Perhaps I should be flattered…” You bit down a yelp and instead whimpered when his hands shot out, seizing you by your calves and dragging you closer. Your legs were on either side of his. Sweat was dripping down the back of your neck. “The other—TA-0973… You think of him as being kind.” A strange noise escape him, which you knew to be a scoff. “He’s merely attempting to seduce you.”

 _That’s not true… He’s been nice. If he only wanted to seduce me, he’d have made a move by now._ You stiffened up again. Kylo Ren had leaned forward, his mask pressing ever closer to your face.

“‘Looks aren’t everything’…and yet it is precisely because of appearances that your record is less than perfect. That TA-0973 has been put on suspension.” As though he was ignorant of the concept of personal space: his mouthpiece only centimeters away from your lips. “‘Size doesn’t matter’…” He lifted his chin then lowered it, as though looking at you from several different angles. “‘Wow, sir.’” The words you had spoken when you had accidentally groped him. That he had them memorized shocked you to your very core. Leather met metal, his fingers trailing along the length of his lightsaber. “‘Mm. That’s so nice, sir.’” Your mouth dried, whereas your cunt grew wet at the sound of what you had said in your dream.

 _How much did he see? Shit…fuck…_ Those fingers, long, caressing the weapon on his hip. Your throat, already sore from when he had choked you, felt suddenly too thick, too full. Kylo Ren was standing, his feet between your partly spread legs. The man stared down at you, observing you. His hand had dropped away from his lightsaber.

“You were repeatedly warned, Tatey-five.” He lifted one of his booted feet, setting it on the other side of you. Next, its twin. His legs were aligned with your torso. “Suspended.”

 _That’s not fair! I haven’t done anything wrong! I didn’t mean… I didn’t mean to think about him… To have that stupid dream!_ Kylo Ren was walking away from you, leaving you alone and once more in tears. You recalled the way he had leaned against your doorframe. _“I see it isn’t only my shuttle that flusters you.”_ You grit your teeth. _What sort of sick game is this to him? This isn’t fucking fair!_

You drew your knees up to your chest, encircling them with your arms and burying your face against them. A sob tore itself from your throat.


	11. Chapter 11

Showers: You Take Too Many

You could hardly believe how things were running their course. Suspension meant that your privileges of having a droid of your own were temporarily revoked—thankfully TE-1346 was willing to take on Squeakers for the time being. You wrapped your blanket around yourself, sitting on your bed and glowering at the wall. You had cried a few times already despite only one a half working cycles transpiring. Swore up a storm more than a handful of times, contemplated the benefits of making a Kylo Ren dart board and then ultimately decided it would be better for your mortality if you did not. You spent the majority of your time, when you were not sulking, reading through various manuals. All in all, you were _bored_.

Thus, on the fourth day of your suspension, you were taking your third shower of the day. There was not much else to do, and you spent only a part of the time actually under the spray. You mostly sat cross-legged on the floor, allowing the warm water to hit the edge of your legs. The steam filled the room, helping you to relax. You ducked into the spray once more, standing and allowing the warmth to spread further through your body. You reached over, shutting off the water and remaining there dripping for a few seconds.

You reached a hand outside, past the curtain, and pulled your towel inside after having wrung out your hair. You wrapped yourself up, moved aside the curtain and stepped out. Then froze up completely, a loud yelp escaping you. Dark robes greeted you. Kylo Ren was not wearing his helmet, which further threw you off. He was leaning against the wall on the opposite side, his legs outstretched so that he was at a bit of an angle. You took him in, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the next.

“S-sir,” you stuttered out, clutching your towel all the more tightly. His brown eyes traveled along your body.

“Technician.” Emotionless, matter-of-fact. As though he wasn’t standing there in the women’s refresher with you covered by nothing more than a towel. “You’re abusing your suspension. It is not a time in which you should be…indulging yourself.” Your mind shot back to when he and Captain Phasma had been in an argument over the showerhead. You cleared your throat, a protest on the tip of your tongue. “You weren’t,” he stated calmly. He was outright smirking at you, dipping his chin and staring at you through the amusement shining in his eyes.

You lowered your gaze to the floor. “Sir, I…” You had no excuse for your actions.

You could see his boot press firmly against the ground as he pushed himself off the wall. Kylo Ren stepped closer to you, and you felt your muscles tensing. As though they were ready for you to spring, or else were about to give out on you. There was always something so predatory about the way he walked. As though he would lunge in for an attack at any given moment. It made perfect sense, given who he was. He stood so close to you that you could feel his breath puffing over your wet hair.

“Commander…?” You wrapped your arms tightly around your top, keeping your towel up while crossing your legs and angling your body away from him. “S-sir…I… Can I get dressed?” His mouth shifted, lips parting though at first they stuck together. He was watching your body. It was actions such as these that gave you whiplash. He was, after all, the one to have suspended you for so much as _thinking_ of him. “Sir, I need to dress,” you said, a little more sternly this time.

His nostrils flared, however rather than say anything in response, Kylo Ren moved past you. He rounded the corner. You were unable to tell if he had fully exited or not; all the same, you quickly grabbed up your clothing after quickly drying off and then pulled on your bra and panties. Your pants were up next. A squeak from you as you scrambled to throw on your shirt. His footsteps were returning; Kylo Ren was not always known for his patience. Feet still bare, you swerved around to face him when he stepped into view.

“They’re waiting.” You furrowed your brow, trying to discern what it was he was implying. “The training droids have not been repaired—“

“I’m… I’m still on suspension, sir.” Kylo Ren paused, his eyebrows drawing towards one another. “You… You suspended me.” How the _kriff_ did he not remember? Were you truly so insignificant that he could stomp all over your life and then forget?

“You should have been informed this morning of the task. The Knights and I are training. The droids are in need of repair. You were assigned to this given you that currently have no other responsibilities.” _He_ was the reason you had no other responsibilities… and were currently lacking your droid companion. “Come.”

You dared not disobey. Death would be worse than suspension. At least with suspension you would be able to eventually return to doing what you loved. Death? Who knew what happened after that. You tossed your towel into the dirty laundry basket, slumped your shoulders, and sulked along after your superior. He was not even technically _in_ the First Order, your mind shot.

_I don’t see why I have to obey him… Other than the fact that he’d kill me if I didn’t. But seriously. What an ass! Can’t even shower in peace._

“Monitor your thoughts, technician,” his voice shot at you. You jumped at the sound. Anyone you were passing by ducked their heads. You imagined Kylo Ren glowered at each and every one of them. He did not normally walk around sans helmet. Who knew what your co-workers were thinking? Perhaps some of them had already seen his real face. Kylo Ren rounded a final corner, leading you into the training facility. The two Knights were there waiting, a pile of training droids nearby.

 _Hooboy,_ you thought, holding back a groan. _This is going to take a while._

As you dragged your feet along the way to the pile, your superior walked over to his fellow Knights. You sank down onto the floor, grabbed hold of the tool bag that had been provided, and started to grab out what you would need to begin the repairs. Kylo Ren and the Knights appeared to be quite content using one another as sparring partners in the meanwhile. Your eyes constantly darted to the three of them. The two Knights often struck at their Master in unison though it appeared to you that it was a free-for-all.

He was the definition of grace. Dodging attacks with such ease, almost as though he was toying with them. A cat playing. You dropped your gaze back down to the droid you were currently attempting to repair. A large part of you was wishing Squeakers were there with you, chirping out suggestions to make things run more smoothly.

 _That’s twelve,_ your mind sighed out as you set aside yet another of the repaired droids. There were about that many more left for you to fix. _Ugh. This is one of my least favorite jobs. So many little parts._

A good ninety minutes elapsed before at long last you were finished with the task that had been assigned to you. One of the Knights had taken his—her? You could not call their genders—leave in that time. The other and Kylo trained for a little while longer. You rose and brushed off your pants then started to stretch your arms above your head. Kylo Ren and the Knight broke apart from one another. You stilled, noticing that the Master of the Knights of Ren had turned his head, looking your way.

The Knight took a step backwards, said something you could not hear, and left. You gulped. It was never a good thing to be alone with the dark-haired man as you were. “I… I finished, sir,” you said promptly, in no way enjoying the silence.

Kylo Ren began to walk towards you. You kept yourself as relaxed as you could. “He has been reassigned—because of you.”

“What? Who?”

“TA-0973. Abandoning his post as he did… To work on the Command Shuttle is an _honor_. One he clearly did not take seriously. Perhaps he may later be worthy of returning to the post.” To say you felt like shit would be an understatement. You wanted to leave so that you could check in on Tom. Kylo Ren drew up to his full height as those thoughts filtered through your head. “It would be in poor taste to interfere with his current duties. I doubt he would warmly welcome the interruption you would bring.”

_I still have his number…from when he called to let me know about the Limo… Maybe I can message him…_

“Tatey-five.” You snapped back to the present, your eyes widening a fraction of an inch. “You seem to have an inability to listen…to learn.” You winced at his words. How many times had he given you warnings over various things? You somehow doubted he was doing this to be nice. It would interfere with his work if you did not obey; except, you thought, in the case of you speaking with TA-0973 outside of working hours. That had nothing to do with his job or ability to fulfill orders given to him by Supreme Leader. It was definitely more…personal.

“Sir… Why do you want me to avoid TA-0973?”

“Do you enjoy being suspended, TE-8500?” Kylo Ren countered. You slowly shook your head, unsure how else to respond. It was not as though you wished to anger him. “You should not fraternize with your superiors.” As he spoke this line, the Knight stepped closer to you. Your eyes wandered about his face. You should not be looking at him, you reminded yourself. _Stop staring at him._ He held your gaze for several seconds longer before stepping around you.

You remained staring directly ahead of yourself, listening to the sounds of his footsteps as he walked towards the door. He exited the training area, and you looked to the pile of droids. He hadn’t even needed them. You felt heat slipping into your cheeks, blood pooling under their surfaces. Had he broken the droids as an excuse to have you present? You shot down the notion. This was the man who had suspended you! A large part of you wanted to march after him and demand answers, yet you well remembered the previous time you had followed him. Your neck stung at the memory of that plasma blade against it.

Alone in the training area, you found it best to clean up the droids, returning them to their cases or docking stations. Once finished with this task you walked through the halls. You could feel a low buzzing in your ears, your pulse quickening as your feet headed in the direction of the nearest refresher. You reasoned that Commander Ren would desire a shower. And, yes, you _did_ want answers.

You could not help but be filled with apprehension. While this was not the first time you had waited outside of the refresher for the man, it was definitely the first time you had done so while knowing his identity. You leaned against the wall opposite the door, your hands behind your back. Fingers drumming against the wall, feet tapping on the floor. You ran your tongue along your teeth.

When he emerged from the refresher, he was dressed in pants and a tanktop. A towel was around his shoulders, his hand working it against one side of his head, patting the hair dry. “Tatey-five.”

“Uhm, Commander?”

“Technician.”

“Er…why… Uhm, why did you want the droids fixed, sir?”

He offered a rather sardonic smile. “They’re no use to me broken.” You bit down on your bottom lip to keep from responding to his snark. “Do you believe there is an alternative reason? A use for you beyond your occupation?” You blinked more than a single time in rapid succession.

 _What the fuck is he implying?_ Your eyes shot up and down his body. _Then again, I do keep waiting for him like this… Maybe he’s getting the wrong impression._

“Sir, I was just… You did not use the training droids, and so I was confused.” The words came out smoothly enough, and yet they did not seem to have the dismissive nor apologetic effect you had been hoping. “I… I don’t mean to say… Well… Sir, I…” You were now fidgeting with your sleeves and fumbling for a train of thought. “I’m just confused, sir, as to why you would want me to do anything near you…and not needing the training droids today, so I could have repaired them when you weren’t there… _You_ suspended me, Commander, because of…well…in part due to inappropriate thoughts.” You gestured towards his lap at the final portion then felt blood once more rushing to your face. “Sorry.”

“The issue lays, too, with your molesting my ship. Distracting my technician. The problems you cause would be minimal had they been from multiple individuals. Yet it’s always you. Your condition did nothing more than exacerbate things.”

 _My condition? Wait a minute…he…did he suspend me because I was menstruating!?_ You openly gawked.

“You misunderstand,” he said, sounding rather annoyed with you. His hand dropped away from the towel, which hung limply around his shoulders. His fingers twitched, curling towards the heel of his hand. You stared at the fist, feeling your knees locking up. “You’re too comfortable near me, technician.”

 _I’m really not,_ your mind shot. You stepped further against the wall, wishing you could fuse with it.

“Do you think I would fuck you as though you were my equal?” You felt the familiar urge to cry building within you. “Just a technician…replaceable.”

“You’re an ass.” Your hand flew over your mouth the next instant. Rather than appearing surprised by your outburst, the man was smirking at you again. “Sir, I—“ His hands slammed on either side of your head, his face in yours though his body was angled away. “I’m sorry, sir. Please…please…”

“What are you begging for, technician?”

“Mercy, sir.” Mercy, which implied that he was above you.

“Do you forget that I see inside your head? It isn’t a passing fancy…” He slipped one leg between yours. _Another dream…this is just another dream, isn’t it? He’s going to be so pissed when I wake up._ His thigh was against your cunt, pressing up into you while you moved your lower anatomy against him. Grinding against it. “It’s inappropriate of you to do this, technician…and yet you’re off duty.”

You bit down on your bottom lip, feeling him starting to rub into you as well before taking a step backwards. “I… I don’t want to have sex in the hallway.”

“This isn’t sex, technician.” You knit your brow, tilting your head to the side as confusion traveled through you. “That dream of yours…on the Command Shuttle…in my head…” Kylo Ren once more shifted between your legs, this time using both of his limbs to spread yours. He rutted against you, and your jaw dropped, tears of pleasure forming in the corners of your eyes as you ground back against him. You could feel his cock stirring, could feel it hardening against you. The two of you worked your hips against one another’s, your palms pressed firmly against the wall to give you more support. “Faster, technician.” You moaned, leaning your head back so that it hit against the wall. At the same time, you hooked one leg over his hips so that you could obey. You were panting, your mouth open and dry as your eyelashes fluttered whilst you stared with need at his face. Kylo Ren’s mouth was set in a confident smirk, which faltered only when you dipped your hips so that the angle was changed. “You were written up for this. For trying to get me to fuck you in a hallway.”

“Nnn…” You gulped when his hands dropped from the wall down your hips, tugging you more firmly to him. He felt impossibly large in his pants. It made you wet. “Iwanttosuckyouwhileyoueatmeout,” you blurted.

“I know, Tatey-five,” he purred, his thumbs massaging you, hooking closer and closer towards your cunt. “And yet you said size doesn’t matter.”

“Fffffuck, sir.” You set your hands on his shoulders, feeling his muscles underneath your fingertips. “Mm…”

“No.”

“Please…please…pleasepleaseplease—oh, fuck. Oh, yes! Yes! Mmmm, fuck!” He did not still his hips as you came. If anything his thrusting became more animalistic, hard and rough, making you ride out your orgasm. “Oh please, fuck my mouth.”

“No,” he said again, hooking his arms underneath your legs. “It’s not very sanitary, Tatey-five.”

“Mmm…I’ll… I’ll be a dirty girl for you.”

Apparently that was what he had wanted to hear. You found yourself on the floor, your bottoms torn off of you and his mouth on your cunt. You buried your hands in his hair, rocking desperately against him as he flipped over onto his back so that you were straddling his face. Anyone could catch you, your mind screamed. You looked over your shoulder at his tented pants. Kylo Ren released you long enough for you to turn around, and then his hands were on you again, tugging you down so that he could mouth you.

You stretched down his body, worked open his pants, and pulled out his cock. “Oh, fuck, sir.” You wrapped your hand around him, biting down on your bottom lip. Not only was he long, but he was rather thick as well. “Can I, Commander?” His tongue toyed with your clitoris. You trembled, feeling your juices running down over his face. He murmured out a response before burying his tongue into your folds. You hungrily leaned forward, engulfing the head of his erection then pulling back for a noisy, wet pop. You licked your lips, pumping your hand up and down, twisting your wrist and allowing a line of spit to run past your lips and onto his dick. You licked a trail up and down his cock, wetting him then jerking him with faster strokes. You ground your pussy into his mouth, feeling his teeth grazing you.

 _Shit, girl, he’s going to write you up… Oh fuck, this dick… Fuck… Mmm, damn, he tastes so good._ You bobbed your head, loving the feeling of him in your mouth. He was too large for it to be exactly comfortable, and yet that stretch had you imagining how amazing it would feel to have him pounding into your cunt. You moaned around him. Kylo Ren slurped some of your juices into his mouth, blew on your clit, and attacked your pussy anew. All too soon he had you cumming again.

Before you could come down from your high, he twisted his body, hooking a leg over you so that when he flipped you onto your back, he was straddling your stomach. His hands were already busy forcing open your top. You breathed heavily and tried to assist him, only for your superior to bat away your hands. Your bra, he tore. It reminded you of your dream, the way he commanded you to hold your breasts together. As you obeyed him, he was already lining up his cock. Unlike in the dream, he was more rough. His fingers pinching your nipples roughly, maybe a little too hard, so that you were whimpering in pain. You were only thankful that he relented. His pupils were dilated, his hips working fast as he fucked your chest.

Kylo Ren’s lips pulled back from his teeth, and it took you only half a second to realize what he was wanting. He was mimicking your dream, and so you flicked out your tongue to taste the head of his cock on the next thrust. The man above you swore, petting at your cheek and then forcing three fingers into your mouth. You gagged around them. “A dirty girl for me,” he chuckled out, swearing the next moment and throwing back his head. His cum streaked your cheek, nearly landing in your eye, however you had managed to close it. He pulled back as he was ejaculating, working himself with his hand so that most of his cum covered your chest.

He grabbed for the towel that had fallen nearby, using it wipe off his face then cock before standing. You held your breath, suddenly unsure how to respond. Kylo Ren, having regained complete control of himself, gestured to the refresher. “You should shower.”

“Y-yeah.” You awkwardly stood, tried to adjust your clothing, and ducked into the refresher.

_What the hell just happened between us?_

As this thought floated through your mind, you prepared your fourth shower of the day.


	12. Chapter 12

Size Kink: You’ve Got It

Following your fourth shower of the day, you wrapped a towel around yourself and stared at your torn bra. Your cheeks flushed with heat at the memory of what you had done not long before. You were still trying to figure out where it had all come from. Sure, there had been tension between the two of you, and yet… You swallowed thickly, clumsily pulling on your panties and pants before shrugging into your shirt. You tossed away the bra, patted your hair so that it dried a bit more, and slunk towards the exit so that you could return to your quarters.

_I can’t believe I said those things… or did those things… Fuck, girl, you’re an idiot._

You had sobered somewhat, and now you could not help but think of the consequences of your actions. Technically he was not a part of the First Order, and thus it wasn’t _exactly_ fraternizing with a superior in that respect. All the same, you doubted that you would not be punished in some form. After all, you had a marking on your record when you had accidentally groped him. The things you did this time were far from accidental.

Rolling your eyes and growling in frustration, you entered your quarters and immediately put on fresh clothing. Afterwards, you picked up your datapad with the intention of contacting Tom only to discover that he had preempted you.

_**TA-0973:** Hey, Tatey. I’m sure by now you’ve heard about the demotion. It’s not your fault, so don’t worry about it, alright? We’ll talk later._

All the same, you could not help but groan. You started to type a reply in the messaging center, careful with what you said due to the fact that you knew everything was monitored.

_**TE-8500:** I still feel as though I should have discouraged you more. I appreciate what you did. But, really, I should not have put you in a position where your job was compromised._

You seized your bottom lip between your teeth. Kylo Ren was responsible for both Tom’s demotion and your suspension. And here you had jumped at the chance of having a sexual encounter with him. And for what reason? Because of the size of his dick? Wrinkling your nose, you nearly set aside the datapad when a chime alerted you to an incoming message.

_**TA-0973:** There were extenuating circumstances. There is also the fact that I was aware of what was written in your file then put you in a position where you could be compromised as well. I explained that nothing happened between the two of us, otherwise you would have been placed on suspension as well. Although, I hear you are suspended all the same?_

_**TE-8500:** For a number of reasons. I was given a number of warnings. I seem to have pushed my luck too far. Perhaps I was a bit too, uh, comfortable near the Commander?_

_**TA-0973:** Comfortable? You seemed terrified, if you ask me. You could ask for a temporary transfer while he’s aboard the Finalizer. A few other technicians and officers have done so in the past. Usually you are placed in a different department that way the likelihood of interacting with him is low._

_**TE-8500:** I don’t think it’s that simple. Are you off-duty where we can talk? I need some advice._

_**TA-0973:** Yeah. Sure._

You put aside your datapad and ran your hands down the length of your face. You were quite uncertain how you were going to broach the subject, and yet you needed to discuss it with someone. TE-1346 would normally have been your confidant, however he had been temporarily transferred to Starkiller Base. Standing, you started to pace the room whilst sorting through various trains of thought. It was not as though you needed to be explicit. No need to be outright crude. And what of the fact that Kylo Ren had made that comment—that TA-0973 was attempting to seduce you?

_Maybe this is a bad idea…_

At the sound of a knock on your door, you were drawn out of your thoughts. You pushed the button to open the door, greeted Tom with a shy wave, and stepped back to permit him entrance. He did not enter immediately, his eyes darting about as though he was unsure whether or not it would be wise for him to enter. In the end, however, he crossed the line into your quarters. You could not keep yours eyes from roaming over his features. He was attractive, a fact you had dismissed when he was no longer in your sight.

“H-hey.” You pinched at the material of your pants. TA-0973 nodded, making a gesture to indicate he was waiting to listen to what you needed to say. “So…uhm… For… When I said comfortable with the Commander… I didn’t understand—those were his words. And then…earlier…today… So, you could, uhm… You could refer to me as Sixty-nine and it would be accurate…if you get what I’m saying.”

His lips parted and his jaw dropped. Tom’s eyebrows rose before a swear tore itself from him. “With the Commander?” he growled out, balling a hand into a fist. “That’s… He’s _dangerous_ , Tatety.”

“I know! Okay, I know…” You took a step backwards. Though Tom appeared frustrated and in some respects angry, you knew you had nothing to fear from him. Judging by his posture and his words, he seemed to have your best interest in heart. “It was… _really_ stupid. I was just caught up in the moment in the hall, and—“

“Kriff, Tatey, in the hallway!?” His eyes were beyond wide. You felt your entire body heating up in embarrassment. “Did anyone see you?”

“I don’t think so?” you said, your voice small. “I just… I really don’t even know how it happened. It felt so…so surreal. And now… Now I don’t know what to do. I mean, he may not even want to do anything more…or if he does… I don’t know. He hasn’t exactly been the nicest to me…and with my responsibilities handed by General Hux, I don’t think I can just put in for a transfer.”

 _I don’t even know if I want a transfer,_ you thought. You sank onto the edge of your bed, your eyes glued to Tom’s feet. He started to pace your room. The two of you faced one another when a knock sounded on your door. A rather stern knock, if knocks could have temperaments. _Who would be…?_ You walked past TA-0973, carefully opening the door at a slow pace, although not too slow as to allow the person on the other side to realize you were hesitating.

When at last the door was fully opened, you felt as though a rock had lodged itself in the pit of your stomach. A hundred-pound rock that was anchoring you in place as you dumbly gaped at the sight of the general. His eyes lifted from your face to instead inspect the other party in the room. The redhead uttered Tom’s designation prior to giving him an order to leave. Your companion knew better than to disobey, especially given his recent demotion. You felt your legs locking up as the man walked by you. This could not be as bad as the time with Kylo Ren in the Command Shuttle though, you tried to console yourself.

General Hux strode into the room without further ado. You noticed the datapad that was in his hand; his duty one. “Close the door, technician.” His tone was level, though you had expected nothing less. You obeyed him without question, also walking to his side when he demanded this of you. The redhead placed the datapad on your bed, hit a few icons, and scrolled through to pull up a sort of video feed. He hit the play button and you paled considerably. General Hux crossed his arms behind himself as he angled his body, capable of observing both the holovid and your reaction to it.

_“Do you think I would fuck you as though you were my equal? Just a technician…replacable.”_

When you shot back with your insult, calling Kylo Ren an ass, you flinched both on the video and in person. You pressed your legs against one another, trying to keep from fainting as you watched things unfold.

_“I…I don’t want to have sex in the hallway.”_

You did not know how he could stand there beside you; General Hux tilted his head a fraction to the left, pressed his lips together, and pursed them forward a bit. His gaze was on your face whilst on the holovid you were grinding against Kylo Ren. The Commander’s utterance of _faster, technician_ had you gulping.

 _“Iwanttosuckyouwhileyoueatmeout.”_ It sounded whorish now that you listened to it. Desperate. Kylo Ren’s teasing.

“S-sir, I—“

“Watch the video, TE-8500.” You winced, unable to argue. Telling Kylo Ren you would be a dirty girl for him after he brought you to orgasm. Your stomach swam at the sight of him eating you out, of you swallowing his cock. When Kylo Ren had you pinned down and was fucking your breasts, General Hux clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. It was as Kylo Ren was cumming that the redhead hit the _end_ button, shutting off the video. He raised a hand, placing the tips of three of his fingers against his forehead. “Tatey-five… Do I need to explain to you what hallways are for?”

“I don’t even know what happened, sir!”

“Shall I replay the video?”

“Kriff, no!” Your eyes were as wide as saucers and you appeared rather flabbergasted. “I just… Sir, I didn’t…I am _not_ like that…ever.”

“Except for on the video, technician?”

“Well…technically?” You brushed back some of your hair. “General, I—“

“Your size kink is duly noted, however you should be aware that having sex in the hallways of the _Finalizer_ is not permitted…whether you’re on duty or not.”

“S-size kink?” You snorted. “I don’t have a size kink.” He gave you a look, quirking a single eyebrow, and you remembered instantly how you had referred to him as _Big_ when you had seen his cock. You cleared your throat. “Sir, that’s… I mean, I like Tom, and I don’t even know what his dick size is, so—“

“TA-0973?” You slammed your mouth shut. General Hux heaved a sigh. “For one so adept at her job, you are rather clumsy in all other aspects.”

“Please don’t send me to reconditioning, sir.”

“For being sexually aware?” You opened your mouth to respond, however he cut you off easily as he continued. “For fucking in the hallways? For telling your Commander how much of a dirty girl you will be for him?” He leaned forward so that his face was in yours. “Do not sully my ship, technician.”

“I’m sorry! I don’t mean to! The Command Shuttle, and—“

“What the kriff did you do to the Command Shuttle?”

“Uhm…nothing. Nothing really, Sir General Hux Sir.”

“Tatety-five?”

“Yes.”

“When do you refer to me as Sir General Hux Sir?”

“Erm…when I have greatly displeased you or am in trouble?”

“I was under the impression that we were having a civilized discussion of your crude behavior. Outlining boundaries. So: what could you have possibly done to the Command Shuttle that would invoke my anger?”

“Uh…well…I tried to masturbate on it.”

General Hux’s shoulders drooped, and he cocked his head, blinking at you. “You…masturbated on the Command Shuttle?”

“Well, I started to, but I didn’t finish, so…” You waved a hand in the air. “I fell asleep instead. Commander Ren gave me a warning.” He waited a moment before inquiring as to when this incident had occurred, and you replied truthfully. “Uhm…are you…are you going to dispose of the video, sir?”

“It should technically be placed in your file.”

“You _really_ don’t need to do that, sir. No one should see that unless they were planning to masturbate to it, and no one…should…”

_Hello foot: meet mouth…_

“You need not look at my cock, technician.” You jerked your eyes up to his face. “I did not masturbate to the video. However: due to its surprising content, I am short a mug.” General Hux lifted up his datapad and tucked it under his arm. “Due to the video, I do have to inform you that your suspension has been extended a day. Also: you will refrain from having members of the opposite gender in your room—are you bisexual?”

“…you’re…grounding me, sir?”

“No, TE-8500, I am punishing you as befits your actions. Reprimanding you. Grounding you would give one the impression that I was your parent. Am I your daddy, technician?” He must have realized how vulgar his wording was the moment he spoke the words, for his cheeks heated up nearly as much as yours. Both of you averted your gazes from one another. General Hux cleared his throat. “You understand the consequences, am I correct in that understanding?”

“Yes, sir.” _Big daddy,_ your mind snickered.

“Eyes _up_ , technician,” he hissed, making a jerking motion with his hand. The man turned sharply on his heel, exiting your quarters.

_Fuck, man…I do have a size kink…_


	13. Chapter 13

Safety: You’ve Got the Wrong Type

You had been rummaging through your drawers when you had stumbled upon it. Your eyes had widened by the smallest amount, your eyebrows had drawn upwards, and a hum had escaped you. You had then reached into the drawer, pulled out the object, and released a squeak of delight. Jumping to your feet, you pattered out of the room in what could almost have been labeled a half-skip. You were humming cheerfully to yourself, though you kept your voice low so as to not be overheard. You clutched the object to your chest, ducking around corners and searching. Your eyes darting here and there. Narrowing every so often until at last you spotted it—him, you corrected yourself. It would be unfair and inhumane to label the general of the First Order an _it_.

It was a little known fact to those who did not work close by to him that the general, who slept only as much as necessary to keep his body going, took catnaps in random locations aboard the _Finalizer_. Often he lost consciousness whilst sitting with his datapad in his lap, scrolling through information and relaying what needed to be done. Seeing as how said object _was_ in his lap while his head was lolled backwards, a light snore issuing from him, it was a safe bet to assume that this was what had once more occurred. You lifted yourself up onto your tip-toes, closing the distance between yourself and the slumbering man as sweat started to gather on the back of your neck.

He wrinkled his nose in his sleep, however did not stir other than that as you set the sealed box beside him. You ensured that it would not be pushed to the ground, which would cause the contents to shatter. In that case, your gesture of good will would be transformed into the bane of your existence.

You pursed your lips, exhaling quietly, and turned on your heel. You collided with a familiarly solid individual, whose helmet was pointed in the direction of your face. Or what could be seen of it. “A hat, technician?” Mocking, as you had come to expect. Yes, technically you _were_ still suspended, and thus there was no reason for you to be decked out in your more formal technician attire complete with a hat. You simply felt like wearing it was all. Thus you bit back a scowl, having no desire to anger him, and resisted the urge to place your finger to your lips in a quieting motion. Your eyes darted to the slumbering general. “Your level of boredom is astounding.”

_So is that a compliment, or…?_

Kylo Ren stepped around you, his arm brushing against yours. You looked over your shoulder, watching the man as he spoke the general’s title and name, which caused the redhead to jerk awake. General Hux squinted at Kylo Ren. His gaze must have caught on the box to his side, however, for he turned to it rather than offer his attention to the other for long. He lifted the box, and you started to scuttle away. General Hux barked out your nickname. Wincing, you halted, bunched up your shoulders, and twisted around. The box was balanced on the palm of your superior’s hand.

“S-sir, I—“

“I assume this is a replacement for the one that broke?” You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak without stuttering again. General Hux twisted his wrist, his eyes traveling along the front of the box, the hole giving him a generous view of the mug. “It will do. Though you are on suspension, do not neglect your duties with the machine.”

“Understood, sir.” Throughout this exchange, Kylo Ren did not look your way again. His hands were curled into fists at his sides, his visor directed on the redhead’s face. You left the two of them alone, walking in the direction of the anti-gravity machine. The truth of the matter was that you _had_ forgotten that it was due for a routine checkup. Grateful that he had seen fit to remind you at all, you set about completing your sole duty for the day.

You entered the cafeteria for lunch in a rather pleasant mood. You had been informed that Squeakers would be returned to you shortly before sleep cycle. On top of that, Tom and you had passed one another in a hallway, and he had asked if you were opposed to speaking with him later. He seemed happy enough, nothing awkward between the two of you. Not to mention the fact that Kylo Ren had not made another appearance. No awkwardness or tension. Perhaps a quick romp was all either of you two had needed from one another.

Grabbing hold of a tray, you slid down the line and began to load up your plate. An egg-salad sandwich, a nutritional shake for your other vitamins and vegetables, and a small treat for desert. It was not much, really, and yet in certain ways it was more than they served on other days. You carried your tray out of the cafeteria, having previously asked permission to eat in your quarters. Thus in little time you were seated in the center of your room, your tray of food on one side, your datapad on the other, and two manuals opened before you.

During your suspension, you had decided to once more apply for a position to work with the TIEs. You had not forgotten what Kylo Ren had told you, and yet at the same time you could not deny that you still _yearned_ to have a ship you were solely responsible for. Or the highest authority for. Such as Tom had been with the Command Shuttle—this thought caused you to wince. You reached to your side, grabbed hold of your sandwich, and took a bite. Chewing, you flipped the page of the manual and made another notation on your datapad. A chime distracted you from reading. You ran your tongue over your lips, sipping on your drink while scanning over the message.

_**TA-0973:** Rumor has it that General Hux is drinking from a different mug today. Which would not mean much if it weren’t for the fact that said mug apparently has a picture of a ginger cat wearing a First Order officer’s hat. Those, if I recall, were limited edition for technicians. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about this?_

_**TE-8500:** What are you implying? Feeling kind of attacked here._

_**TA-0973:** You gave it to him, didn’t you? I am trying to figure out why._

_**TE-8500:** Oh! Well, yes. I did give him the mug due to the fact that one of his others broke because of an incident I am involved with._

You blinked twice, remembering that you had already confided in Tom regarding the sixty-nine incident in the hallway. Your fingers began dancing across the keys once more.

_**TE-8500:** I forgot I had told you. So, apparently there was video feed about the, uh, special meeting with the Commander. General Hux was startled by it, somehow broke his mug, and so I gave him that one to replace it._

_**TA-0973:** I am going to be honest with you here, Tatey. I am jealous of both our superiors right now._

Your cheeks were hot. And here you had not even told him of General Hux’s accusation that you had a size kink. Nor was Tom privy to the fact that you had ogled the general’s genitals. Unsure how to respond to his message, you took another bite of your sandwich. Tom was attractive, you noted. He was kind to you, more than hinted that he was attracted to you. A knock on your door caused you to jump. With a frown, you set down the last bite of your sandwich onto your tray, clicked out of the message center, and rose to your feet. You stretched your arms above your head prior to opening the door.

“Ah…Sir?”

General Hux lifted the rim of the cup to his lips, taking a sip of his coffee. His datapad was tucked underneath his arm, a single eyebrow raised as he stared at you. You shifted from one leg to the other, waiting for him to speak. His eyes, however, were busily wandering about your helmet. You wondered if he had failed to notice it earlier, or if he was simply surprised you were still wearing it. The redhead lowered the mug, stepped into your quarters—you quickly took a step back in order to allow him room to enter—and walked over to your makeshift work area.

“Kylo Ren has lodged a complaint against you.” Your heart felt as though it had stopped beating, as though it had lodged itself in your throat. General Hux nudged the edge of one of the manuals with the toe of his boot. “He does not wish for you to be involved with the TIEs.” His eyes met your face as he twisted at his torso. “I am inclined to agree with his assessment that you would be too easily injured if placed in such a position.”

“Sir, I—“

“The vessel itself, as well as the pilot. The only TIEs currently in need of technicians belong to a few of our more aggressive pilots. If you have had issues with the stormtroopers and officers—as I am certain you have—then you would soon find yourself eaten up by the pilots.” To say that you felt deflated would have been an understatement. General Hux, meanwhile, drank more from the cup you had given him. He then cleared his throat. “Technician, your abilities have not been overlooked, as I am certain your other superiors have informed you. You were given certain responsibilities for a reason.”

“Y-yes, sir. I… I do understand that. It _is_ an honor, general. I just…”

“Thrive on danger?” He had once more quirked an eyebrow. You paused, tilted your head to the side, and started to shake your head before pausing immediately. “This is not the first time you have applied for one of the more demanding positions offered to a technician of your rank. And, for the record, let us bring into consideration your…interactions with Ren. Clearly you thrive on the danger. Masturbating on the Command Shuttle…” General Hux allowed his voice to trail off.

You sighed, trying to remain standing at attention as best as possible. “Perhaps, sir. It does sound…accurate.”

He nodded curtly. “The Commander and I have agreed that, should you be capable of proving able to contain yourself under pressure, you will be assigned to a stormtrooper transport. Not exactly the position you have been seeking, however it does offer you that extra bit of responsibility you seem to be looking for.”

“I would be…very pleased, sir.”

“Very good. One of the Knights of Ren—whatever the kriff his name is—received an eye injury during training. At dinner, you are to assist him in the cafeteria when it comes to picking out his food…given that we are having taco salads, and there are a few aboard this vessel known to contaminate the food.” You blinked, a mixture of feelings running though you. Yes, you wanted more than anything to be able to work on a ship of your own. Yet a Knight of Ren? That was huge pressure—especially if Kylo Ren had said _anything_ to his comrade regarding the hallway incident. “I will see to it that the appropriate manuals are sent your way should you succeed tonight.”

“Thank you…sir.”

“Don’t sound so…enthusiastic, technician,” he said, his lips tugging down into a frown.

You bit down on your bottom lip, pressed your legs towards one another, and scratched at your right wrist. “It’s just…a big responsibility, sir.”

“If I remember correctly, Tatey-five, you happen to enjoy _big_ things.” Your mouth dropped open. Smirking, General Hux lifted the cup to his lips once more. “Am I wrong?” When you did not answer immediately, he once more lowered the cup. This time, he was frowning. “Have I given you reason to question my judgment, technician?”

“Er…” You grasped at straws and found one. “Well, sir, you told me that I am to refrain from having members of the opposite gender in my quarters…but you’re here, and—“

“I was referring to any with whom you would potentially engage in sexual intercourse with. You and I, Tatey-five, are _not_ having sex.” You felt your eyes drop, your gaze drawn downwards to the crotch of his pants. General Hux shifted the datapad from underneath his arm into his hand, placing the electronic over his front and thus blocking your view. “I do not take you for one who would sleep her way into a new position. Be that as it may, it is already noted—in a part of your file visible to _few_ —that you have had sexual relations with a superior. Now—“

“I, uh, confided in Tom about that, sir.”

“You are…tactless, technician.” His thumb twitched against the datapad, the leather of his glove tapping the edge of the device. “Are you aware of the consequences of your decision to talk of such matters?”

“I…I am not eligible for…any sort of…promotion…am I?”

“That is reliant upon whether or not TA-0973 has spoken to anyone else of the matter. I will be speaking with him at a later time to confirm. In the meanwhile, it has baffled me, Tatey.” He paused long enough for you to utter out his title. “It may be inappropriate.” You sucked your lips into your mouth, biting down on them before nodding for him to continue. “I am aware that you are no virgin, and yet I cannot help but remember how it was that you referred to my cock as…plumbing. Furthermore, you stated to have never seen one so—I believe I had cut you off at this point, however I believe it is safe to assume you had never seen a large dick. Which also explains your reactions to Ren.” You started to lower your gaze to the floor. “Is your relationship with Ren… Or Tom, even… Technician, are you currently in a committed relationship?”

“Are you…are you asking…to have sex with me, sir?”

“This has nothing to do with your chances at advancing, Tatey, if you are believing it to be such. Perhaps…I am currently being less tactful than I would normally approve of, and yet the opening has presented itself.”

“Uhm…like now?”

“So, you _are_ open to having sexual relations with me, technician?” He was not your direct superior in many respects. You reported to other technicians; and, if kept casual, no one could say anything. Unless you suddenly started gaining a multitude of promotions, which you weren’t exactly after anyhow. You shook your head in affirmation. General Hux set his datapad off to the side on one of the bedside tables, his mug following suit. He then gestured to your helmet. “You may remove that first.”

“It’s, uhm, for safety reasons, sir.”

“Yes, however it is not the sort of protection one requires when having sex.”

“I don’t know, sir. I have slammed my head before…” You cleared your throat upon noticing that he had started to smirk, his eyes running up and down your body. “I really… I have been flirting with Tom. I should…I’ll tell him… What should I tell him, sir?”

“Hmm. I suppose discretion is what we are aiming for. That you are unavailable should suffice.” The redhead had placed his hands on the front of his pants, working them open. You ran your tongue over your lips, eyeing him hungrily. “Are you honestly insisting on the helmet?” You hesitated, prompting him to use your real name. Then, with shaky hands, you reached up and slowly removed the object from your head. “How do you want this?”

“Vaginally, sir.” He stopped dead in his movements. “Oh! Did you mean, like…on the bed…or floor…that sort of thing?”

“Given that I am aware only of your experience in a _hallway_ , technician: yes.” General Hux freed his cock and started to stroke himself. “Also, an inclusion of oral would be preferred.” You shrugged out of the outer layer of your uniform, kicked off your shoes, and walked closer to the man. Sinking down onto your knees, you gingerly raised a hand and wrapped your fingers around his cock. His eyelids fluttered, a ragged breath escaping him. You leaned forward, eagerly wrapping your lips around the head of his cock and swiping your tongue along his slit.

Much as it had been with Kylo Ren, you found that you could not contain your moans. You bobbed your head, engulfing more and more of him, taking him deeper into your mouth, down your throat. He was slightly thicker than Ren, yet a little shorter in length. It made for a nice balance. His hand wove into your hair, the man bucking up his hips, fucking your mouth as he released grunts and groans. You cupped his sac, running your thumb along him and feeling yourself growing wet at the thought of him being inside of you.

General Hux set a hand against your cheek, hooking his thumb forward so that he could catch your jaw, pulling away; his cock slipped free of your mouth. You licked your lips, eyeing it and pressing your legs tightly together. Rubbing your thighs against one another. He was pushing his pants down lower and gesturing for you to rise. You obeyed immediately. Once on your feet, you shimmied out of your bottoms and tossed your top off to the side. The redhead shoved you onto your bed. He hooked your legs over his arm, pressing them together whilst rocking his hips into yours. Tears filled the corners of your eyes at the sensation of him moving up into you. You had never felt so full before. Your jaw dropped open, and you panted underneath him.

“Fuck…Kriff, you’re tight.” He allowed his head to loll back, visibly enjoying feeling of being inside of you. “It’s been a while for you, hasn’t it?”

“Mm…never this good, sir,” you replied honestly. A swear tore itself from him, his eyes whipping onto your face. General Hux wrapped your legs around his waist, climbing on to of you in full so that his mouth could tackle your neck while his hands grasped at your chest. You took hold of his shoulders, under the impression that he would not want his hair mussed up this time. You met his thrusts. He stretched you so wonderfully, his cock brushing your inner walls in such smooth caresses that you felt your entire body thrumming. He soon dropped a hand down between your body and his, stroking your clit. You gulped thickly, your body trembling as you came around him, tugging from him his orgasm as well. General Hux rocked into you a few times more, waiting until he had fully spilled himself inside of you before withdrawing.

Panting, sweat gathered on his brow, the man shifted onto the edge of your bed and sat down beside you. “Fuck, Tatey…”

“You just did, sir,” you said breathlessly. The man swore, setting a hand against his forehead. _Well, **I** think I’m pretty funny. _“So…so…this is like…friends with benefits?”__

__“Friends…” he muttered. You winced, opening your mouth to rephrase when he cut you off. “That is applicable in this case.” Your stomach swam with a rush of feelings. “Kriff, you felt nice. We shall…work out the exact details of this…arrangement…over time.”_ _

__“Yes, sir.” There was silence between the two of you, followed by: “We can technically use the line of my needing to check your plumbing—and it would be discreet because I have…in both senses.”_ _

__“Why the kriff is that endearing?” He had a rather sour expression on his face. General Hux eyed you for a few seconds before speaking again. “Technician, I am going to excuse myself.”_ _

__“Because you’re banned from my room…by your own orders…since you’re a guy…and we had sex.”_ _

__“Not exactly, Titty-five, not—“_ _

__“What?” You sat up quickly simultaneous to the man rising to his feet. “Did you just… Who else calls me that?”_ _

__“Only the members of the triumvirate that I am aware. The name stuck, I am afraid.”_ _

__“That’s dreadful. Not from that guy! Ugh… Even Ren? Kylo Ren calls me ‘Titty-five’?”_ _

__“Today it was ‘dirty girl’.” The man was tugging up his zipper. You scowled, crossed your arms over your chest, and huffed. “I will refrain from either if you so wish.”_ _

__“I do so wish,” you snapped._ _

__“Do not forget: the cafeteria this evening. I will speak with TA-0973 in the meanwhile… And refrain from wearing the helmet. It distracted Ren.” You blinked multiple times, even as the man picked up his mug and datapad, and left your quarters._ _


	14. Chapter 14

The Line: Between Love and Hate

Had you been aware that having sex with General Hux also meant that you could, at the end of the day, curl your feet up on his lap when the two of you were in the privacy of his quarters—that he would begin rubbing them without realizing it as he sorted through information on his datapad—well, you have fucked him sooner. Your body was curled around his, your stomach aligned with his hip, and your eyes closed as you enjoyed the foot rub. After the stress of dealing with a grumpy temporarily vision impaired Knight of Ren, you were all the more pleased to be pampered in this manner.

 _Then again,_ you thought while grinning like an idiot, _the Knight was so much easier to deal with than the Master of the Knights of Ren. Commander Ren is…so difficult._

General Hux murmured something under his breath. You did not care to figure out what he had said; likely it had to do with his work. Instead you reached for your own datapad, which you had brought so as to read some information on the transport shuttles you could possibly be handling in the near future. Hundreds to thousands of technicians worked daily on the _Finalizer_ ; only so many, however, were assigned to each individual ship within. A transport shuttle was more common, quite like a TIE, and yet not nearly as complicated as other shuttles you had hoped to handle. Still, it was a foot in the door, so to speak.

Your superior had informed you, when you had entered his quarters after receiving an invite, that TA-0973 had been discreet in that he had not revealed your actions with Kylo Ren to anyone else. Nor did he plan to; not that you had ever believed otherwise, however it had still been rather pleasant to hear. A small part of you was displeased with the fact that you would have to inform him that you were not longer available for any sort of romantic or sexual relationship, at least for the time being. It was not that General Hux believed he had any claim over you; you understood his desire for things to be exclusive for the time being as a means to prevent any STDs or other such unpleasantness. That, the two of you had discussed as well, shortly before he had started to rub your feet.

Ultimately, he was your superior, the general of the First Order. He also admitted to feeling a certain level of liking when it came to you personally. Thus, he concluded, the term ‘friend’ would be sufficient and accurate; though, he urged that this not be spread. You had then stated that you had no urges to do so, at which point he had nodded. When it came to the physical aspect of things, the two of you could indulge with one another so long as it never interfered with work. This you agreed with immediately. The arrangement was nice, not having to worry about wooing anyone, nor any emotional baggage. You were having a difficult enough time with Commander Ren, and it was not as though the two of you were in any sort of relationship—at least, you did not think so.

You blinked twice at that thought. General Hux gave your feet another few rubs and then lifted his hand away from your limbs. Knitting your brow, you allowed your mind to wander over your various interactions with the Master of the Knights of Ren. He had seemed almost intrigued by you during that incident in the refresher; in no way had he been obligated to hand you the toilet paper. He had had every opportunity to leave, to make it to where you had to endure worse embarrassments. And then he always seemed to discourage your attraction to him, but that incident in the hallway—he had instigated it.

You drew your feet off of the general’s lap, rolled onto your other side, and stared at the wall of the man’s quarters. Everything within was neat, orderly. Not that you had expected anything less. When you returned to your own quarters later, your roommate would be present. Hopefully, too, would your droid. You planned on checking over Squeakers to ensure that no repairs or tune-ups were needed.

Before you left his quarters, you found yourself graced with a number of hickeys on your chest, all of which could be covered by your uniform. You sighed in contentment as you entered your own quarters, your roommate quirking a brow and giving you a once-over. You would have to change in a refresher to ensure she did not see the markings, you thought to yourself. You then turned to your droid, who was indeed waiting for you at your bedside. Your mood only improved all the more; the unpleasantness of the evening in regards to the Knight had at last faded entirely.

The following three days proceeded smoothly as well. Twice did General Hux meet with you in a secluded setting. The first time, he nudged Squeakers out the door with a booted foot and then promptly pinned you against a wall. You were a moaning mess that he had to consistently shush, his chuckles allowing you to know that he was in no way annoyed. The man kissed his way down your body, burying his face between your legs. You scrambled to hold onto something—anything—to prevent yourself from mussing up his hair. Throwing your head back, you hissed in pain. It was then that the redhead muttered that he could at last see what you meant about your uniform helmet coming in handy. Not that you registered his words at the time; you were so overcome by both the pain in your head and the pleasure thrumming between your legs as he returned to work, his tongue laving over every centimeter of you.

After you had cum, he had quickly turned you around so that you could brace yourself against the wall as he fucked you from behind. You bit down on your wrist to keep from screaming in pure ecstasy. Your superior kissed the side of your neck, grunting and groaning as he came inside of you.

The second time, he shooed Squeakers away, and your droid obediently listened to the general. You were on your knees, his cock practically down your throat. When he went to reciprocate, you asked instead for another foot rub. This had caused him pause, however the man smiled good-naturedly and promised to oblige later in the evening. He did not disappoint.

It was as you were leaving the man’s quarters that you ran into the individual you had not seen for those three days. The two Knights of Ren had turned and were walking away from the Master of the Knights. You felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Kylo Ren, sans helmet, turned his head in your direction. His face was a mask of indifference, those brown orbs sweeping along your body and then darting towards the direction you had come from. You were a technician; you weren’t supposed to be here—except you were a technician, your mind screamed. There was plenty of work to be done in this sector of the ship!

“Such a guilty expression, technician,” he said, furrowing his brow and taking a step in your direction. You tensed up further, your heart starting to race. The way he came towards you, like a predator on the prowl. You swallowed thickly and remained as still as you could. “Despite what was noted in your file…a convenience for him—no, for the both of you.” His eyes pinched, and you dropped your gaze down to the floor. His body nearly enveloped yours as he stepped ever closer. Though your mind screamed, you did not move in retreat. That would have been a mistake, you well knew. “The surveillance… He saw— _you_ watched it as well, did you not?” You muttered out a _Yes, sir_. His hands were in your line of view. Those leather-clad limbs were not clenched into fists this time. His voice ventured on the edge of curiosity. “What did you think, when you heard your own desperation?”

Rather than wait for you to speak, instead of giving you the chance to tell him, Kylo Ren lifted a hand and held it beside your head. You flinched, grimacing at the tendrils flowing through your mind, grasping. Snatching up the information contained within, anything he wanted to know. The shame, the return of arousal upon watching the two of you touching one another. Kylo Ren pulled back, dropping his hand and turning away from you. You faltered three steps backwards, catching yourself with your hands flat against the wall.

“Whorish,” he said, repeating the term you had thought in regards to your own actions while you watched the holovid of the incident. “Desperate.” Now his hands were curling into fists, loose ones. “And now you play with him. The two of you… ‘I’ll be a dirty girl for you’—a generic statement it seems.”

Before you could respond to him at all, Kylo Ren strode away from you. You stared at his back. Heart beating loudly in your ears, the impression that he was _jealous_ —what a ridiculous thought, you chastised yourself. You shook off all feelings, robotically moving as you made your way back to your quarters. There Squeakers awaited you, the droid chirping happily when you entered. Your roommate groaned, turning over in her bed. Two bunks were going to be placed; it was standard procedure for rooms to seem as though they shrunk as the crew expanded. Officers, technicians, pilots rotating in and out.

You readied for sleep cycle, climbed into bed, and shut out the lights. But you could not fall asleep.

 _He can’t honestly be jealous… It’s not like…_ You shook your head, rolling over onto your other side. _Ownership, maybe…he could be jealous if he believes he owns me. **His** dirty girl. That’s…it isn’t what I meant._

You reached over the side of the bed to trail your fingers along the top of Squeakers. The droid shifted to acknowledge your touch, yet remained silent given the current hour. You pulled your covers up over your head, dragged your datapad out from underneath your pillow, and opened up the messaging center. It was informal, and yet you did not know what else to do.

_**TE-8500** : Sir, Kylo Ren is aware of our current arrangement. He seemed…almost angry. I do not know how to proceed._

You stared at the screen in anticipation. Impatience. General Hux did not sleep often; he should be awake. You _needed_ him to be awake. The icon popped up, and you felt yourself release a breath you had been holding.

_**General Hux** : Report to me first thing in the morning. I will be awaiting your presence on the bridge. Forgo breakfast. This is a direct order._

_**TE-8500** : Yes, sir._

You stared at the messages between yourself and the general. Nothing would happen until tomorrow. There would no relief. No—a new message popped up, this one from a different sender. You tapped on it, your blood freezing in your veins.

_**Kylo Ren** : This is what you do to me, technician._

Attached to the message was a video, which began to play. Your eyes were wide as saucers. The image of Kylo Ren’s lap, of his hand brushing aside his robes and opening his pants to free his cock, which was already hardening. His hand working furiously along his length. His hips bucking up into his touch. Thumb swirling along the tip. Faster—his pace slowing a bit, as though dragging out his pleasure. And then he was chasing orgasm. That milky white substance, the sight of him cumming causing your mouth to water, your underwear to become wet. You furiously tapped the exit icon and then shoved the datapad back underneath your pillow.

You remained underneath your blankets, wrapped in the darkness.

The man did not even know you, and yet he was _obsessed_.


	15. Chapter 15

Management: You’re Under It

It was early morning, the start of day cycle, and your orders were to go directly to the bridge. Yet your roommates had left, and you had tugged your blanket over your head, opened the messaging center, and stared to watch the video that had been sent to you. You pressed your thighs together, swallowing hard and watching the man masturbate. No one had ever sent you such a video. Especially no one of power like Kylo Ren. Your heart raced in your chest, and your mind sorted through a variety of emotions, pride among them. _You_ did this to him. A split-second later, your grin faltered and you blinked.

“How?” you asked, shaking your head and exiting out of the video. You slid your datapad back underneath your pillow, climbed out form under the covers, and quickly dressed. General Hux would likely be upset that you were late at all—although perhaps he would worry that you had been accosted by Ren on the way. Unless, of course, Kylo Ren was also on the bridge. “Damn…”

Squeakers chirped at you, the droid pleasant and ready for the day. You glanced its way. If only you could possess such enthusiasm. As it was, your stomach was starting to churn with all the stress and worry you were experiencing. You wondered if you should delete the video that had been sent your way, or if you should show it to the general. Deleting it, naturally, would erase evidence of his Kylo Ren’s intentions—whatever those were.

You started to slip on your helmet then paused. Lifting your eyes to the object that was inches away from the top of your head, you huffed out a sigh. You tugged the helmet on your head. Worst case: you now had protection if you were thrown against a wall. Also worst case: Kylo Ren was going to follow you around like a lust-sick Knight of Ren. You were flattered, in a way, however you despised the way he thought he could treat you. It would be one thing if you were like any other technician or officer to him. But no, he apparently wanted to pursue…well, _something_. The thing was, you were already in a friends-with-benefits relationship with General Hux. You did not need an abuse-me-fuck-me-as-you-please roller coaster with the Force user. No matter how big his cock was.

Before leaving your quarters, you looked to Squeakers. You held up a hand, indicating that the droid should remain behind, and Squeakers released a noise of disappointment. You winced. “Sorry…but it’s probably safer.” As though it understood at least some of the deeper meaning behind what you were saying, the little droid perked up and chirped at you, stating that it would see if anything within your room needed repairs for when you returned. You nodded, offered Squeakers a smile, and at last exited your quarters.

Though you were no stranger to the bridge, it was not as though your line of work took you to that occasion very often. You thought back to that fateful day you had been given the unfortunate nickname of ‘Titty-five’; and to think your superiors sometimes used that! How embarrassing, you thought with a frown.

You were delayed by a stormtrooper, who thought it would be quit hilarious to yank a few tools out of your bag and play keep away. A number of the officers who saw this display looked on with vague amusement or else ignored the display entirely. This was the norm, you reminded yourself as you tried to swallow down your sense of annoyance. At long last, however, you rolled your eyes and decided to leave behind the tool. The stormtrooper had visibly frozen, the man calling after you with a tangible amount of confusion lacing his voice. He hurried after you, shoving the tools into your hands and trying to reassure you that it had all been in good fun.

“Yeah, well, my orders are to meet with the general ASAP,” you snapped. This caused him to tense up further. You had the impression that he was sweating under the armor he wore. “I won’t report you. Just go away.” Never before had you spoken so boldly to one of your tormenters. Yet it was all _nothing_ in comparison to your interactions with Kylo Ren. You turned away from the baffled ‘trooper, tucked your tools back into their proper place, and once more started to make your way for the bridge. The officers on the bridge paid you no heed, each busy with his or her own work. General Hux stood in the center of the bridge; his arms were crossed behind his back, which was facing you. You shyly cleared your throat. “Uhm…sir.” The redhead turned his head, looking over his shoulder at you as you drew up to his side. “I apologize for being—“

“The issue at hand is not the reason for your lateness, is it?” It took you half a second to interpret his meaning. Ren. He was asking if Ren had managed to intercept you on your way.

“No, general,” you replied. “A…the usual.”

“Stormtrooper or officer?” You replied with the former, and he gave a sharp nod of acknowledgement. You retained an air of professionalism as you stood beside your superior; inwardly, you were devolving into a panicked mess, wondering if and when Kylo Ren was going to show up. You were uncertain how, exactly, General Hux planned to address the situation. He did not say anything in regards to it, the man instead addressing the officers on the bridge to be updated on the status of various aspects of the vessel. You trailed along after him when he would move a fraction of an inch, nearly crashing into the man each time he paused. Several times you felt eyes darting to you. No doubt everyone was wondering what a technician was doing hovering near the general as you were.

Your eyes darted about as the man continued to ignore the metaphorical bantha in the room. The more time that went by, the more your nerves were agitated. Your stomach churned again, possibly loud enough for the entire bridge to hear. You were happy that you had not eaten anything, although a slice of toast could not have hurt much.

_Hopefully I’ll get a snack or something…even if I throw it right back up, maybe it’ll take away at least some of the acid._

When the man began walking towards the exit, obviously intending to leave the bridge, you knit your brow yet followed him all the same. Why he had had you come to here there, you did not know. Perhaps to keep an eye on you the entire first portion of your morning? Maybe to see if Ren would go to the bridge for the purpose of seeing you? You frowned as your mind raced through a multitude of possibilities. The moment there were no other individuals within earshot, the redhead at last turned his head and spoke to you again:

“How, exactly, did Ren respond?” You paused for but a moment, recalling to mind the manner in which Kylo Ren had reacted to you emerging from General Hux’s quarters. You gave him as detailed an account as you could, attempting to quote the Force user exactly. His expression remained stern throughout the entirety of you talking. “You claimed that he had sounded almost angry, and yet… It seems, technician, that _jealous_ would be a more accurate term.” There was something accusatory in his tone, as though he were displeased that you had not stated this explicitly in your message to him. You dropped your gaze to the floor. “Have you had any contact with him since?”

You swallowed hard, wishing you could bang your helmeted head against a wall. “Uhm…” Given his level of clearance, he could easily go through your messages, deleted or otherwise. It was not as though you could do a full memory dump on your datapad to prevent this either. “He sent me a message.”

“Specifics, technician.”

“Er…I could show you?” _No, you fucking idiot! Do **not** show the general a video of the Commander masturbating. The fuck is wrong with you!?_ You must have been making a face, for the man took a step back from you, tilting his head. There was something more cautious about his mannerisms.

“Is the message sexual in nature?” he asked, his voice clipped.

Your eyes drifted cielingward. “Er…yeah…definitely… I’d say, ‘Yeah’.”

“I am assuming it was more than a written message.” You pursed your lips and twitched your mouth back and forth, unsure exactly how to respond. “What format?”

“A, er, video.”

“Of?” You blinked twice at him and raised your eyebrows. “Fornication or masturbation, technician?” You snorted, caught yourself, and cleared your throat. “Masturbation,” General Hux stated before you could do more than open your mouth. You squinted, wondering what had given it away. The redhead swept his eyes along your helmet. “Forgo the helmet; I have already informed you that it distracts him.”

“Er…I figured…in case…helps prevent a head wound.”

“I sincerely doubt Ren will thrust you _away_ , Tatety.” You lifted a hand, cupping your throat. The man sighed, looking away from you as some stormtroopers made their rounds. “I underestimated his interest in you. It would be foolish to place you in a position where a transfer would be necessary, and yet—Ren seems to be accomplishing that by himself. You and I will…forgo sexual activities for the time being. Contact will not be ended; I am curious as to his reactions on this change alone.”

You bit the inside of your lip, trying to hold back your frustration. You were a grown woman, for stars’ sake! You did not need nor want your actions to be dictated by your superiors when it came to personal matters. And besides, you had been enjoying the sex…

“Does this mean no more foot rubs?” General Hux returned his full attention to you. “I mean…if I were to rub your shoulders, would—“

“We will find a suitable arrangement,” he said, uttering your name at the completion of his sentence. You relaxed considerably at that. “In the meantime, your training for working with the transport shuttle begins at the end of the week. I need to first be certain that Ren’s interest in you does not prove to be detrimental to your work…or his.”

That being said, the man strode forward and began heading down the hall. Having not been dismissed, you hurried along after him. He had a sure pace, which was nothing different than the norm. You found yourself falling into routine; you were working alongside a superior. No different than any other time you were intended to work with management. You had done that plenty of times. The main difference, of course, was that you never before had to worry about other members of management hunting after you.

As apparently Kylo Ren was doing; the black-clad figure marching up to General Hux and you. You froze stiff. Hux, meanwhile, slowed gradually before at last pausing in his steps as the Force user uttered out the man’s title and name. “Ren.” The taller man’s hands were twitching, his fingers curling into fists. “I was just informing TE-8500 of her training for the transport shuttle.”

“She hardly seems trustworthy. Unable to keep her mouth shut—and you plan to place her in charge of a shuttle?”

“Ren—“

“To claim you have no doubts would be a lie, general. Even now you must be nervous that your own relation with her will become gossip amongst your crew.” You began to feel insulted, only to recall that you had confided in Tom a number of times when it came to your interactions with Kylo Ren. Technically he should not have known of those things—stars, you should not have even done those things in the first place. General Hux’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “Perhaps she should be sent to reconditioning. Learn to keep her mouth shut.”

 _Fuck you, man! You wouldn’t be saying these things if…_ You started to hold your breath. Kylo Ren had transferred his attention from General Hux onto you. The redhead shifted to the left, blocking you from the other man.

“Your personal interest in her aside, I will take your words under advisement. I doubt reconditioning is necessary. She has learned from her mistake, and I will see to it that she does not repeat it. Simple training.” You could hear the smirk in his voice as he continued. “Perhaps it is simply that you inspire such fear in her that she seeks any form of comfort.”

Kylo Ren took a step back, drawing up to his full height. As though insulted by the words the redhead had spoken. _Does he not want me to be afraid of him…? But…that doesn’t make…sense… He… Isn’t he the one who said I was too comfortable around him? I don’t understand him…_

“See to it that she does not repeat the mistakes.” Kylo Ren turned to the right, heading down the hallway in that direction. You were not entirely sure where he was headed, if he had a destination in mind at all.

“He should be occupied for the remainder of the day,” General Hux said, twisting on his heel and looking at you in the face. “Complete your duties—you may first eat a light breakfast. We will see how things proceed from here.”

“Yes, sir,” you said. And then you were left alone, save for the occasional stormtrooper or officer who passed by. You gathered yourself together and began to walk in the direction of the cafeteria.

Your day consisted of little excitement after your nerve-wrecking morning. Squeakers was pleased to see you when you returned at the end of your shift. It was also more than happy to tell you of three loose screws in your room, which you were forced to tighten in order to get the droid to settle down. Your roommates had not yet returned. You patted the droid, sat on the edge of your bed, and reached for your datapad in order to read over the material that had previously been sent your way in order for you to become more familiar with the transport shuttle.

There was a message waiting for you. Your stomach began churning anew. The sender…

_Fuck, fuck, fuck…_

Wincing, unable to hold back your curiosity, you tapped on it.

_**Kylo Ren:** The helmet, technician…_

Followed by a picture of his tented pants.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

And yet it was less threatening, in its way…almost as though he was attempting to flirt with you.

But after what he had said! Threatening you with reconditioning! You glared at the picture, your arousal dwindling. You tapped _reply_ and began typing up a message.

_**TE-8500:** It is a part of my uniform, for safety purposes, sir._

You nodded to yourself, pleased with how professional you had sounded. There was also that underlying sassiness, though he could not exactly call you out on it—well, you reasoned, he _could_ , although you did not foresee him doing so. Whilst feeling proud of yourself, you sat up straighter…and fumbled with your datapad. Swearing, you managed to grab hold of it before it could flip completely out of your grasp and onto the floor. You set the datapad onto your lap, your hands cradling the device on either side, and then you felt your heart skip a beat.

_Requesting Video Conference with contact **Kylo Ren**._

“Noooo—G-good evening, sir. I, uhm, didn’t…mean to uh…call you…” He was wearing his helmet, his head tilted to the side in obvious confusion. “Uhm…bye, si—“

“Technician…” You winced when he spoke, knowing that you could not hang up on him without consequences. “You have not yet removed your helmet.” You trailed your fingers along the edge of said object. “I hadn’t realized your quarters were so dangerous.”

 _Is he flirting? Oh my stars, I think he’s flirting…what the hell do I do?_ You narrowed your eyes. _I should hang up on him…_

“Need to be prepared for anything, sir.” He said nothing in response, not even making a noise. You watched the image of him, chewing on your bottom lip and glancing sporadically towards your door in case any of your roommates returned. “Uhm, so… I… As I said…it was, uhm, an…uh…accident…that I…called you…”

 _Why did he even answer, for that matter?_ You paused in your thoughts when your ears picked up a sound. _Is he…? Is he really…?_

“S-sir?” A grunt from the man. You felt your face growing hot, and you did not know if you should hang up or not. Apparently the picture had not been waiting for you for very long—considering he was taking care of the problem while you sat with him on videoconference. You sniffed, a bit indignant. “I… You said I should be sent to reconditioning.” You could hear the moment his hand paused. “Goodnight, sir.” You hit the hang-up button before he could respond.

_Ha! Good for you, Tatey! Stand your ground! Have self-respect! Don’t give into… Crap, he’s calling back. Fuck… Would I… Am I allowed to ignore him? He’s my superior, but clearly this isn’t… Damn it!_

It was with a scowl that you accepted the call. That expressionless mask again. You strained your ears, trying to discern if he had resumed masturbating; it seemed that he had not.

“Sir,” you said with as much respect as you could muster.

“You’re angry.” You opened your mouth, readying to confirm these words, and yet all sound caught in your throat when he angled his device. He wrapped one hand around his swollen member.

_Fuck! Just hang up, girl!_

“Perhaps you need to release some tension.”

 _This nerf-herder said you should go to reconditioning! Don’t be weak! Hang up again!_ His hand was moving, and he moaned your name—your real name. You felt yourself clench. _Mm…shit!_

“S-sir, I—“

“Do you remember the hallway, technician?” You shuddered at the memory of his mouth on you, his tongue inside of you. Him in your mouth. Kylo Ren traced a finger along the vein on the underside of his cock. “You shared what you did with the other—TA-0973.”

“I…” Okay, you had to hand it to him that this had been in poor taste. But you had been feeling overwhelmed—much like now. “Sorry, sir.”

“Perhaps the general was correct. It may not be reconditioning you need—simply a lecture. A lesson. You need to learn how to control your mouth, technician.” Your mouth watered, your tongue tracing along your cheeks. “Do you need me to show you? How to manage that mouth of yours.”

“I…uhm…with…uh…the general, and—“

“There you go again. Spilling details that are not yours alone to share.” His hand moving along his cock, precum dripping from the tip. You bit down on the insides of your cheeks to keep from saying anything further. “Good girl.” The praise had you shifting in your seat, your eyes darting momentarily towards the door. _Don’t let anyone come here,_ you thought frantically. His hand started to pick up its pace, as though he knew that the two of you were on borrowed time. Your roommates would be returning any moment. When he came, he moaned loudly, and you felt your panties grow wet. Kylo Ren pumped his cock a few times more until it started to soften. “You’ll learn, technician. How to manage your impulses when it comes to that mouth. You did well tonight…perhaps I will reward you.”

Your eyebrows rose. The image of Kylo Ren flickered then disappeared entirely.

“Don’t…don’t leave me like—“ The door to your room opened. Squeakers, who had likely just observed the entire exchange between Kylo Ren and yourself, chirped a greeting at the two others who entered the room. “H-hey…”

 _What the hell is he planning?_ You stared at the screen, your breath catching in your throat as you quickly hit the exit button so that the messages from Kylo Ren disappeared. _Shit… If I tell the general… Would that be worse? What the hell am I suppose to do?_


	16. Chapter 16

Workplace Accidents: They Happen to Anyone

You stared at the steady drip of the IV that was administering the pain medication to you. All the while, you were chewing on your bottom lip and listening to Tom hum. The man was seated in a chair beside your bed in medbay. He was sporting a broken hand, the wrist on his other arm sprained. If it weren’t for him, the injury to you would have been worse. Far worse. In fact, you may have been cut clean in half by the chain he had caught before shoving you away. That chain had been between your legs, had jerked upwards when the transport shuttle you were supposed to be training with started to liftoff. Unlucky for you, you had just been starting to step over the chain that had it tied down.

Massive bruising and a few minor lacerations—to your lady parts. And how did they try to console you? By telling you it was lucky you were female, otherwise you would have likely been castrated.

 _Not fucking making me feel any better,_ you thought glumly with a scowl. You clutched the blankets of the bed, bunching up your hands into fists and wincing as a fresh wave of pain traveled through you. Whenever you moved the slightest bit, your injuries screamed in pain. Tom stopped his humming and leaned forward. Your eyes darted to the other technician and, what seemed like the umpteenth time, you thanked him. How much worse your injuries could have been. He had been walking by, and he had been the _only_ one to react.

“It’s really not how I wanted to start off,” you said, your gaze returning to the IV drip. You wanted more of the pain medicine. _Just pump me full of it, damn it!_ The physicians wanted to limit the amount you took, however, aware that you would be on pain medication for quite some time. “Do you think I won’t be allowed to be a tech on the ship?”

“Fuck, Tatey,” Tom said with a chuckle, “your priorities are skewed.”

“You don’t understand,” you groaned out, wrinkling your nose and holding in a sob. “I _finally_ was able to… It’s taken _so_ long, and…first day… First damn day, Tom!” You looked at his injuries. “I feel bad.”

“Don’t. I would have… A broken hand isn’t anything compared to being sliced in half, you know,” he said, completely serious. This was what he had been telling you for the better part of an hour—or maybe even longer, given that earlier you had been on a higher dose of medication. You had been beyond loopy. Who knew what the fuck you had said?

As if on cue, General Hux strode into the room. Room: that was correct; you had been given a private room, and Tom had been granted access given the circumstances. Injuries to the crotch, it seemed, were not as common as others. You ducked your head, mouthing an apology when the redhead dismissed the other technician. You were only thankful that he was both polite and professional when he did so, ensuring that Tom was aware he would be granted leave while he healed and was also permitted to visit you when the physicians deemed it appropriate. Your superior waited until the door to the room closed before allowing his shoulders to relax.

He fell out of the ever-professional stance he held in most circumstances; his face gave way to what you identified as a mixture of curiosity and sympathy. While the man was merciless, that did not mean he was entirely un-empathetic. Nor was he unsympathetic, at least for those he was on good terms with—or perhaps you were one of his rare exceptions.

“Apparently you have been flirting with a number of your doctors,” he said, an amusing smirk forming with his lips. You groaned, closing your eyes and screwing up your face. “Nothing noteworthy. It was all typical of what they have seen in others who have been injured.”

“I… I didn’t say any—“

“You said nothing in regards to our interactions, nor did you mention anything regarding Ren. As for your staying with the transport shuttle… You will be given ample time to heal, and we will move from there. The accident was in no way your fault. I reviewed the tapes, and you were following all proper protocols. The only reason the ship was powered on was for you to become familiar with it. There was a mix-up between the pilot and the tower. The wrong ship was given clearance to take flight. Given that he had been aware you were being trained… It is under investigation, the reason behind him failing to question the order.”

You were able to breathe a sight of relief, knowing that your career was not going to be effected in a negative way as you had feared. After all the hard work you had put in; you did not wish to be penalized for a mistake that was in no way your fault. It was refreshing to know that your superior had seen it fit to personally ensure you were aware this would not be so.

“Have you seen the injuries?” His voice drew you out of your thoughts. With a wince, you began to shake your head in the negative. General Hux spared a brief look in the direction of the door. “I did bring a mirror… Given that I am…familiar with your…anatomy, we shall say… In case you wished to have—“

“Will you hold the mirror?” you asked quietly, your voice only a note above a whisper. General Hux nodded. “And…my hand?”

“Do you plan on squeezing mine?”

“I have no idea what I might do, sir. Judging from the physicians’ comments… Well, I know it ain’t pretty.” You screwed up your face. “Maybe you should look first? Tell me how ugly it is. See if I want to see.”

“Regardless if you wish to see, Tatey-five, it would be best if you _did_ see.” In a way, you did know this. Seeing it would allow you to better know how to move, how to take care of yourself as you healed. Bacta only did so much. It speeded up the process of healing, however it was not an immediate fix. What would normally take months to heal would take roughly two weeks. You at last gave a weak nod.

The redhead helped you to adjust the gown you were wearing, pulling it off to the side. There were no panties; the material would irritate your wounds. Before he was able to regain control over his features, General Hux blanched and flinched. His upper lip twitched. “That bad?” The man cleared his throat, opting to not verbally respond. He instead withdrew the mirror he had brought and positioned it to where you could see. “Oh…my…stars…” You let your head slam back onto your pillow. “I’m broken…unable to ever have sex again. Oh fuck. It hurts…and…damn, that’s ugly. That’s a huge turn off. Oooooh, such a turn off.”

“You are a rather dramatic technician.”

“Does it turn _you_ on?” A snort followed by words you could not quite make out. Though he was less vocal and, dare you agree, dramatic about it, he did appear to have similar sentiments in regards to your injury.

You stared up at the ceiling and allowed time to feel sorry for yourself, for your aching lady parts. It was not only your pussy either. Your inner thighs were bruised with a few minor cuts. The chain, however, had sliced up your outer lips a little more than your thighs. And your inner lips— _that_ single laceration was what made you shudder at the thought of ever having sex. Although, you noted as your superior set his hand upon you, foot rubs could be infinitely better.

“A shoulder massage will be sufficient in the future,” he said thoughtfully.

“This one…is a freebie?”

“This one is a…” He paused, his eyes dropping down to your lower anatomy, which he had covered before beginning to rub your feet. “It’s appropriate care given the circumstances.”

You kept your voice low, a whisper, as you asked, “Can I have more drugs?” Your superior officer blinked at you, his nostrils flaring briefly as he breathed through his nose. That deadpan stare. Your shoulders heaved as you sighed in defeat. The foot rub would have to do.

It was when the general left that things turned a bit more sour for you. The physicians that were in charge of your care learned that you needed to be stitched up more upon discovering the bleeding had not stopped completely in some areas. That left you in a bit more pain, although thankfully this time they decided it would be wise to increase your medication to manage that discomfort.

You remembered that Tom visited you, that he was kind enough to bring your datapad. You also recalled that General Hux had later arrived to take away said device, informing you that you needed to focus on resting and healing. What you could not call to mind was a single visit from a certain individual who _acted_ as though he owned you in certain ways. That was right: Kylo Ren did not visit you—not once.

Stuck in your room for the entire day on bed rest, your roommates all gone off to work and Squeakers loaned out to them, you clutched your datapad. It had at long last been returned to you, which was nice. Especially since you were a lot more lucid now that you were on a lower dose of medication. It took off the edge, made you tired, but did not leave you flirtatious as the other medicine had. You turned on the device, opened the messaging center to give a certain superior of yours a piece of your mind…and then groaned.

You had sent eighteen messages total to General Hux and Kylo Ren. Messages that you did _not_ remember sending. You were suddenly more than thankful that the redhead had taken away your device.

 _Let’s see the damage, you idiot,_ you told yourself, opening the first of the messages you had sent, this one to the general.

_**TE-8500:** I love foot rubs. Sometimes I like it better than sex. But sex with you is great. I’m all cut up though. Did you see that? It was horrible! I can still suck your cock, though, sir. My mouth works juuuuuust fine ;) _

“I sent a winking face to him?” you asked, your voice cracking. “How did he not fire me?”

The second message was also to the redhead.

_**TE-8500:** I need ice. I need more ice. It’s TOO hot down there. This is the wrong type of fire!_

You blinked at that message. Shrugging, you decided it could have been worse. The fact that the man had not answered the messages was, in a way, good. Or perhaps he had shown up in person? The harder you thought about it, you could almost distinctly remember him _threatening_ to take away your datapad while also slipping an ice pack between your legs with one of your nurse droids present.

It was on your third message that you started to hold your breath. This was the first one to Kylo Ren.

_**TE-8500:** My cunt hurts and you won’t visit me and I think you’re an asshole._

The second message was sent mere minutes later. This one included a picture of your injuries. You groaned, staring at the image of your wounded lady parts. You had sent this to Kylo Ren. Boy were those some strong drugs. Along with the picture was another mini message.

_**TE-8500:** See? It’s ugly now. This is why you don’t visit._

The next three messages were to General Hux, all of them containing no written message aside from the title of _My Day_. You clicked through the messages and glanced at the pictures. The first was of Tom, who had fallen asleep in the chair across from your bed. His head was lolled to the side, and there was visible drool coming from the corner of his mouth. In the second picture, you had decided to show General Hux what you were being served to eat. The third and final picture message to the general was of General Hux himself. He was holding his datapad in the picture.

The next message was once more to your other superior. As always, Kylo Ren had opted to not respond.

_**TE-8500:** Why don’t you visit me? Bring my helmet! That’ll get you hot and bothered._

“Noooo…there’re still ten more… Why? Why? Why?” you whined, groaning and cringing as you gripped your datapad more tightly.

_**TE-8500:** General Hux, I need a sandwich and foot rub. You give the best foot rubs ever. It makes me happy, because you have a wonderful cock and hands. Forget Kylo Ren! Let’s have sex…but it will hurt…except if you drug me enough. Then it might not hurt. I may not even feel anything._

_**General Hux:** Technician, you were given your datapad to relax while reading. Refrain from abusing the messaging center._

It was at this point that you turned to harassing the one individual who had not bothered to visit you in medbay. Not that you could completely blame him any longer.

_**TE-8500:** Tom visits me. General Hux does too. They’re cooler than you…because you’re one hot dude._

It only got worse; the next message you had discovered in your drugged state how to utilize the video feature. Thus you had sent your superior video messages.

_You fluttered your eyelashes thrice before angling the datapad towards your lap. “That’s still broken.” Back to your face. You flipped him the bird, pointing towards your mouth a minute later. “This isn’t. It’s not managed well either.” You stuck out your tongue then burst into giggles._

Your cheeks were feeling rather hot as you watched the video of yourself, and you winced the moment you started the next one.

_You moved aside your gown, giving full view of your naked chest before adjusting your datapad so that you could show your healing wound. “Workplace injuries man. They get sexual.”_

Thankfully, the next message was not a video and was also a lot more innocuous. You had sent Kylo Ren what appeared to be a lunch order. You listed your favorite foods and drink. You had received no response for this, nor did you recall him visiting you.

You tapped a lone finger along the edge of your datapad as you moved to the next message. This one was to General Hux. You were requesting Squeakers be brought to you so that you could properly feed the droid. _No wonder they have him working with others right now._ Four more messages to go. Three more to Kylo Ren and the final to General Hux. With a deep breath, you decided to muscle through them.

_**TE-8500:** The hallway was an accident. Your ship turns me on more than you do. And I’m pretty sure the Limo would visit me if it were alive. That would be weird though. But I would like it. More than you._

The next message was another video message.

_You were bawling your eyes out, rubbing at them with one of your hands while the other you used to hold your datapad. “You don’t visit me. It’s because I can’t pleasure you sexually…and…that’s a-all you want me for!”_

_**TE-8500:** I don’t want a reward from you unless it’s you leaving me alone!_

And your final message, the one to General Hux before he took away your datapad from you.

_**TE-8500:** If Commander Ren is with you, tell him he can go fuck himself._

“Holy…bantha…balls…”

_Good for you, Tatey! Don’t take that shit!_

You set your datapad off to the side and laid there with your head on the pillow. Your inner cheering had died down, and left in its place was a tug at your heart. You swiped underneath your eye, dragging the forming tears away before they could fall down your cheeks. _He didn’t even try to visit. All those **stupid** games…teasing me… Treating me like shit! And he doesn’t even…_

You were still aching though less than before. Your body was healing and the medications were doing their job. Staring up at the ceiling, you placed your hands on your abdomen. Your fingers were drumming a rhythm at random.

“Pshh… ‘Perhaps I will reward you’,” you said in a mocking tone, mimicking Kylo Ren’s voice. “Fucker… You piece of crap.”

A ringing issued from your datapad. With a scowl, you absently reached for it and drew it to you. You stared blankly at the name that was displayed. _No…no…no… Fuck you, you piece of shit._

All the same, you were weak. And so you accepted the call.

“Sir,” you spat out, not bothering with false civility.

The masked man did not speak immediately. In fact, he seemed rather taken aback. His helmeted head drew back an inch, tilted to the side, and then he once more stared at you straight on. “Technician.” Equally filled with attitude, as though he needed to one-up you, remain in control. You swallowed down your hurt and tried to keep up with your anger so that you did not cry in front of him. “You have been allowed to return to your quarters, correct?”

“I… _Don’t_ visit me!” you screamed, hanging up the call the next moment and tossing your datapad onto the ground. You buried your face in your hands, sobbing. “It’s too late, you _asshole_!”


	17. Chapter 17

Interpretations: There Are Multiple

_Fuck Commander Ren and his big dick!_ you thought with a snarl. Then, narrowing your eyes, you shook your head. _No! No fucking him! He can be all alone **forever**._ You wrung your hands, cursing that you were still on forced medical leave. At least if you had been on duty, you could have thrown yourself into work in order to keep your mind occupied.

_“Do you think I would fuck you as though you were my equal? Just a technician…replaceable.”_

Those words kept repeating themselves in your mind. That line he had said before the two of you had allowed the tension to snap in the hallway. Why had you even allowed him to touch you after he had said such a thing, you wondered. Perhaps you had believed he had only been acting as though he had not cared. Yet his actions spoke louder than those hurtful words. He had not visited you when you had been injured. Had no desire to be known as visiting you—you took his call to mean he had intended to see you _privately_ , where no one else would be privy to your encounter.

What a farce, you thought in terms of everything that had occurred between the pair of you.

_Just a technician._

You knew he had abilities with the Force, and perhaps that was it. Maybe he only viewed Force sensitive individuals as his equals. _I wish I could push him out an airlock._ It was how even the Imperials had dealt with wayward officers. Less common in the First Order—reconditioning usually did the trick. You scowled all the more at that thought. He had threatened you with reconditioning! What the hell did you even see in the guy? Nothing, your mind shot. It was only his body you had wanted.

 _And now he’s ruining it for General Hux and I,_ you thought bitterly. A chime on your datapad drew you out of your negative thoughts. You lifted the device and opened the message that was waiting for you. A summons, the sender blocked. A simple demand to report to the Command Shuttle. You rolled your eyes, tossed aside your datapad, and rose. It did not take you long to pull on more suitable clothing, though you refused to wear your uniform. You had a physician’s note that stated you could wear regulation sweat pants for as long as you were on leave.

You were not an idiot; the one individual that would summon you to the Limo was the individual to whom it transported most frequently. You had no desire to see him despite that your thoughts revolved around him. Thus you balled up your hands in frustration as you exited your quarters. You were slow on your feet; at least, you could not speed walk so easily as you had been capable of doing in the past. This fact you currently did not mind much. It meant that Kylo Ren was being forced to wait.

Stormtroopers and officers did not poke fun at you as they were wont to do with technicians. Those aboard the _Finalizer_ were all aware that you had been injured—most even knew the full details—and they sympathized enough to not cause your healing to be interrupted. A few nodded a brief greeting without pausing, and you awkwardly returned the gesture. Your head spun each time; figuratively, of course. It was as though there were a low buzzing at the base of your neck, as though nothing that was occurring was real.

When at last you arrived on the docking bay at which the Command Shuttle was located, you found that there were no technicians, mechanics, or pilots near the vehicle. _Shit,_ your mind shot. He wanted to speak with you _alone_. You felt the hairs on your arms standing on end as sweat began to drip down the back of your neck. You slipped up the ramp and entered the shuttle. The moment you were out of its way, the ramp began to rise as though of its own accord. The swear repeated itself in your mind, and your next breath was shaky.

Though closed, the shuttle remained lighted, albeit dimly. “C-Comm-mander?” you tried, hating that your voice cracked. A light hum came from the pilot’s seat. You noticed his silhouette there as you walked closer. You paused when you were mere inches from him. “S-s-sir?”

_Stop stuttering, damn it!_

With a simple wave of his hand, he gestures to the co-pilot’s seat. Your eyes followed the trail, and there you found a stack of cushions and blankets. “Find a comfortable position, technician.”

You bit on the insides of your cheeks to keep from saying anything that would anger him. Though you wished to give him a piece of your mind, you were reminded of his power. If he wanted to, this man could kill you without a physical touch. You arranged the cushions and blankets on the seat into a comfortable sort of cradle in which you placed yourself. Rather than look in the direction of your superior when you were finished, you stared straight ahead. From this position, you were able to see the goings-on of the docking bay. Technicians, pilots and mechanics bustling about.

“You do not wish to see me,” Kylo Ren stated in a matter-of-fact tone. Your gaze flickered over to him. “Are you so angered, technician? Or are you simply petty?”

“You keep saying _technician_ as though it’s so… You think I’m so _beneath_ you, don’t you?”

“In terms of your working position?—yes. As an individual, you…fascinate me.” Goosebumps pimpled on your flesh at his words. “I would not lower myself to entertaining carnal desires with one I believed to be so beneath me entirely, Tatey-five.”

You were uncertain as to whether his words were making you feel better or worse with your previous activities. Your stomach was churning, acid burning its lining. Stars but he was going to give you an ulcer.

“Nothing was to be gained by my visiting you.”

“It would have comforted _me_ ,” you snapped, your head whipping to his direction.

“Comfort…sentimental drivel,” he retorted, his helmet cocked to the side as though you were boring him. “You are not the only one who has a sexual interest in me, technician. Some fear my touch…most do. And yet there are those fascinated by it—by power and the dance around death. Arousal derived from dangerous beings. Is that what has you thinking of me?—no, I already know this is not so. It is more than that. You react to my every word, and you treat me as a sentient being rather than a personification of the power I wield. Those who wish to _feel_ the Force in them, against them, around them. Not that you aren’t curious.”

Upon speaking the final portion, Kylo Ren rose from his seat. You found yourself tensing against the back of your chair, your hands gripping at the armrests. Your superior, however, merely uttered your name. You blinked and forced yourself to relax. When his hands lifted from his sides, you remained perfectly still though you watched his every move. Kylo Ren removed his helmet, and this he placed on the seat he had previously occupied.

“You wish me to act out of my character,” he said, pinching his eyes whilst staring at you. You lowered your gaze. What had you expected of him? Flowers? An apology? Maybe for him to leave you the fuck alone. “To be _sentimental_ and _dote_ on you? To—“

“Or perhaps, _sir_ ,” you hissed, forcing yourself into a standing position though you flinched due to the pain that shot through you, “you could just leave me and my personal life alone. I’m interested in—“

“And yet _you_ messaged _me_ , technician,” he shot. The man took a step closer to you, and you lowered yourself back into the co-pilot’s chair. Turning your body so that you were angled away from him, you stared at random portions of the Command Shuttle’s interior. “Seeking my affection—my _attention_. You have it now, technician—my attention, that is.”

“I was heavily medicated at the time. I have _no_ interest in you.” Warm, moist air hitting your cheek. His face in your peripheral. Tears stung the corners of your eyes, obscuring your view of him. “General Hux and I… _He_ visited me, okay? Tom visited me, and—“

“TA-0973?” Kylo Ren placed a gloved hand on the other side of your face, turning you so that you were looking at him. You endured his touch on your cheek, however you glared at him. “Are you giving me a list of your lovers, technician?”

“Are you calling me a _whore_ , Commander?” His eyes ran up and down the length of your face. Heat surged through your body. Hot anger and hurt. “You…” Your bottom lip quivered, the tears at last slipping down your cheeks and splashing onto your lap and his glove. “May I leave, _sir_?”

“No.” Your shoulders shook with your crying. Kylo Ren rose to his full height. His hand left your cheek, and he turned so that his back was to you. You remained there with tears running down your face, and the man who had made you cry was peering out at the docking bay. “Then it is only the general with whom you have…” He turned once more, twisting around and lowering into a crouching position. “And do you believe _he_ loves you?”

“Not like that… We… It’s not like that,” you said, hiccupping and wiping at the snot that was beginning to leak from your nose. The back of your hand was shiny with the substance, and so you wiped that onto your pants. “He… He asked me. We agreed… It’s an arrangement, and—“

“An arrangement?” His eyes once more pinched. You wiped away the last of your tears, anger once more welling up inside of you. He sounded _interested_ , as though curious as to whether or not this arrangement was something he could have with you. You forced your hands under your ass—though this made your injuries throb—in order to keep yourself from slapping him across his face. “Tell me about this…arrangement…that you have with the general.”

“As _friends_ ,” you said, emphasizing the term while looking him up and down with a level of disgust that was not forced, “we agreed to have sex on occasions when we both agree. Respecting one another. Not misunderstanding anything…”

Kylo Ren’s pupils had dilated as you spoke to him. His gaze was intense, so much so that you felt yourself nearly shrinking away. He set his hands on either side of you, his face dangerously close to yours. His breath smelled…like mint. The flame of your anger was rekindled. It was not as though you could do anything…though your messages to Hux had suggested otherwise. You had implied that you were willing to perform oral.

“‘I’ll be a dirty girl for you,’” he said, yet again tilting his head to the side. You scrunched up your nose upon hearing your words thrown back at you. “What is _our_ arrangement, technician?”

“The one where you leave me alone and I leave you alone?” you tried. His lips twitched at the sides, however a full smile did not form. A smirk of amusement was present. You averted your gaze from him. “It was…just a one-time thing. Tension. That’s all.”

“Would you like me to kiss you?” You furrowed your brow, eyeing the man as though he had grown an extra appendage. You mouthed your response: _No_. He stared at you without blinking. You wrapped your arms around yourself, wishing he would leave. “You wish to leave?” There was an edge to his voice that kept you from answering either verbally or otherwise. You stared right back at him, meeting his eye. “I will have food brought.”

“How long are you going to keep me here, sir?” you inquired, looking away with your eyes alone.

He did not reply to you, simply returned to the pilot’s seat, where he lowered himself and picked up a communication’s device. You decided it best to tune out the world as he ordered for food to be brought to the Command Shuttle.

 _Great…just great…_ You allowed your head to loll back. _Forced on medical leave **and** prisoner in the Limo…_ Your eyes wandered along the areas of the shuttle that were nearest you. Boy could you remember well the erotic dream that perhaps had started this all.

The ramp to the shuttle lowered, causing you to blink repeatedly. Still, you did not look in the direction of the exit, what with the fact that you sincerely doubted you would be allowed to leave. You could hear the individual who had come inside setting down bags of food and what sounded like a drink tray. Footsteps leaving, and again the ramp was rising, and you were shut in with the Force user. Said man left his seat in order to grab what had been brought. He deposited one bag into your lap, kept the other for himself, and placed the drink tray on the console within reach. You flinched; liquids that close to the computer system…

“I will not allow the drinks to spill, technician,” he shot, as though insulted. Your frown only grew—until you opened your bag. Inside was the food you had essentially ordered from him in one of your messages. Your favorite foods and drink. You did not move to take a bite.

_Why?_

“Isn’t _this_ sentimental?” you said through clenched teeth. You felt his gaze on you, could see it in the very corners of your field of vision. “And yet you couldn’t visit? _Really_? Can I…just leave?”

He shifted in his chair—a gesture you took as him being uncomfortable. At long last you turned to look at him straight on.

“It’s a lie: not all girls like assholes.”

“You are interested in the general.”

“That…” _Did he just imply that General Hux is an asshole?_ You narrowed your eyes at the man. _Is he actually jealous? Why?_ “Look… I… Sir, this…is confusing. And, really, I—“

“You obsess over me.”

 _True, technically…but not the point._ You reached into your bag of food and took a large bite, shoving your mouth full in order to give yourself time to think. Midway through chewing you paused. _This… We’re alone…he ordered food… Shit! Is this a date? Am I on a date with the Commander?_ Your eyes were instantly on him, finding that he was watching you eat. _Ask him. Ask him, ask him, ask him! Come on, girl!_

“Are we… Is this a date?” Kylo Ren’s response was to reach into his own bag and take a bite of his food. Your heart was racing in your chest. “I mean…because…it doesn’t really count… You didn’t ask me, and—“

“You were in a position to reject the summons,” he said, his brow knitting.

_Crap! He thinks… Did he think… I don’t want to be in a relationship with this nerf-herder!_

“It said nothing about…eating…or… I thought it was more professional or just… Not… This isn’t a date.” He stopped chewing the bite in his mouth and stared straight at you. _Fuck, was that the wrong thing to say?_


	18. Chapter 18

Fighting: You’re Tired of It

Kylo Ren remained staring at you for longer than you felt comfortable with. You shifted in your chair, lifting the food to your mouth and taking another bite while meeting his gaze. “You still have not yet left,” he said. You furrowed your brow. This fucker had told you _not_ to leave! And now he was accusing you of— “Your protests are meager, at best.” You set down your food, crossed your arms over your chest, and waited for him to grow bored of you. “Given your heavily medicated state, and the flirtatious mannerisms you thus acquired, it was deemed best that I did not visit you.” He once more had your attention. Kylo Ren’s face was rather impassive. “There is already a note of sexual harassment in your file—I being the recipient.”

“So…it was to protect me?” you asked quietly. As usual, the man chose not to answer yet another of your questions. And, as always, you suddenly did not know how to feel about him. _Whiplash… So much whiplash…_ “I still… This isn’t… If you intend to…for a date… _Both_ parties need to… This isn’t a date, sir.”

In a certain way, the two of you were quite similar; he took a sip of his drink while watching you. Not arguing, instead being passive. You decided to not bother to continue the disagreement. _You_ knew what this was and wasn’t, and that was good enough for you. Plus, you had to admit, the food was delicious. It was not often you were able to eat such a meal. There was also the fact that you were aboard the Limo. You rested against the pillows and blankets.

For a man who so often made you squirm—stars, he had only a few minutes ago made you cry—Kylo Ren had did what he could to ensure that you were comfortable sitting there with him. General Hux had laughed at your discomfort, yet never cruelly. The man beside you, on the other hand, had caused you discomfort. One kind act could not erase the pain he had put you through.

The quiet that was between the pair of you was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. You each ate in that silence, putting your trash into your respective bags. When you were finished with the meal, you licked your lips, drained the last of your drink, and rested your head against the back of the chair. Your eyes were scanning the technicians and officers that were visible to you through the windshield. So many individuals freely doing their job, doing work you wished you would be allowed to do.

Your attention then traveled to one of the stormtrooper transport ships. A scowl distorted your face, and you winced at the memory of the incident that had left you injured. While bacta had healed the majority of the wounds, the slight pain that remained reminded you that only time could erase the entirety of the result. General Hux had assured you that you would still be allowed to work on a shuttle, however he had never stated _when_ this would occur.

“Why did you want to know if I wanted you to kiss me?” The words were out of your mouth before you realized you had even been thinking about them. You blinked, wondering how your train of thought had gone in that direction at all.

Kylo Ren chuckled, perhaps to himself, maybe at your expense. His head lolled to the side, tilting as his gaze swept over to you. “I know that you do.” You felt your cheeks heating up in both slight embarrassment and mild frustration. He was right, and you _hated_ it. The Force user rose from his seat. Your hands flew to your knees, gripping them to steady yourself. To keep yourself from springing to your feet, which would aggravate your injuries. His legs hit against your knuckles. The man towered over you, leaning and gripping the headrest on either side of you. Your breath hitched.

His face was inches from yours, his lips curled into a confident smirk. “S-sir, I—“

“You were denied your reward…from when you… _accidentally_ called me.”

“I-I-it w-was an…uhm…a-acci…dent.” With every syllable you spoke, he leaned ever closer. His breath washed over your lips, warming them—moistening them. Your tongue flicked out, tracing along the edges of your mouth. His presence, his actions were arousing you. Were— “Fuck…ow…” You winced, your hands leaving your knees in favor of flying to your lap.

“You still need to heal.” Your eyelashes fluttered, your brow knit as you tried to fight off the wave of pain. It was not unbearable, but that did not make it any less uncomfortable. Kylo Ren erased the remainder of the distance between your mouth and his. His lips were softer than you had realized; you had always believed they would be chapped, what with him wearing that helmet. A light moan escaped you, your eyelids descending. His tongue slipped into your mouth, tasting you. You shuddered—and then sighed when he pulled back. “You are the first to send me a video…of you crying… Crying because I did not come to see you. Most wish otherwise; that I remain away.”

You wanted to lean closer to him, to erase that two-inch space that rested between the two of you. “I… You’re…baffling, Commander.” His right hand abandoned the headrest in favor of cupping the side of your face. You bit down on your bottom lip at the feel of his touch. “Y-you’ve been…so… I’m involved with—“ His hand twitched, the grip on your face momentarily altering, threatening to transform into something more violent. The man catches himself, however, and relaxed his fingers. His face is distorted all the same. A snarl forming. “You’ve been sending mixed signals.” For some reason, his anger only proved to fuel your confidence. “I’m not going to be yanked around. So…”

You turned your head, breaking contact with him. Kylo Ren tore himself away from both the chair and you. When his back was to you, you rose from the seat. Kylo Ren waved his hand, and you flinched. The action was not to harm you; the ramp of the Command Shuttle began to lower. Keeping your gaze low, you exited the shuttle. Your mind was in a whirl of feelings and emotions. Confusion ate at you, causing the food you had just eaten to churn within your stomach.

Without pause, you returned to your quarters. Your roommates were busy with work still, no one else present. You climbed onto your bed and laid on your side. The bare wall seemed to hold your interest. In fact, it did for several minutes. Your eyes wandered about the entire surface, noting any slight dents. You felt _drained_. You had never before been in an emotional abusive relationship, and suddenly you were learning just what it was like. The man wanted you only when it was convenient for him. He belittled you, made you fearful. And suddenly, out of jealousy, he had manipulated you into a position where, to his belief, the two of you had been on a date.

 _It had not been a date!_ you screamed in your head. You balled your hands into fists. You could feel your face contorting in your anger. Tears were falling freely down your face and onto your pillow.

He had made you want to kiss him!

_“Do you think I would fuck you as though you were my equal? Just a technician…replaceable.”_

You desperately wished that you had someone with whom you could discuss this. Someone you could talk to. Anyone you told, however, would then be at risk of being victimized by the Force user. You remembered well how he had used his powers to make everyone leave the cafeteria. And General Hux? While it was true the two of you were on good terms, that he had conceded to the two of you being friends… He had a load of responsibilities on his shoulders already. He did not need to be burdened by this.

A hiccup wracked your frame.

_“You do not wish to see me. Are you so angered, technician? Or are you simply petty?”_

Gaslighting you. Making _you_ the villain.

“Stupid fucker,” you growled out, wrapping your arms around the pillow. You tugged it closer to your chest and buried your face in it. A scream tore from your throat, muffled by the plush. The angle at which you were laying irritated your lower anatomy, your injuries. Yet that dull ache was nothing compared with how you were feeling on an emotional level.

You woke up, groggy and disoriented, at the sound of the door opening. You shifted on your bed, wiping at your nose with the back of your hand, and sat up. One of your roommates entered, flicked on the light, and shot you a look of curiosity. She apologized for waking you. You sleepily shook your head. You had not meant to fall asleep at all, much less when it meant you missed dinner. The food you had eaten at lunch—the meal you had shared with Kylo Ren—still left your stomach irritated. You pushed yourself off the bed, grabbed some fresh clothing, and quickly dressed while your roommate readied herself for rest.

The regulation sweat pants clashed with the top you wore; your uniform shirt. Thus you were unsurprised when people shot you confused looks, or else eyed you from head to toe as though you were crazy.

_I must be…obsessing over the Commander like that. What an idiot._

It was somehow relaxing for you to walk down the hallways and corridors of the _Finalizer_. Granted, you had to take everything at a slow pace. People walking past you. That was the difference between your quarters and the hallways. Though you were alone mentally, you were not alone on a physical level. For some reason that was good enough. You were amongst your peers. _Just a technician._ Your equals.

Why had you done _anything_ with him after he had uttered out those words? You felt a sudden, strong case of self-loathing mounting within you. You had acted like some _stupid_ academy girl with the hots for the instructor. Your superior. Commander. No that he was officially a part of the First Order.

Which made it worse, you told yourself.

With the General, there was a level of respect that he held for you as your superior. Kylo Ren…that was outside of the circle. You were even more of a pawn, a replaceable tool.

The stormtroopers who would normally poke fun at you, use you for their entertainment, took a step back. As though they knew you were already wounded and so left you alone. Ironic. Predators normally went after the weak. You paused mid-step for a breath, your intention to lean against a wall. The footsteps behind you, however, continued for one step beyond yours. Then they, too, pause. You looked over your shoulder, somehow knowing exactly what you would find.

The black-robed figure stood there staring at you. His mask was one, hiding his face from your eye. Your expression was neutral. Vacant eyes, maybe. You felt so drained. You turned around in full, and at last you did support yourself against the wall. Walking away would not do any good; he had proven that by following you for… You were uncertain how long he had been following you.

“Commander.” Your voice sounded so small to your own ears.

The hallways were suddenly vacant save for you and the man mere feet away. Kylo Ren strode up to you. His hands were in fists, a natural behavior for him. “It would be wise for you to eat.”

“The cafeteria is closed.” It stuck in your head, that he knew you had failed to eat dinner. Obsessive. Possessive. Always making you feel so _small_. “I’m fine, sir. I was just… I’m not cleared to use the gym, so… I’m just going for a walk to stretch.”

“At this time—so close to sleep cycle? Had I not been following you, many would have spent time…using you.”

“Are you suggesting I would have been sexually assaulted?” It did occur, however was rather rare; many feared the repercussions. General Hux was strict. No mere flush from an airlock. He allowed his interrogators to practice on such individuals sometimes. Torture. At least, that was the rumor.

“Perhaps simply assaulted.” His voice was deeper when he wore the helmet. This was a fact that never failed to cause you pause, especially after having spent time with him earlier when he had been unmasked. “Do you not care?”

“Do you?” you shot before you could stop yourself. For once, you did not feel the least bit poor or guilty for acting as you were. Silence met you. How typical, you sneered in your mind. “I’ll return.”

You started to walk in the direction you had just come from. When you were a few feet away from him, you once more heard his footsteps. A grumble left you upon realizing they were coming closer rather than away; another sound of frustration when he did not pass you. He was _following_ you. Escorting you in his mind, most likely. Did he not realize that _he_ was the cause of all this? He most likely did not care regardless.

Him walking with you like this reminded you of the first time you had seen him unmasked. When you had found yourself attracted to him. When he had teased you about his shuttle not being the only thing that flustered you.

_Fucker._

At that point, you did not care if he read your mind. Your sentiments regarding him were pretty clear, as well as justified.

Officers and ‘troopers once more were avoiding you. Or, rather, they were avoiding the man trailing after you. “Are you hungry, technician?” your shadow asked when you were three turns away from your quarters. You decided to pull a trick from his book and remain quiet rather than answer him. “It is unwise to miss meals.”

“I’m fine, sir,” you said, knowing full well he would not stop badgering you if you kept ignoring him. “I missed the window to grab something to eat. The cafeteria is closed right now. I don’t expect preferential treatment.”

His legs were longer than yours, something he used against you as he quickened his pace and moved in front of you. Kylo Ren turned around, forcing you to stop walking. You glared at his torso, outright refusing to look at that masked face of his. You need not look at his face, however. His body language had always been vocal enough for any audience. The way he angled himself, as though ready to shepherd you in whatever direction _he_ deemed necessary.

Controlling. Manipulative.

Those words repeated themselves in your head, and as they did, his stance changed. Kylo Ren took a single step in retreat. His hands dropped out of fists, though they did not flatten entirely. His fingers were still curled towards his palms. Yet suddenly he gave off an air of defenselessness. His chest heaved. Pent up frustration, your mind supplied.

“You would put your health at risk…for me?”

“What?” _What sort of skewed—_

“You are refusing to eat simply because you are angry with me… Such childish actions.” You bit your tongue—literally—to keep from screaming in frustration. He had a point, in a way. Yet how dare he chastise you! “Do I matter so much?”

You wrinkled your nose at his teasing, your lips pulling away from your teeth. “How do you mean?”

“On a personal level, Tatey-five. Do I matter so much—to you specifically?” You swallowed hard, your mind buzzing. There was no correct response in this case. You swayed a little where you stood. Kylo Ren waited a few seconds longer before saying, “I will escort you to the cafeteria. Missing a meal will not help your body.”

You did not object to this, the fight having been sucked out of you. You followed the man through the hallways of the _Finalizer_.


	19. Chapter 19

Hands: Keep Them to Yourself

Though you felt defeated enough to allow the man to lead you wherever he wished, you had not given up the ability to speak against him. “So we’re clear, Commander… I have… I’m not available.” A grunt from him. You narrowed your eyes while continuing to walk after him. What could convince him that you had no interest in pursuing a relationship with him? It struck you all at once, and you spoke the words aloud: “Well, I kissed the General—and I liked it!”

Your mouth was open to say more, however the Force user cut you off. “That sounds like lyrics to a song…that I have no intention of hearing.” Glaring at the back of his head, you clenched your jaw. You picked up your pace, drawing closer to him so that none of the nearby personnel, whom you caught sight of as the pair of you rounded another corner, could hear. The last thing you wanted was for Kylo Ren to yet again lecture you on spilling secrets that were not yours alone. “You’re…humming it.” You realized the truth to his words when suddenly you fell silent. You _had_ been humming the line you had spoken.

Kylo Ren’s hands were settled into fists once more, his annoyance properly on display. You eyed those limbs as the pair of you entered the cafeteria. As was to be expected, it was empty. The only reason the lights were on was to do with the fact that Kylo Ren had flicked the switch. He ventured further into the cafeteria, meanwhile you waited in the doorway for a few seconds longer. You chose a seat and lowered yourself there. All the while, your gaze remained on the man, who was moving out of sight into the kitchen portion.

Your mind wandered to when Kylo Ren had been with the two Knights. He had forced everyone to leave and approached you. Made you _terrified_. And yet suddenly he worried if you ate? You could hardly understand him, his motives. _It isn’t just jealousy,_ you thought, looking down at the surface of the table. You could smell food cooking. The Commander was _cooking_ —for you. The very idea caused a shudder to run through you. It was not a gesture you had ever expected of him.

 _Whiplash,_ your mind repeated for what felt like the millionth time. You rested your elbow on the table, your chin in your hand. _I mean… In a way, he’s no worse than the officers or stormtroopers who push around other technicians for fun. Maybe more harsh because he’s…_ You thought of his position, both in and out of the First Order. Warrior. He fought on the battlefield with the officers, pilots and stormtroopers. He was the one to give orders often during a fight, or so you had heard. _But that doesn’t give him the right to—_

Your thoughts were cut off when Kylo Ren reemerged; he held in his hand a single plate of food, which he set before you. Utensils were placed on either side. You found yourself staring at the meal rather than eating it. This was not something technicians were given. It was a meal intended for superior officers. For you it would be a banquet. Your eyes darted to the man who had taken a seat next to you. He was not seated on the chair properly; he sat sideways on it, straddling it with his hands clutching the surface that was between his legs. Kylo Ren was staring at you. This caused you to lean away from him, your eyes darting up and down his frame.

“You should eat,” he said once more. He tilted his head. “Or are you uncomfortable?” The man lifted one hand off the chair in favor of gesturing towards your lap. You thought of your injuries, of the way sitting _anywhere_ made you uncomfortable, and shrugged. Kylo Ren transferred his gaze away from you. His visor was now pointed at the plate of food. “Do you not like it?”

“Uhm… I’ve never had it,” you admitted without shame. You lifted up the fork and prodded at the meal. “Technicians aren’t… I might get in trouble if I…” You furrowed your brow. Why would you be punished for eating something Commander Ren had given to you? Your mixed feelings were in no way fading. “Sir?” He nodded. “Why are you being nice to me?” Before he could properly respond, you cut through the distorted syllable that filtered through his vocoder. “You make me cry—a _lot_. It’s exhausting.”

Kylo Ren lifted his hands. You felt yourself tensing in your seat despite knowing that he was moving to take off his helmet. This he set onto the table. His eyes were focused entirely on your face. You could not meet his gaze, not fully. You only glanced at his eyes before looking down at his mouth. It did not move immediately. Then suddenly it was in constant motion, words spilling from him:

“Do I hurt your _feelings_ , technician? I reprimand you for doing wrong, as I would any technician. Do not presume I will give you preferential treatment. This…” He gestured to the plate of food. “It is an exception given the circumstances. Your injuries, your…vulnerability.” You clenched your jaw at that. The movement of his mouth abruptly ceased. His lips twitched, quivering as though fighting to form around a thought. You stabbed the fork into the protein that was on your plate, however did not bring the bite to your mouth. “Do you complain or otherwise have issue when General Hux reprimands you?”

“I wasn’t talking about that,” you whispered. His mouth closed completely, his lips pressing into a thin line. “What you said…what you _implied_. I’m so low in your opinion. My position in the First Order—to you it’s not worthy of… _anything_. But my part is important, too! I help keep things running! I do my part so that the soldiers can focus on the fight. Yes, I’m a support rather than a fighter, but that doesn’t make me any less important!”

Kylo Ren surged forward, and you threw yourself backwards. You hit the chair behind you, whimpering in pain as it aggravated your injuries. Ren’s hands landed above your head on the seat. He stared down at you. His body was stretched along yours, torso propped up. His pelvis was crushed against yours. You shuddered, feeling how hard he was. This was sexual for him, you noted with distaste. All sex. No feelings. No respect.

Officers and stormtroopers pushed around the technicians to release pent-up energy. They hardly respected technicians though they were aware of their importance. And Ren… His small acts of kindness floated through your head. Handing you the toilet paper when he could have simply walked away. Escorting you to your quarters that day. If he had not, who knew how many stormtroopers and officers would have pestered you. This sort of treatment he did not display towards anyone else, not that you saw.

“I… I shouldn’t have… In the hallway, I shouldn’t have…” You swallowed thickly. Above you, Kylo Ren’s lips had pulled back from his teeth. He was outright snarling, trembling. Spittle hit your face when he hissed out your name. Your stomach flipped. “I…” Your voice caught in your throat this time. It was higher pitched than you would have liked. “General Hux and I—“ His mouth slammed onto yours. You gasped out a whimper, feeling his teeth and yours hitting together as much as you could hear them.

Your hands were on his shoulders, clutching him as you fought the dual urges to pull him closer and push him away. One hand tugged him against you, the other shoving at him; this resulted his body angling. Kylo broke away from your mouth, his tongue and teeth making a trail to your neck. Your mouth was open, and you panted as he suckled at your throat. He was leaving a mark. Your mind screamed that you would not be able to hide the hickey—screamed and shouted until the message at last hit home.

Your hand whipped to his face. The resounding smack caused your eyes to widen. You had not expected to actually hit him. Kylo Ren lifted his head and stared down at you. The impression your hand had left captured your attention. _Oh fuck, I’m dead._

“I’m—“

“You overreact,” he said smoothly. Kylo drew away from you until he was seated once more on the chair he had previously occupied. You, also, moved awkwardly to your former position. “Eat.”

_I smacked him… How am I not dead? Isn’t he mad?_

At a loss as to what to do, you meekly obeyed. The food was rich in flavor, unlike anything you had had in quite some time. Even the meal Ren had had delivered to the Command Shuttle had not been this flavorful. You were eating faster than you realized. By the time you started to slow down, you knew that you would later have a stomachache all the same. Your current companion did not speak another word while you ate. When you had finished, he lifted the plate and took the dirty dishes into the kitchen.

“I didn’t… I shouldn’t have hit you,” you managed to say when Kylo Ren returned. He snorted, his lips quirking upwards into a smirk that had you relaxing. “It’s that… Even in relationships where it’s _only_ about sex, I… I want to be respected. I deserve it.”

“You believe I do not respect you?”

“‘Just a technician’,” you intoned.

“You are.”

“Screw you,” you hissed, shaking your head and balling your hands into fists. “You don’t get it, do you?” He was silent, his eyes darting back and forth along your face. Searching for the answer. _He really doesn’t get it,_ you thought sadly. “I should get to bed.”

You turned, hating the fact that you heard him striding across the room. The helmet was lifted from the table upon which he had left it. Half a second after you arrived at the door to leave, his hand shot forward to open it. As you had come to expect, Kylo Ren did not leave you. He walked alongside you. Escorting you. _No… He’s shepherding me._

Your hand hit against his. Once. Twice. _Wait…_ You lowered your gaze as, a third time, his hand hit into yours. His fingers twitched. _Is this… Is this his version of holding hands?_ You hesitated half a second, your hand tensing then relaxing, as you decided to test the theory. The next time his hand hit into yours, you hooked your index finger along his middle. Kylo Ren’s hand stayed in place, not breaking the contact.

Your hand, loosely linked in his, swung back and forth at a pace slightly quicker than your own stride. You felt a low buzzing along the base of your skull. You were holding hands with Kylo Ren. Your heart hiccupped in your chest.

 _I should push him away… He isn’t nice… Maybe he doesn’t know how to be nice?_ You reminded yourself of the instances he _had_ been kind.

His hand fell away from yours when the pair of you reached the door to your quarters. You faced him, leaning your back against the door as Kylo Ren stared down at you. “Commander?” His chin raised almost imperceptibly. You braced yourself, allowing for a moment to breathe. And then you were on your tiptoes, pressing your lips against his mouthpiece. You could hear the hiss of air as he inhaled sharply. “Thank you for the toilet paper.”

Then, before your bravery could give out on you, you hurriedly turned, opened your door, and flung yourself into your quarters. Your hand slammed on the button that had your door hissing closed once more. On wobbly legs you moved over to your bed and climbed underneath the covers after kicking off your boots. Your fingers were on your neck, on the hickey you knew to be there.

_He held my hand…_


	20. Chapter 20

Challenge: Short Lived

Though you were not completely cleared for work, you had awoken to a message from General Hux waiting for you on your datapad. In it, you had been given permission to work near the transport shuttles. You were allowed to _observe only_ , and even then you were to keep your distance so that your body could finish healing. Despite thinking it a sort of punishment for actions that were not your own, you took into consideration that the man truly did have a somewhat vested interest in your health. You had thus happily showered, dressed, and dragged Squeakers with you to the cafeteria for a very light breakfast prior to heading towards the shuttles.

Your droid companion happily beeped and chirped behind you. It seemed that Squeakers missed your company whenever the two of you were separated. The loyalty brought a smile to your face. It was the closest to a sense of affection a droid could have.

The smile dropped from your face the moment you rounded the corner that would take you to the entrance of the shuttle bay. You stopped short, tilting back your head so that you were able to take in the mask in full. Kylo Ren had his head cocked to the side. You wondered if he was blinking behind that visor, or if he was simply focused. “The General is reluctant given your injuries, however… It is best that you have a more hands-on training. I will remain by your side to prevent any more…accidents…from occurring while you train.”

That was all he said to you before he turned on his heel and began to walk in the direction you had been heading moments ago. You glanced at Squeakers. The droid ‘looked’ up at you as well, and then the pair of you followed after the Force user. You were each rather quiet. The hustle and bustle around the shuttle bay went over your head. You wound your way past objects—no person obstructed your path, as they had already moved out of Ren’s way.

You had half expected him to enter the Command Shuttle, though you could not put your finger on why this was; he had, after all, stated that his presence was for the purpose of your training. You were not going to work on the Limo; it was a transport shuttle you were assigned to. He perhaps chose one at random. The ‘troopers, officers, mechanics and technicians who were near it tensed yet continued on their work. You walked up the ramp, Squeakers trailing along behind you.

Kylo Ren walked to the pilot’s chair, where he sat. You took the co-pilot’s chair while Squeakers siddled up between the two of you. Your hands immediately went to the console. You started to bring up diagnostics, mentally going through the steps of what you needed to do. The system was newer, upgraded from when you had last tinkered with it. You pursed your lips, narrowing your eyes and allowing yourself to become more accustomed with the slight changes.

“The General is correct—you learn quickly.”

“I take my job seriously, Commander,” you said, as respectfully as possible. A sort of hum issued from your left. You paid the noise little heed, your fingers dancing along the controls again.

Your superior hardly made another sound. If it was not for the fact that you could see him in your peripheral, you would have felt as though it was only you and Squeakers inside. You adjusted how you were sitting more than once; you could not wait until your injuries were fully healed. That thought caused your mind to drift towards Tom. He had prevented your death. You would have been cut in two. You shuddered as this realization once more hit you in full.

_What a stupid, painful way to die… Or maybe not too painful? It may have been quick… Hard to say…_

The diagnostics displayed that there was nothing wrong with the system. This made sense, given that you had originally been assigned to observations only. Being able to fiddle with the console, however, would prove to be more useful.

You left when it was time for lunch. Kylo Ren did not exit the shuttle with you, and you briefly wondered how long he would remain behind. The man was not easy to read. His moods were volatile. The man could be so in control of himself one moment then lash out the next. A man like that was dangerous, especially with the position of authority he held. It had most people on edge. With you—well, you found that you did not fear for your life with him so much as your emotional well-being. He had not brought up the way you had kissed him in thanks for the toilet paper. Kylo Ren had remained completely professional.

It was one moment you had _wanted_ him to break from his calm mood, and he had not.

Squeakers, oblivious to your somewhat soured mood, beeped happily at you. You looked down at the droid yet did not respond. You entered the cafeteria, grabbed a tray, and loaded on some of the foods the physicians had recommended to aid in your healing. It was quite bland when compared with the meal Kylo had prepared for you the previous night. You did not outwardly complain, however it struck you that you had been too bitter towards him to truly be thankful for what he had been doing for you in that moment. Not that he hadn’t deserved your sour attitude.

You ate at a leisurely pace. There was no rush; your appointment the following day would determine whether or not you were cleared for a full day’s job or not. The message from General Hux had informed you that you were to rest after lunch was over. As soon as you were cleared for work, he wanted you available for your normal duties, to work with a shuttle, and to help train two technicians who would be assigned to the _Finalizer_ in under a month’s time. They were being transferred from Starkiller Base, which meant that they had not worked on such a large ship in a generous amount of time. Though some skills were retained, the fact that systems were constantly changing meant that any help would speed up their transition period.

You only hoped that this did not mean Squeakers would be reassigned to someone else; if you became too busy, too stretched thin in your hours, that would happen. You did not mind sharing it with a technician as you had been doing. But to have it entirely gone?

_I wonder if I would be reprimanded if I requested that this doesn’t happen? General Hux might not appreciate me even bringing it up. Ugh._

You wrinkled your nose as you took another bite of your food. There was not much left on the tray. Without finishing the food, you went over to dump off the remainder of the contents and then placed your tray on top of the other dirty ones in the pile. The droid kept up with you the entire time. Squeakers released a noise of startled surprise when you walked in the direction of one of the training facilities rather than return to your quarters as you had been instructed. You waved your hand dismissively, smiling fondly down at the droid. It quieted its protests.

_I think he’s here… Supposedly his training regime is strict on dull days—and he had enough free time to stick around me the entire morning, so I don’t see why… Unless he’s meditating in his quarters. I can’t interrupt him there. That’d be suicide._

You paused at the entrance to the training chamber. Your eyes roamed along the surface of the door.

_This is stupid. I should… No… Tom is busy. General Hux is likely wrapped up in his job as well. Our arrangement is mostly for sex, and I can’t do that right now… Well, I could give him a blowjob, but then he seems to be worried about Ren still. Maybe this isn’t as stupid as I was thinking… I don’t know._

You inhaled deeply, held the breath in, and then exhaled after a few seconds had elapsed. Reaching off to the side, you hit the button in order to open the door. You immediately caught sight of the man. He sent a slew of training droids flying with the invisible power you knew to be the Force. Your mouth ran dry at the thought of that power being directed your way. His actions came to an abrupt halt, the man looking over his shoulder at you. He still wore his helmet, and so you could not tell whether or not he was displeased to see you. You stepped into the room, hit the button for the door to close behind you, and there you were alone with him yet again—this time, however, of your own choosing.

“Your droid is here.” His voice rumbled as he spoke. You blinked, directing your attention down towards said being. You supposed that, technically, the two of you _weren’t_ alone if you took Squeakers into consideration. And Ren was obviously doing just that.

When he did not speak again despite continuing to watch you, you looked down at your droid once more. “Uhm… I don’t want to send Squeakers away. I was just—“

“You should be resting.” You scowled at the interruption. You reopened the door, motioned for Squeakers to give you a few moments alone, and waited until your wordless orders were obeyed. It was when the doors closed again that Kylo Ren reached up to remove his helmet. His eyes seemed as though they were blazing; perhaps this had much to do with the way he had been training. He put his heart and soul into his job; that was the impression you had of him.

“Sir?”

“Technician.” It was the way he spoke the word, your title, that had your eyelids descending in a slow blink. His tone was passive, however he could not take his eyes off of you. He was searching your face.

You patted the sides of your pants, hitting your thighs in a rhythm of a random song you sometimes listened to. “I—“

“You hid it.” It took you half a moment to realize what he was referring to. The hickey he had given you. You touched the spot, and your heart stuttered. “Suddenly so obsessed with appearances, TE-8500?”

“Why do you enjoy…making me uncomfortable?” You pinched the hem of your shirtsleeve. Kylo Ren allowed his helmet to drop, the resulting thud causing you to jump a little where you stood. He took two strides in your direction then paused. “You say that I’m… I’m too comfortable near you, but I’m really… I’m really not.”

He lifted his chin, his steps even as he once more moved in your direction. You tensed, however kept standing where you were. Ren lifted a hand, and you felt a sudden pressure on your legs, keeping them locked in place. Even if you had wanted to, you would not be able to run from this man. Your heart pounded in your chest, its pace picking up the closer the dark haired man drew towards you. He set a lone finger against your lips, as though informing you that you were to keep quiet.

Ren tilted his head, his face moving to your neck. You could feel his breath wash over the spot he had previously left a mark. The hickey you had concealed. This same portion of flesh he attacked anew, his tongue and teeth teasing you. Your lips parted, the finger over them reminding you to not say a word. That did not stop your panting, nor silence the light moan that slipped from you. It was nothing too intense, which prevented a strong sense of arousal from shooting through you—this meant you would not experience any waves of pain as a result.

He pulled back, his breath hitting over the now-wet flesh. You closed your eyes at the feel of it. “Why are you here?”

You furrowed your brow. Perhaps you _were_ too comfortable around him; you only wanted to see him, that was why. “Last night…”

“Mm. You dislike the cafeteria food? It is sufficient.” You ran your tongue along your lips.

“I don’t…dislike it. I just… I wanted to thank you for… I was mad, but… I should still have thanked you.” Ren lifted his head then, his mouth directly in front of your own. The pressure on your legs disappeared. You pressed your lips to his, a gentle kiss. Just as brief as the one you had placed against his mask. “I’m getting whiplash.” He released a noise of interest. “Commander, you’re…” His hands were on your shoulders, urging you to lower yourself onto your knees. “I-I…”

_It’s completely sexual for him, isn’t it?_

You stared directly ahead at the bulge in his pants, at the way his hands were working to free his erection. Dropping your gaze, you chewed on the insides of your cheeks and swore under your breath. His actions ceased.

“Technician?”

“Are you going to be mean to me again afterwards?” When he did not answer, you looked up at his face. Kylo Ren was allowing his gaze to wander about you, as though he was thinking about the question. “I don’t mean… What you said—you can reprimand me, I—“

“Ah, I have your permission to complete my job,” he said teasingly. You felt your cheeks heating up. “You are asking for…” The man trailed off when you slipped a hand forward, hooking one finger around his index finger. “No.”

You flinched at the breathy way he spoke; he clearly desired you on a physical level. Why the random acts of kindness if he was not going to allow anything beyond lust?

“Your arrangement with the General…” You narrowed your eyes once more, seeing the way his eyes pinched at the corners when he spoke. “You reject the idea of having such an arrangement with me?”

“The General hasn’t…ever…” You felt as though your head was spinning. You could not place your finger on why it was an arrangement like that would not be enough. Perhaps it had much to do with how he had treated you up to that point. As though you had something to prove. “He never belittled me. Even if… I would feel…so sick…”

Kylo Ren tore himself away from you, whipping around and clenching his fists. You stared at his back. “Leave.”

“I…” This was likely the issue you had with him, you realized. Why an arrangement like what you had with the General would not work. He had no gray area, only took rather than gave. The toilet paper had possibly been an accident. His own selfishness, to satisfy his curiosity in regards to your being in the refresher that day. The meal the previous night an excuse to have you there with him. You clenched your jaw. “Yes, sir.”

You turned just as sharply as he had, your hand slamming down on the button to open the door. It started to open then jerked closed again. You squeezed closed your eyes, waiting for the storm. A single, well-muscled arm wrapped around your waist and tugged you backwards. You felt his body pressing into yours, and your breath hitched. Kylo Ren had tucked his chin onto your shoulder.

“You still believe that I hold no respect for you.”

 _He has a funny way of showing it if he does respect me…_ You chose not to answer him aloud.

“You would be dead if that were the case.” You felt as though you were spinning around in rapid circles. The sudden sense of vertigo caused you to lurch forward, his arm keeping you from collapsing to your knees. “My focus is ending this war… Winning—as should be yours.” He had tilted his head to better look at your face. You observed him in your peripheral, noting that his gaze was constantly running along your mouth and neck. “Should you have the energy for romance, you are not doing all that you can for the First Order.”

“The same can be said for sex,” you shot, earning a chuckle from the man behind you. You winced at the sound. It was too dry, too bitter. Kylo Ren unwound his arm from you and pulled away. You dipped your chin, staring at your feet. “I don’t want to ever question my own feelings…that… I—“

“You were assigned to the _Finalizer_ to fulfill your tasks.”

“You make me feel so small.” You waited after hissing out those words. A sigh issued from behind you. “And then…I feel so… Someone in my position…the way you seem…to sometimes be fascinated with me—it makes me feel…larger. Important. Then I’m small again. I feel crazy.”

“You take criticism personally.”

“When they’re personal statements… And… You toy with me. You can’t honestly deny that you—“

“You reciprocate.” Your mind flashed instantly to Tom. To the way you had flirted with him, how he had flirted as well. All in front of Kylo Ren. Still, the Force user had been rather distant on that shuttle ride. He had stated that he had not realized _you_ were the technician that would be present. This train of thought continued to the manner in which he had led you to the TIE fighter. He had erased some of your doubt in your own skills.

“I’m more open about my feelings.”

“Sentimental,” he drawled. As you twisted your torso, you caught the tail end of him waving his hand through the air. You nodded a single time, not arguing with the term he had used. “I have my focus, Technician.”

“Okay… I understand.”

He was not going to stop being so _cold_. You gestured to yourself and then to him, shaking your head.

“I can’t…have an arrangement with you.”

His lips quirked up at the corners. “You lie to yourself, TE-8500. You won’t be able to keep away from me.”

 _Challenge accepted,_ you thought, hating yourself for starting to believe his words. “I will…meet with you for business purposes only.” As you spoke each word, Kylo Ren took a step closer. He leaned down, his mouth on yours, his tongue pressing past your lips. You opened for him, moaning into the kiss. _Challenge lost._

He drew back with a chuckle. “Technician,” he purred. “When you are healed… I will toy with you some more.” The doors opened behind you, and Ren nudged you, sending you towards Squeakers, who was beeping curiously at you as you exited the training area.


	21. Chapter 21

Reputations: They Precede You

Kylo Ren was absent through much of the remainder of your healing process. You found yourself slowly getting into the swing of working. Several time already had you worked alongside another technician on a transport shuttle. Never one that you were assigned to, however. It seemed your superiors were gun shy following your injury. You sighed, but did not protest; it would make things worse for you, possibly have you pulled from what would be your later assignment. You were especially on your best behavior when General Hux swung by to observe your work. It was rather nerve-wracking, you had to admit.

You somehow passed with flying colors, however, and so here you were: walking to the transport shuttle that _had_ been assigned to you. It was all you could to do not skip with joy. You had the vague impression that you would be sent to reconditioning for expressing such joviality. You were supposed to be a professional.

Squeakers, your beloved droid, was not with you for your first day. You had been informed that the droid could accompany you when you worked on the anti-grav machine. When you were at the transport shuttle, on the other hand, there were other droids that specialized in that department. You only hoped they did not complain a lot. Some droids could be such a downer to work with. You wondered how the other technicians would be as well; a few your had worked beside were too cranky with you.

You kept your head low the closer you got to the transport shuttle you were assigned to. The technician that was already nearby glanced up from his datapad to look you over. A female technician walked away from him. Your eyes followed her for several seconds before darting to your co-worker. He quirked his lips to the side. Both of you seemed to be assessing one another, neither of you having met before. At last his attention fell back to his datapad.

“Hey,” you said by way of greeting.

“TE-8500?” he asked, and you replied with a tentative _yes?_ “The system is shot… We have a lot of work ahead of us today.”

“I’m…ready for it. You can take lead—I have no problem with that.”

The man nodded. “Okay… Good… Some people think it’s best if they force their way into getting respect. This is better. I’m TA-9999.” You blinked at his number, waiting for him to offer a nickname or even his actual name. Nothing.

“Tuh-nine?”

“No. TA-9999.”

“I’m Tatey-five or Tatey.”

His eyebrows rose as though he recognized the name, and his mouth split into a wide grin. “Oh. You’re the one…with the Commander, right? Accidentally groped him or something… Wait… Also got injured—are you going to be safe here?”

You resented that, while at the same time you understood where he was coming from. Still, you despised being referred to as a klutz. You uttered out a meek response that you would be just fine. In the back of your head, you said a small prayer that this would ring true. TA-9999 merely nodded. You did not think for one second that he was convinced. Pouting, you slunk after him when the man headed up the ramp of the shuttle. It would be futile to argue your point.

You sat in the co-pilot’s chair while your co-worker took the pilot’s seat. He brought up the system’s screen, and immediately you winced. Error after error ran through the line of codes. “Virus,” he said by way of explanation. “It’s a wonder they made it back to the _Finalizer_ … Luckily there does not seem to be any tracking encryptions.”

“A Resistance attack?”

“That, or one of our suppliers trying to find a way to get more money off of us.” You wrinkled your nose. It would not be the first time something like that had happened. Business could be so political—so duplicitous.

Tom had been working with you during your healing process, teaching you certain tricks for working with some of the newer codes for the transport shuttles. TA-9999 split the screen. He worked on half, meanwhile you did what you could with the other. After so many lines of code, the two of you would switch to look over one another’s work and fix any errors left behind. By the time lunch rolled around, the two of you were only a third of the way through the main system. Your growling stomach protested the fact that you refused to rise from the chair to get food. Your co-worker was acting likewise.

“We’ll have a system’s expert look over everything when we’re finished,” TA-9999 said several hours later. You slumped in your seat, your eyes wide and your lips parted as you heaved a sigh. “I will inform the supervisor that you and I will need one more day on this. It would be stupid to skip dinner after missing lunch.”

“Yeah.”

“C’mon.” As he rose, he slapped the side of your leg to get you moving. You pushed yourself into a standing position, wavered, and set your hand on the console to keep from falling over. Your damn legs had fallen asleep! TA-9999 scooted around you, though he lingered by the ramp until you were at his side. “I only transferred last week, so… A few of the technicians I know from training or my previous time on the _Finalizer_. They needed work done on Starkiller though.”

“Hmm.” You did not know how to respond, and so offered this noncommittal noise.

“From what I remember: it’s best if we don’t wander off by ourselves.” He trailed off, as though weighing something in his mind. “Given what I’ve heard of your track record, I figure…”

“Uh…thanks?”

You were not going to outright reject his offer. At the same time, you were frustrated that _no one_ seemed to be letting go the fact that you sometimes made mistakes.

Having the man at your side, however, did have its immediate benefits. The stormtroopers ignored you. Officers looked you up and down as always, frowns on their faces when they took into consideration that you were not alone. Solitary targets were easier. It was why you had appreciated those instances when Ren had walked you to your quarters. The academy had never been this severe—more officers and ‘troopers were bored on the _Finalizer_ than in the academy. There were no lessons keeping them distracted. No homework or tests. Just work.

Funnily enough, despite this, not all technicians had the same sense of camaraderie as TA-9999. There were those who specialized in certain fields even as technicians—radar, systems, weapons, and so forth—and they often thought themselves superior to technicians, such as yourself, who dabbled in each area. You had never fully understood this. At the same time, in your opinion, it was no different than the arrogance of TIE pilots as opposed to the other pilots of the First Order. Due to the risks and complexities of the TIEs, those pilots thought themselves better. Sometimes the First Order was known to exacerbate this perception.

Such a group of pilots walked by you on the way to the cafeteria. One skimmed a finger along your thigh, and you jerked to attention. The quick pace of your heart died down when you realized who it was—though he was arrogant and everything of the typical TIE pilot, Uydens was more sympathetic to you due to your relationship with his technician sister. TA-9999 was still on edge when you gave a nod of greeting to Uydens. Your fellow technician had his knees locked; you doubted he had much experience dealing this closely with TIE pilots.

“She’s been assigned to the Command Shuttle.” You knew immediately he was speaking of his sister. Your eyebrows rose in surprise, and you found yourself worrying suddenly—the fact of the matter was that you were unsure how to react. You were pleased for your friend; this was an amazing promotion for her. Still, the position had been open solely because you had gotten Tom in trouble when he had comforted you during a moment of unease in your life.

Knowing it would be rude to cut into his mirth, however, you offered Uydens a smile and managed to congratulate him on part of his sister’s accomplishment. The pilot did not remain near you for a while; though he never bullied or harassed you, that did not mean the two of you were friends. With a quick flick of his wrist and a two-fingered salute, Uydens was off to rejoin the other pilots. TA-9999’s eyes wandered from the retreating forms of the pilots to you and back. You shrugged, stated how you knew the man, and began to once more head for the cafeteria.

“That’s rather lucky, isn’t it?”

“For his sister, maybe,” you said without turning to him. “Other pilots avoid messing with her at all because of their relation. Me? I’m still technically fair game.”

A small part of you wondered if you would still be ‘fair game’ if any knew of your previous relations with both Kylo Ren and General Hux. Wrinkling your nose, you preferred that the general and you had been discreet. There was no need to even begin thinking of the names some would call you.

At dinner, you soon discovered that, if someone was attractive enough, they were instead praised for behavior like yours. A female officer, whose name you caught as being Vonil, had been caught having sex with Kylo Ren. A stormtrooper had walked in on them—and news was spreading. How Ren had had two fingers hooked into the woman’s mouth as he pounded into her from behind. You slouched in your seat, scowling and crumpling up your napkin. People were talking about how they wanted to bang the woman as well. You knew what she looked like, that she was attractive.

 _So much for toying with me later,_ you mentally growled.

What frustrated you the most was that it wasn’t as though you could really blame him. He had never denied the fact that he had no interest in a full relationship. He had wanted sex. Just sex. And, besides, you had had your arrangement with the general—it would be hypocritical of you to be angry with him for having sex.

You stabbed the prongs of your fork into your food, wishing everyone would _shut up_ so that you could eat in peace.

_“Just a technician…”_

It had been a few weeks since you had last thought of those words. And now you were wondering if he thought more of the officer than you. She was a higher rank, in the eyes of others more important than you.

Deciding that you were not very hungry after all, you rose from your seat to toss away your food. No one commented; in fact, hardly anyone paid you any attention. They were all still caught up in the rumor, in the relationship between Kylo Ren and the female officer. You set your tray away, walked out of the cafeteria, and headed down the hallway. You were not entirely certain where to go. Your quarters would offer no comfort. In a way, you doubted _anything_ would.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, tilted back your head, and decided it was best that TA-9999 had opted to not follow after you. There was one place you wanted to be suddenly. With one person. You hoped that he was not busy—a laughable idea, really.

General Hux was not on the bridge when you found him. He was busy with a number of datapads, and there was a scowl on his face. You hesitated in the doorway to the room he had entrapped himself. “S-sir?”

“Mm?”

It did not bode well, you thought, that he wasn’t looking up from his work. “Can… May I speak with you?”

General Hux placed down the datapad that had been in his hands and set it beside a second. “You’ve heard as well then.” You blinked twice, swallowed, and nodded. “I do not think it wise for us to continue our relations—I informed you of this.”

Your shoulders slumped at this. Hot tears pricked at your eyes. You did what you could to fight them off; you _wouldn’t_ cry in front of your general!

“I just…”

“You may come in here and sit.” Nothing held you back. You jerked forward into the room, slipping beside him and crossing your legs. General Hux handed you one of the datapads. “The sexual aspect is what I was referring to. Given that you are on track for promotions… I do not wish to risk having to transfer you.”

“I… I do appreciate that,” you said honestly. It did not take away the sting, not entirely. But his words helped to lessen the hurt. “I can still… We can still talk though?”

“Yes, Tatey.” Your eyes darted to his face then to the datapad and back. “Were it not detrimental to your career, I would not have ended things. They were enjoyable, and the lack of stress therein was refreshing.”

You took comfort in the fact that, though there were no longer benefits, you were still, in a way, friends with the man. A small, selfish part of you wanted to throw caution to the wind and kiss the man beside you. Yet you knew the heel of his hand would meet your forehead; this exact thing had occurred the first time you had been with him following his revelation that the two of you could not pursue a relationship—at least temporarily, he had added. If only that supervisor hadn’t put you in for a promotion. If it went through, you would take lead on one of the stormtrooper transport shuttles rather than following along with others. If it went through, it also meant that you could work on other shuttles without being questioned. And that was something you had been working towards for a while.

“When will we know?”

“The promotion?” You nodded. “Within a week the decision will be made. Regardless of the outcome, there will need to be more time before you and I even entertain the idea of resuming things.”

You sighed heavily. In most respects, you admired the man for taking into consideration your career. For thinking of _you_ rather than giving into his own carnal desires and later having you transferred. This was why you had been open to a relationship with him, while with Kylo Ren…

“He’s fucking an _officer_!” you hissed, whipping around. General Hux did not so much as flinch. It showed how well he knew you, the way he had seemingly anticipated this reaction from you. You set down the datapad so that you wouldn’t throw it in a rage. “He always talked down to me, sir, and… And now he goes and fucks an officer. And _everyone_ is talking about it! It’s not in her file that she sexually harassed him or anything. I—“

“That notation shall soon be removed from your file.”

You shut your mouth for a few seconds. Wringing your hands, you shook your head. “It won’t stop people from talking about it—people who know it was there in the first place. It doesn’t _change anything_.”

Because that was the thing about reputations, they preceded you. Anywhere you worked, anyone new who came onboard—your mind darted to TA-9999, the way he had _known_.

You set the heels of your hands against your forehead, your fingers in your hair as you growled out your frustrations again.

“It’s why I cannot risk involvement with you for now. For your sake.” Though you wanted to thank him over his genuine concern for you, you could not. You were too busily crying, frustrated. Crying in front of your general. And he patted your back whilst lifting up the datapads to continue his work.


	22. Chapter 22

Illusion: It’s Been Broken

You were entirely uncertain how things would end. In many respects you felt like an utter fool. Your stomach had been churning the majority of the day. Acid bubbling. A multitude of bile-filled burps you had managed to swallow down. Currently there was steam all around you. Then again, that’s what tended to happen when one sat on the floor of a shower. Due to the fact that you were clothed, you were on the very edge, away from the spray enough so that it did not fully get you wet. Your arms were wrapped around your legs, which you had drawn towards your body.

You felt…overwhelmed.

A testament to this was that the one individual you had believed wouldn’t care at all… He had just drawn aside the curtain. You glanced his way then lowered your gaze again. Kylo Ren shifted into the stall with you. His boots caused light splashes of water droplets to hit you. The man lowered into a crouch on the other side. He was facing you, his arms propped along his legs.

You should have been in the medical bay receiving an exam. The idea of actually being penetrated—you had _thought_ you were ready for sex. Perhaps it was the constant ‘no’ that had allowed you to carry on with this façade. The exam was, naturally, a true _yes_. This hadn’t hit you until the moment you had been walking in the direction of med bay. Gravity seemed to have increased with every step you took—and then it was nothing as you turned tail and ran. You had been in the refresher ever since. Going from stall to stall as the hot water ran out.

“It’s kind of a dumb reaction to have,” you said softly. You did not want sympathy, and so you were not disappointed when he did not even grunt in acknowledgment that you had spoken. One of your fingers twitched, which prompted you to start bouncing it back and forth. “You probably figured it’d go like this… Moved on… You could have told me. It was shitty to find out that way.”

It was this that caused him to verbally address you. “I was informed that it would be less emotional to not address you.”

“Who the fuck do you even speak with?” you snapped before your mind caught up with your mouth. You instantly huffed, curling more tightly upon yourself, and waited for him to react. He did not.

“You act as though my coming to you ahead of time…that telling you my intentions were to have such relations with an officer…that this would not have hurt your feelings as well.” It stung that you couldn’t argue with him. If Kylo Ren had acted in this manner, it likely _would_ have hurt you as much as him not telling you had. You would have lashed out at him, accused him of once more looking down on your job position. And, somehow, you doubted he would have denied this view.

This man was difficult for you to understand. Perhaps that was one of the reasons he had been able to cause you such emotional turmoil. You rested your chin atop your knees and slowly blinked at him.

His physical interest in you was painful—because you wished he cared for you as a person. For so long, in many ways, you had respected him. Yes, you had always feared him after what you had heard…and yet… To have this man’s respect, your superior’s respect, would have meant the world to you. Him being interested in you, that was _not_ the same. He spoke your job title as though it were so insignificant. Had openly admitted that he thought little of it.

And if you had hated your job, that would have been one thing. But… This was something you were passionate about.

“You knew I’d find out about it…when the rumors started. I shouldn’t have found out that way—you had said… You had said…” Rather than gain volume, your voice had begun to wilt. You started to chew on your lip then released it in order to speak again. “I’ll… I _will_ go to med bay…eventually. The other times I was, uhm, sedated or had pain medications so I wasn’t… I’m freaking out over actually having something down there—and speculums aren’t exactly what I would consider ‘nice’.”

“I wouldn’t know.” You felt rather hot at that comment. It was so blunt, and had your mind flashing to a picture of Kylo Ren on the examination table with his ankles in the stirrups.

Your mind returned to the present, to reality, and you directed your attention to the spray. Such wastefulness. You wondered why you weren’t being reprimanded.

“A traumatic experience… They failed to conduct a psychological evaluation following what occurred.” You wondered if, had they done so—would you have been sent to reconditioning? Transferred to a different vessel? Given orders to work on a base rather than a ship?

Kylo Ren rose to his feet as you pondered this. The man stepped around the spray of the water, his hand seizing hold of the nozzle so that he could shut off the shower. You could not help but think of it—the day tensions had snapped resulting in you and Kylo Ren landing in the sixty-nine position, you had had multiple showers. The way, much before that, you had been in the middle of his spat with Captain Phasma over a showerhead. In round about ways, even if he had thought so low of your position, he had seemed to seek out your company. 

_He should have just harassed a different technician. This would have been so much better._

“There has been a request for you to work on a TIE… The pilot Uydens…” Your commander had turned around, seeming to consider you from behind his mask. Your head felt as though it were buzzing. Pulsating poundings within your skull. The repetitive question: _What? What? What?_ “I refuse to participate in the decision—you should be glad.”

The robed man stepped past you on this note. You continued to stand there feeling rather dumbfounded. Kylo Ren had never hidden the fact that he did not wish for you to work on the TIEs. A dangerous job… Why did he care? Your hand dropped towards your lap, though you failed to grope yourself. It had healed, yes; and yet it would never look the same. Injuries sustained by those working on TIEs were just as gruesome if not infinitely worse. Why did he care?

Rather than dwell on this and waste more time, you at long last began the trek to med bay. Your heart was pounding in your chest, in your ears. Why couldn’t they have agreed to sedate you for this? It was…well, intimidating to say the least.

Throughout the entire exam, you winced and whimpered—and attempted to distract yourself by thinking of what Uydens had requested. A TIE? You? Your heart stuttered in your chest. Working on the stormtrooper transport shuttle was nice, sure; but _this_ would be your dream come true. The fact that Kylo Ren refused to be a part of the decision making increased your chances of getting the job. This would far surpass the promotion you were currently up for.

Sore after the examination, you decided to hole up in your quarters. You were curled on your side, one arm hooked underneath your head, and facing the door when it opened. The woman was not someone you had ever spoken with previously, not that you could recall at least, however you recognized her. This was the officer… Vonil. You shifted uncomfortably on the bed. Should you tell her to leave? Ask her how the hell she had even gotten the code to your quarters? Probably one of your roommates.

You were _sore_. You did _not_ want to deal with…whatever _this_ was.

Huffing, you scrambled upwards into a semi-slouching position that still allowed you to be comfortable. Officer Vonil entered the room, however did not move too far into your quarters. She kept a respectable distance from you, though you were quite obviously the focus of her attention. She slipped one arm behind her back and cupped the other with its hand. This threw you off-guard, especially with the nervous expression that crossed her features. It took you a moment to realize you were glaring at her, and you did what you could to get yourself under control.

“It’s… The arrangement was simply sex.” You furrowed your brow. Why in the blazes was she telling you this? You didn’t want to know. It didn’t matter. What. The. Kriff. “No attachments. It’s…that…. My ex told me I was complete shit and that _no one_ would ever want me. Commander Ren… The plan was for someone to overhear…one of my ex’s….” She cleared her throat, and you squirmed a little. “I hadn’t known about…you. General Hux… General Hux has informed me of your history with the Commander—and Commander Ren is, well… He’s more distant that usual. Which wouldn’t have been too bad, what with our arrangement… Except he whispered, uhm…” She ran a shaky hand through her hair. “He said your name during sex.”

Your jaw dropped.

“And… And I didn’t react, so I’m pretty certain he doesn’t realize what he did. And, it’s just… After what the general told me…” Her shoulders heaved as she sighed. Officer Vonil shook her head, her arms raising then lowering. “I was trusted enough to know that you had an arrangement with the general. Just sex. Wouldn’t have any bearing on your job. That’s what _this_ was supposed to be. We don’t mean anything to one another. I…”

“Don’t,” you whispered. Your mind felt as though it were in a fog while at the same time it was racing. What was going on? Kylo Ren had said _your_ name during sex with someone else. Your heart pounded in your chest again. Why did he have this sort of power over you? “It’s not… It’s not good between us. He doesn’t…respect me. It was probably good this happened.”

Officer Vonil was shaking her head, though you doubted she realized what she was doing. Her facial expression displayed how lost she felt, and suddenly you felt a little guilty over how angry at _her_ you had been. It _hadn’t_ been her fault. And, ultimately, it wasn’t as though you could fairly fault Kylo Ren for having such an arrangement when you had had one with General Hux. It was the push-pull game your Commander was playing that gave you whiplash and drained you emotionally.

“I’m, uhm, sorry…about your ex. People shouldn’t…do…that…”

You wanted to say _He sort of sounds like Ren_ , but didn’t. She didn’t need it rubbed in her face; you assumed Officer Vonil had already realized that she had hooked up with another asshole.

“Look, technician,” she began, and you narrowed your eyes at the use of your title. It reminded you _too much_ of Kylo Ren. “I don’t think you’re getting it. I served on the Command Shuttle before—the Commander isn’t one to be distracted and make mistakes. Him thinking about _you_ like that…slipping up…and I hear he recused himself from the decision-making body regarding whether or not you work on a TIE. If I know _anything_ , it’s that Commander Ren is an _entitled_ man who _loves_ that he has power over others…

“Everyone is below him. He thinks _no one_ is worthy of thought, of his attention. I’m not saying his behavior was okay… From what General Hux told me…I… I get it. But…but you might want—“

Whatever she would have said, Officer Vonil was cut off by the sound of your door opening. Your back straightened instantly, and your eyes went wide. Not as wide as the other female’s eyes, of course. Kylo Ren stood there with his hands in fists, his long strides having taken him further into the room than where Vonil had remained. Though he stared your way, the Force user addressed the other female.

“I see now why you put in a transfer request… Foolish.”

Officer Vonil closed her eyes, obviously fearful of the man, and yet she held her ground. “You moaned her name during sex.” There it was. Out in the open. The muscles in your legs tensed; likewise, Kylo Ren had stiffened. His movements were nearly hesitant, the man taking several seconds to twist at the torso so that he could regard the officer. She reopened her eyes, nodding and assuming a respectful tone. “Sir, you—“

“Her name…” You could see Vonil’s throat bob a little as she seemed to swallow some saliva down. The woman nodded in confirmation. “It does not—“

You had not known of anyone, save General Hux, cutting Kylo Ren off mid-sentence, however Officer Vonil did just that. “They plan on offering her the option of working on the TIE.” A static-like noise escaped the man, your Commander. “You and I _both_ know why it’s preferred to _not_ have female technicians work on the TIEs… Sir.”

“The decision is hers,” Kylo Ren responded coldly.

“What happened with Uyden’s former technician—“

He wheeled around completely, his face nearly crashing into hers. Officer Vonil closed her mouth, visibly gritting her teeth to keep from speaking another word. Which you did not exactly like, given that your curiosity had been piqued. What the hell had happened to Uyden’s former technician? Was it bad? Had it been Uyden’s fault? You shuddered at that thought. Uyden’s was a typical TIE pilot, sure; however he had always seemed more…respectable than some of the others.

“Your request for a transfer noted that you wished to have a new technician on the shuttle you would be assigned to… You wish to have…this one.”

_‘This one’!?_

At the same time, your heart fluttered. Officer Vonil truly did respect you as a technician—she _wanted_ you. Wanted to work with you. Had come to smooth over any ill feelings you had for her. Which meant that she valued your opinion and respected you as a person.

“Your request is denied.” Your mind blanked out whatever Volin’s reaction was. You were too busy gawking at Kylo Ren. Who the hell did he think he was? Yes, he was your Commander. But… Why was he doing this? Because he had fucked her? Because he had moaned _your_ name while fucking her? You opened your mouth to have your say, but instead snapped it shut when he whipped his head in your direction. That dark visor of his pointed your way. You cowered at the sight of it; such an endless abyss. “You both forget your places. Insubordinate.” Kylo Ren next addressed the officer, dismissing her with the single word _leave_. She obeyed, and you could not say that you blamed her.

Still, it left you alone with the man, who seemed so angry. If it had not been for the fact that you were sore and, in any case, would not be able to outrun him, you would have attempted to book it from the room. Instead, you remained on your bed. Eyes wide. Watching him warily. Kylo Ren advanced upon you. He place one hand near your hip on the bed, the other reaching past your shoulder so that he could grab hold of the headboard. His helmet was mere inches from your face.

“You fucked her.”

It hadn’t been what you were thinking. Why the hell had it slipped out? Why were you obsessing over it?

“You said… About playing…when I healed… What… Why are you like this?”

“There is a delicate balance between work and play, technician… One that you fail to respect. And so, yes, I _fucked_ her.”

“That’s not right.” You could hear his distorted snort, the helmet’s vocoder turning it into something even more derisive than it normally would have been. “You… Just because… I’ve had a _really_ shitty day. I don’t need this.”

“Are speculums truly so awful?”

Not that the man ever did, but Kylo Ren appeared keen no failing to listen to you. He shifted forwards and nudged your with the edge of his mask. As though he were nuzzling you. You turned away, looking at the far wall of the room. If only Squeakers were here… Kylo Ren had a strange habit of annoying you less when your droid was present.

“You moved to rekindle your arrangement with the general, and so I believed you were uninterested….yet was aware of your…tumultuous feelings for me. I knew it best to seek my own arrangement with another.” A chuckle, and you felt your bottom lip pucker forward in a pout. Stars, you wanted to smack him. “I moaned your name during sex, technician.” His shoulders were shaking. Kylo Ren…was…laughing? “I should have had you transferred…” Another nuzzle. “You cannot work alongside Officer Vonil. That _would_ force a transfer.”

He broke away from you, lifting his body off the bed. “Why?”

“She is to work on my Command Shuttle again—and we both know your behavior on that. Masturbating while on duty would be an automatic transfer, Tatey-five.” You felt rather hot. No wonder he had been unable to remain away from you just now—he was thinking of it, of the dream you had had that time…the dream that had caused tensions to rise between the two of you.

Of course, Officer Vonil knew nothing of your past behavior. Which also explained why Kylo Ren had dismissed her.

He was…protecting you in a way. It frustrated you, that your Commander could be so complicated.

“Are you going to keep fucking her?”

_Stars, mouth, you fail!_

Kylo Ren paused I his movements, his head tilting to the side.

“I…don’t care if you do.” _Liar!_ “It’s your choice.” _Jerkface, you’re going to do it anyway, aren’t you?_ “I just… Don’t moan my name!”

The thing was, and this you should have known after all your time with him: Kylo Ren did whatever the fuck he wanted. He did _not_ listen to you. Which is why he moaned your name, tilting his head back and swearing. Your body reacted to his voice—and you hated (you totally loved) it.

“Do you…know what…you…are?” _Annoying!_

And that was _exactly_ what you were going to say. That, or perhaps _an asshole_.

The man never missed a beat, however; and his memory was something that was beginning to piss you off.

“One hot dude.”

He _would_ quote one of the messages you had sent him when in a drug-induced state.

“This isn’t the sort of ‘toying’ I was looking for.”

“Moaning your name had been an accident, technician… Do not make the same mistakes.”

“Should… How… Are you referring to yourself as a mistake?”

His hands twitched. Kylo Ren made a fist with each of them. “I have no wish for…sentiment.”

“I… I wouldn’t have needed…sentimental things, except… Except you’re a complete asshole!” Your mind could hardly wrap around the fact that you had insulted your superior. He, however, did not seem at all surprised. “Sir, I…”

“You think I do not respect you—that I speak with you like this is respect.” Entitled dickhead. “That I think of you…so often…is respect.” Was that…present tense? _Whiplash. Whiplash. Whiplash._ “That I left you…is respect.”

“That…doesn’t make any—“

“I manipulated you, technician. You were a _toy_.” So…what? Him leaving you alone… Making any arrangement with someone else… What kind of sick love was that? “I should not have moaned your name.”

Back to this again.

Sometimes you forgot how obsessive your Commander was.

“Sir?”

“The toilet paper…” His mask began to dip then rose again. Not a nod; a different sort of movement. “You’re rather sweet on me, technician.” Those words did not sound like something Kylo Ren would say, not exactly. “So tame. And then…you snapped back.” Which had resulted in you straddling his face with his cock down your throat.

You remember the way General Hux had referred to you as ‘Titty-five’ after you had had sex with him. They talked about you. _Sweet on me_. Captain Phasma.

“I’m just some inside joke to you guys.”

“You had been. Yet you proved your worth, time and again, in the workplace.”

You shook your head. They liked your worth ethic. General Hux had grown to respect you as a person, sure. “I…I want a transfer.”

“Do you understand now?”

Why he had tried to push you away. Warnings about your file… From both General Hux and Kylo Ren. In their own way. Constant monitoring. Indirectly trying to tell you that… It wasn’t only the triumvirate. Somehow, you knew they would draw the line somewhere. They had better things to do than mock you. Refer to you as names that your supervisors used, yes. Be derogatory in this manner. Your supervisors did not respect you—and the triumvirate had better things to do than ensure you weren’t being mocked.

You. Just some random technician.

“Yes… I want a transfer… Commander.”


	23. Chapter 23

Distance: It’s Only so Long

There was nothing that could ease the hurt you felt at discovering that your superiors spoke so poorly of you as a person. They constantly had you piled down with work, offered smiles—which you now knew to be false—and praise—which you now questioned—as you completed these tasks. The triumvirate assured you that it was not your work ethic that was questioned, that your abilities as a technician were never mocked. That only made the blow hit harder. You put so much into your work that, apparently, you had been blinded into believing others respected you. Instead, you discovered, they had been walking all over you. Giving you jobs they did not wish to complete themselves only to mock you behind your back. Not just your coworkers—your _superiors_.

Squeakers would not be permitted to leave the _Finalizer_ with you. You felt as though the triumvirate were attempting to blackmail or bribe you into remaining onboard. They suggested you transfer to a different part of the ship. You had flinched, recoiling from them and excusing yourself from the room. This had led them to fall under the misconception that your desire to leave had faded. Thus, when you returned with the official paperwork filled out, General Hux had stared blankly at you. As for the expressions of Kylo Ren and Captain Phasma, those were concealed by the helmets they wore.

The redhead tilted back his head when at last he recovered his wits, and the man who had claimed to be your friend, in a way, declined your request with the utterance that the post you had applied for was not accepting new technicians at the time. It stung worse than anything that had happened thus far. You had always known that General Hux was, at the core of it, merciless. Perhaps it had much to do with his childhood, or it could have been attributed to his rank. In either case, the result was the same. He did not pity you enough—or at all—to allow you to transfer.

This was further proven when you received a message from your superiors, informing you of the request to have you work on Uyden’s TIE. What normally would have left you feeling elated now made you wonder if they were treating you like a child needing to be consoled. Giving you what you wanted—General Hux had praised your skill multiple times. You stared at the message with your lip curling upwards into a an expression of disgust.

How _dare_ they! Every one of the triumvirate members had used the derogatory nicknames given to you by your supervisors as well as others. _Titty-five_ , your mind shot. You thrust away your datapad, your eyes darting to the helmet of your uniform. 

Your file had been marked with a sexual harassment notation when you had done nothing wrong; all because your supervisors wanted to…what? Further mock you? The triumvirate had not dissuaded them. The fact that it was now removed from your file meant _nothing_.

And Kylo Ren had flirted with you the entire time, knowing what was being said behind your back.

General Hux had claimed to be your friend, had made an arrangement with you for sex.

“Stars, I’m such an _idiot_ ,” you hissed. The one thing you could say for Kylo Ren was that he had never pretended to care for your job as a technician. It had _stung_ , certainly. And yet… To know that you had blindly trusted others and believed they respected you…to learn that it had all been a lie…

You hadn’t even wanted to be _popular_ , per se. That was not it at all. It was learning that you were the butt end of…how many jokes? Your mind was suddenly wrapped in a blanket of paranoia, racing over every time you had heard someone laugh. Had they been laughing at _you_? You certainly had never felt so self-important, however you could not help but wonder…

The sardonic grins from TA-9999 made _too_ much sense to you. Had he been playing at being kind to you? Did he also mock you behind your back?

That was why you felt the need to be transferred; you no longer trusted _anyone_ aboard the _Finalizer_. Except for, perhaps, Vonil, and you had been denied the chance to work with her.

Shaking your head, you brought up a fresh application for transfer and immediately set about filling in the necessary information. You outright refused to show up for work. It may have been career suicide, yet so would remaining here be. A fake sexual harassment charge? That could have ended things for you right there. And everyone had _allowed_ it! You sniffled, brushed aside your tears, and continued with your task. As much as you despised the idea of running away, you…

 _It’s not running away,_ you told yourself. _It’s heading towards something… Progress._

This application, too, was denied. General Hux stood before you, his hands clenched into fists and his teeth pressed against one another. He trembled, with rage you supposed. “Should you refuse to show up for work again, _technician_ , you will be sent to reconditioning.”

Your heart hammered in your chest. Its beat echoed about in your head, or at least seemed to. You seized your bottom lip with your teeth, your eyes darting towards the ground, a bit to the side.

Though it pained you to admit, you understood that General Hux had no choice but to threaten you with this. No… It was a promise. His position as general of the First Order meant that he could not allow something as simple as ‘friendship’ to interfere with his job. Or your job, for that matter. A replaceable technician acting out. You imagined that was _precisely_ what your supervisors were calling it. What name were they using?

…and were the triumvirate still using those names?

“Reconditioning is fine,” you said quietly. The man’s lips parted, nothing but air escaping through them.

You had caught him off guard—and when he recovered, his reaction did not surprise you. Rage. Frustration. “You imbecilic _girl_!” He gestured at you with a single finger, chastising you as though you truly were a child. “Do you truly believe this behavior will be tolerated? Such selfishness when there are countless soldiers _dying_ for the sake of our cause. And you’re sitting here _pouting_ because you cannot handle simple name-calling?”

Your bottom lip trembled, quivering as a sob grew within your chest. It was suffocating, the pressure that welled up inside of you. You wanted to cry, to scream at this man, to tell him that _yes!_ Yes, you mattered. You had every desire to say this, and yet you held your tongue with the knowledge that it would fall upon deaf ears. With the knowledge that he would have a valid counterargument. You felt deadlocked, because you knew that, in different ways, the both of you were right.

“I… I want to be useful to the First Order,” you managed to say once you had swallowed down the sob. “I… I can’t be… Not here.” Again did his mouth open without a single word being uttered. General Hux closed his mouth, and the man stared at you. You closed your eyes, unable to look at him for fear that he was thinking you were nothing more than a coward. “I don’t know who to trust… That was my _permanent record_. Even if it’s gone, it—“

“TE-8500.” You paused, reopening your eyes to stare at your superior. General Hux crossed his arms behind his back, his lips pinching together as he swept his eyes along your entire body. “I will confer with Kylo Ren and Phasma in regards to handling your case, however… In the meanwhile, you _will_ report to your station.”

How genuine was he being? Would he simply brush the matter aside once you began to work again? You did not have many options at all.

Caught between a rock and a hard place, you reluctantly agreed to do as General Hux had instructed. The following day, you reported to work with a scowl on your face and snubbed your nose at your supervisors. They did not know how to react; outrage, shock, an assortment of responses to your behavior that you ignored. You grabbed up your list of tasks to complete and headed away from them—ignoring those who called for you to report back to them. In a way, your actions could very much have been construed as immature. Yet you were tired of playing nice. You had attempted _many_ times to be transferred already.

A positive aspect about your tasks for the day was that they all allowed you to work alone. You hummed to yourself whilst completing a few of the tasks, other times singing out a tune: _I hate everybody, yes I do; I hate everybody, how about you?_ On your seventh repetition, you found yourself screaming when a voice responded, “On occasion.”

You whipped around, your eyes wide and both hands clutching your tool. “S-sir.” Kylo Ren, crouching behind you, tilted his head to the side. You had not even heard him arrive. For someone who could march so heavily, he was also able to be _too_ quiet. “I—“

“Your request to be transferred… Your post is not one on the list.” You furrowed your brow, hoping he would elaborate without you having to ask. Kylo Ren did not disappoint. “You will report to Supreme Leader Snoke. Do not fall under the false assumption that you will live should you disappoint him.”

Your eyebrows rose towards your hairline. It was difficult for you to say whether this was an improvement to your current situation or not. Still… You nodded, your eyes following the man’s every move as he stood and walked away from you.

His warning was not unwarranted, you soon learned when the next day you were sent on a shuttle to the location that housed Supreme Leader Snoke. The man stared at you with a bored expression, his cheek resting on a fist. There was something in his gaze that told you _just_ how expendable you were to him. Replaceable. It was easy to see where Kylo Ren had developed his ideas, his sense of entitlement. You half-wished Squeakers could have been there with you to keep you company, to give you comfort. At the same time, you felt a little relieved that he droid wouldn’t trip you as it had in the past. Especially since, for some odd reason, the man was rather _intrigued_ by you despite his dismissive expressions.

Kylo Ren’s Master trailed along after you without uttering a single word. You felt the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end, sweat gathering about your forehead. The toolkit on your hip slammed into your side as you awkwardly turned a corner. Supreme Leader followed along. You glanced up at a strip of metal. The behind-the-scenes mastermind was smirking cruelly. He _enjoyed_ how on edge he was making you feel.

_Damn… **This** is why Kylo Ren is so…weird._

You suppressed a shudder and hoped that Supreme Leader Snoke could not read your mind as his apprentice could.

“I had been led to believe you did not handle pressure very well,” the man drawled when you completed your next task. You blinked, peering over your shoulder at him in a way that allowed you to keep your head ducked. “You are…adequate.”

Supreme Leader Snoke turned away from you at last. You listened to his retreating footsteps, your mind racing. Had…had the Supreme Leader _praised_ you? You knit your brow as you attempted to process this. All this time, your supervisors had been mocking you. Wouldn’t Supreme Leader feel the same? Perhaps he did—when it came to you on a personal level. Although…no. He probably did not spare you a thought in that respect. On a professional level, however, he _liked_ what you did.

You perked up at the thought. You could deal with him not caring about you on a personal level; it meant he would not say derogatory things about you. _This_ was exactly what you had wanted on the _Finalizer_. In fact, it was what you had mistakenly believed was occurring.

Those working on the base hardly spoke. Many were nervous or else too hardened to fully socialize with anyone outside their circles. These circles you were slowly learning about by observing everyone. The cafeteria was quiet compared to the one on the _Finalizer_ , though not completely silent. You sat in a corner by yourself with a tray of food. The meal was a step up from what had been served on the _Finalizer_ as well. In a way, it almost felt as though Kylo Ren had seen to it that you were given a promotion. Which was bizarre—the guy did not even respect your job!

In a way, you much preferred the silence that encompassed a large part of your time when you were not working. The solitude gave your mind ample time to rest; time that would have been spent, had you been aboard the _Finalizer_ , in a paranoid daze. Days rolled by without you truly taking note of their passing. There were occasions during which you found yourself missing Squeakers, and occasionally Tom or else TE-1346. Whenever your mind began to drift in the direction of either Kylo Ren or General Hux, you would quickly busy yourself with any mundane task that was nearby.

The hurt you experienced when your thoughts started to betray you lessened the longer you remained on your new base. It was twisted, the way the two males of the triumvirate had worked to prevent you from discovering how your supervisors were treating you behind your back. General Hux and Kylo Ren both respected your abilities as a technician…they had _known_ you would wish to leave, and they had not desired this to occur. But it had—and you found yourself thriving in this new atmosphere. The promotion you had been put in for prior to leaving the _Finalizer_ hit. Having believed you would be denied the position due to requesting a transfer, you had stood there without saying anything. No reaction at all when one of your new supervisors informed you of your new pay grade and responsibilities.

All that hurt dwindled more. You felt less betrayed by General Hux and Kylo Ren. Less, but not completely gone.

You jumped a little when you heard it—the alarm blaring. All around, sirens were going off on the base. You were not the only individual to cease completing your daily tasks. Everywhere, soldiers and technicians alike were looking about. Waiting for an announcement. When it came, you felt as though someone had dealt you a punch to the stomach. Starkiller base was in the process of imploding. All that work…destroyed. There would be an influx of personnel arriving on the planet you were stationed on.

All workers were to finish with their current tasks then report to their supervisors for additional information. You lowered yourself back onto your knees, hands working quickly.

_It’s…destroyed?_

You could not fathom what had possibly occurred for this to have happened. 

Supreme Leader Snoke strode from the room beside which you were working. You once more paused in your actions, head snapping up to look at the man. He ignored you completely.

_He’s so calm…_

The sirens began to die down; likely to prevent any further distractions as the entire base prepared for those who would soon be arriving. A part of you knew…you knew what this meant. The triumvirate would be present. At the very least, the apprentice would arrive to meet with his Master. You felt your mouth dry at this. Did you even want to see him? There was a chance you would not.

Your supervisors handed you new tasks. Equipment in the medical ward needed fine-tuning in order to prepare for those who would need to be treated. Hundreds…thousands dead. You had heard the report of the Hosnian System being eliminated. All around you, people had been cheering. A victory for the First Order. Overall, you had ignored them. You still refused to socialize, to open yourself up to potentially being hurt as you had on the _Finalizer_. So much death all in one day.

You were still repairing tools when the first wave arrived. Doing what you could to ignore the commotion, you pulled your tool bags closer so that no one would trip. Still, you could hear the way some individuals were prioritized over others. It made you think of _him_ ; of the way he had always looked down on your position.

 _Some people are just more important than others, I guess,_ you thought bitterly. You were thankful that you were facing away from everyone, feeling the way the scowl distorted your face. You reached into your bag, withdrawing another tool, and continued on…

…until you heard a voice. “Don’t be so _reckless_!”

You half turned, peering over your shoulder. General Hux had his hands in fists, the man snarling as he spoke to the medics that were wheeling in a gurney, upon which was someone in black clothing who was covered in blood. Your lips parted at the sight of the blood that dripped from the gurney onto the floor. A wave of vertigo caused you to sway in place.

“Do not believe me to be _weak_ , General.”

Ah, so the entitled dipshit was alive. General Hux paused in his steps. You watched the way his jaw clenched. He wanted to bite back—yet he would not. Instead, the redhead blinked and looked your way. You knew immediately he had spotted you in his peripheral. The redhead turned away from the other male of the triumvirate and instead walked over to where you were still squatting. He crossed his arms behind his back, cocked his head to the side, and muttered your name.

“I… He’s here…”

“Yes. Supreme Leader did not wish for him to be left behind.”

You took a moment, wondering if General Hux truly would have left Kylo Ren behind on a planet that was about to be destroyed. _Yes…he would…_

“You’re here.”

“After you have completed these tasks, I require your assistance. Captain Phasma is aboard the _Finalizer_ —we came straight here. Our shuttle requires care, as I intend to report to the _Finalizer_ as soon as possible. I want only the best technicians working on it.”

Overwhelmed. You were feeling overwhelmed. A victory for the First Order followed so soon by a huge blow. The loss of Starkiller. Being forced to see both General Hux and Kylo Ren again. 

_…the best technicians…_

He meant you.

“Technician?”

You had yet to acknowledge him, his orders. Your gaze dropped to the ground. It was not as though you could disobey despite the strong urge to run to another part of the base. “Yes, sir.”

“I may not be forced to pull you back to the _Finalizer_ ,” the man said, immediately aware of the disappointment in your voice. “We are all adjusting to the outcome of Ren’s mistakes.”

_Kylo Ren…made a mistake?_

You did not entirely know what he was talking about, and you did not receive a chance to ask. General Hux left you there to finish your current assignment so that you could be freed to work on his shuttle.

 _I don’t want them to be here… I don’t want to return to the_ Finalizer.

You turned your head, watching the medics and droids bring bacta to the bed upon which the Force user was laying. You still could not see his mask…his face. Your eyes widened when you realized it. He was not wearing his helmet. And his face—cut open. The wound looked cauterized. You swallowed thickly, knowing what this likely meant. A lightsaber. Someone had wielded a lightsaber against Kylo Ren—had the Jedi returned? What could this possibly mean?

The stories you had heard in regards to the Jedi showed them to be arrogant. Though they claimed to fight for the greater good, they tended to put themselves into a position where one should view them almost as a god. You had never known how to feel about the Jedi. Your application into the First Order had had more to do with familial relations, with views that your parents had taught you.

There was no pure light on either side; it was all gray. You had simply chosen the shade of gray that you could live with.

Kylo Ren’s eyes landed on you, and you were suddenly yanked back to the present.

He did not say anything, but…he did not have to. You could see it in his eyes.

He did not know how to feel about seeing you either.


	24. Chapter 24

Repairs: Some Aren’t Your Responsibility

Forgiveness did not mean forgetting. In many respects, you were stuck between a rock and a hard place as you sorted through the various options of how to handle your current situation. The repairs to General Hux’s shuttle had not taken long, and when you had completed them you had been once more assigned to the medical ward. With the influx of patients, components needed to be kept in tip-top shape. You visited various rooms and stations to ensure that everything was running smoothly; only two other technicians were given an identical order. With hundreds to thousands of personnel being treated for both minor and major injuries, you felt as though more technicians should have been called in. Fate would have it that things broke down here and there; some of the tools had not been used in quite some time and had never been checked before they were required.

It was as you were walking by _his_ room that your mind again darted to the subject of forgiveness. Aside from watching you, the man had not done anything to garner your attention. He had never asked for forgiveness. Either he did not believe he needed it, or he did not find himself worthy. You doubted you would ever ask him which case was the truth. If it was the former, you would be disgusted. In the case of the latter… You did not know how to feel, as you partly believed it to be the truth.

One of the nurses caught you by your upper arm, and you looked his way. He nodded in the direction of the room you had bypassed. A request that you check the equipment therein; neither of the other two technicians could gather up the nerve to do so. You nodded, held back a sigh, and turned around. The door was closed, the curtain drawn over the glass so that the man was concealed. You paused a mere three inches from the door. Your eyes roamed the surface, your head buzzing with thought.

If you did forgive him…would it be for everything? For keeping you in the dark in regards to your supervisors… For being an utter ass to you… For toying with your emotions… Hurting you in ways you had never been hurt before… Would you _ever_ be able to forgive him for everything? Not forgetting it—you would never be able to forget it even if you wanted to.

You raised a single hand, curled your fingers into a fist, and gave a single knock. Not that knocking was necessary; you knew he would be able to sense your presence. A soft, yet still audible, sigh issued from the other side. His voice was level when he uttered the single word _enter_. You shifted your hand to the panel, touched the appropriate button, and waited as the door slid open. You then stepped inside, not surprised in the least when the door slid closed the moment you were out of the way.

His gaze was on you for a fleeting second. Kylo Ren almost instantly flicked his eyes towards another direction. You spared him a glance as well prior to walking over to the nearest tool that would potentially need fine-tuning. Your fingers skimmed along the surface. Your brain did not want to work; it was offering random thoughts, an assortment of memories that had nothing to do with your job. Various emotions that were clouding your concentration.

A shifting on the bed drew you back to the present. You were thankful that he did not address you. Kylo Ren had simply laid back. A brief look showed you he was staring up at the ceiling. Meditating perhaps. General Hux had mentioned a mistake on the Force user’s part. Who knew what that entailed?

You removed your hand from the device then walked over to the next instrument. This one had a slight error in its readout, and you set to work to remedy this. “Your droid can be brought to you.” You paused, blinked, and at last bit down on your bottom lip to keep from saying anything—because you did not know what would come out of your mouth. When you did not respond, his gaze once more fell upon you. It caused goosebumps to pimple along your flesh. “If you require—“

“I…don’t want special treatment, Commander,” you said as you completed the last portion of repairs. This statement was given no response. You moved on, inspecting three more tools in his room before giving yourself the chance to look at him. A bacta patch covered the better portion of half his face. Bandages and more patches were on his body. You had heard that he had previously been submerged in a tank to help with some of the more major injuries. Kylo Ren narrowed his eyes as you stared at him, as though challenging you.

He looked like a little kid, lost and frustrated that things had not gone his way.

You felt sorry for him, which caused your shoulders to droop. _This_ was the man who had caused you to experience such turmoil? Perhaps he had been projecting his own insecurities, coupled with his sense of entitlement…wherever he had gotten _that_ from.

You ran your tongue along your lips, your eyebrows rising towards your hairline. “I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.”

Pure silence. It was out there in the open now, and there was no way you could take it back. Your feelings. Kylo Ren’s lips twitched, pinching towards one another then relaxing, and he turned his head an inch to the right, looking askance a the floor. It was not quite the reaction you had expected of him. He was normally so sarcastic, so…hurtful. The idea that whatever defeat he had suffered had ingrained in him a sense of humility made your head feel as though it were floating away from your body. This could not be real; you had to be dreaming.

“You believe my actions…are things that require forgiveness?” His question lacked the hostility you had believed he would address you with. You lifted a single hand in a half shrug, shaking your head and unable to verbally respond. “I do not recall anyone taking my actions so…personally.”

You dropped your hand, which then hung lamely at your side. This was the complexity of Kylo Ren that gave you such whiplash. He exuded confidence and yet now seemed almost insecure, as though he could not believe his words and actions could cut you so deeply. Your mind ran through what you knew of him, relationships he had—what relationships? The man, to your knowledge, did not have friends. How many times had he told you that he did not want sentiment? You could feel tears threatening to form, your eyes growing moist. Your lips parted, jaw dropping simultaneous to a sigh escaping you.

“I…kept telling you that it hurt…and you didn’t care,” you managed weakly, your voice pitching towards the end. “And I… I have work to—“

“Your work ethic proved that your superiors should have respected you.” You clenched your jaw, shielding the upper portion of your face with a hand as the first few tears dropped to the floor. Your chest hurt; it was too heavy, too tight as you held in a sob. “I do not understand…how you can so content…in such a low position.”

“It isn’t low to me,” you said, your voice now mangled with your crying. “I love it. I know it’s a background sort of job, but it matters. I know it matters. I _love_ what I do, but now… You made me feel so kriffing small.”

“I…allowed myself to become arrogant.” Your hand dropped, leveling with your neck as your head snapped up. You stared at the man with wide, tear-blurred eyes. Kylo Ren was not looking in your direction, as though he was still incapable of meeting your gaze. “Supreme Leader has informed me of my errors… It cost us Starkiller—underestimating those I believe to be below me.” At last did he turn his head, those brown orbs landing on your eyes. “In a way, your reactions and words should have given me warning enough. Had I heeded them, the results of Starkiller may have differed. A mere, rogue-stormtrooper… A simple scavenger… I underestimated them.”

“It’s so easy for you to forgive yourself those mistakes,” you said, all the hurt you had held in bubbling to the surface again. “Commander, I—“

“Do not blindly forgive me, technician.”

You threw both of your hands up. “What if I can never forgive you?” The words were so thick on your tongue, in your throat. They threatened to choke you, and you were happy to be rid of them. When the man did not—perhaps _could_ not—answer you, you took a step closer to the bed on which he was resting. He was again staring at you with that expression of absolute defenselessness that you had to fight off the urge to pity him anew. As much as he denied it, the man _clearly_ did possess a sentimental side. Which was perhaps why he had, inexcusably, lashed out at you, belittled you.

“The thing is…” You swallowed then continued. “…both you and General Hux _pretended_ to be my friends. Or, if you guys truly believe that you were in any way kind to me or my friends, you were _shitty_ ones at best. Mocking me behind my back. My superiors were, and that _hurt_. I… You each pretended as though you somehow cared or respected me, but you…didn’t. I can’t just forgive that. I can’t… When I’m struggling to trust _anyone_ now, it’s…” You shook your head, once more shrugging as words failed you.

“A technician… A technician is the one to be so open with me while officers and warriors tremble at the very idea.” He furrowed his brow, his lips twitching into an amused smirk. You blinked as Kylo Ren allowed his eyes a chance to wander about you. “They would fear death…would call your actions idiotic…” You once more clenched your jaw, your hands curling into fists. “Yet you have always known where the line exists in that respect. It’s quite fascinating—that one of the smallest pieces is the one with so much knowledge.”

With a large hand, Kylo Ren drew aside the bed sheets and set his legs on the side of the bed. You stood there, feeling rather numb and more than a little overwhelmed, and watched as he stood. His pace was slower than usual, his healing wounds still affecting him. You waited there, tilting back your head the closer he got. His toes pressed against the front of your shoes. What was he going to do with you?

All at once, you were that scared person in the bathroom stall. Waiting for the Commander to leave. Stuck without toilet paper.

“Just a technician—you are so self-sure for a mere technician.” Any other time, this would have cut deeply. However, you were observing his face. _He_ was insecure. Those around him were as well. And, yes, in some respects your job as small…yet you did have self-worth. “That is what I do respect.”

It was why he could not stay away from you no matter how hard he tried. The man was, in a way, jealous of you.

“That’s too toxic. You tear me down. You—“ Your lips quivered when he raised a hand and set it to your cheek. His thumb swiped along your bottom lip, which was the focal point of his gaze. You spent your life fixing things, however you knew better than anyone that the only person who could fix someone was themselves. You had to protect yourself, which is why you had requested the transfer. With Kylo Ren… All these insecurities you were observing in him, only he could remedy them. And you did not want to be dragged down as he repaired himself.

He kept his hand on you, that thumb again rubbing along your lip, pressing down gently. “The droid can assist you. It can be brought here from the _Finalizer_.”

He did things in roundabout ways, you remembered. Warned you of how things could affect your record. Hinted that you were mocked. And now he was hinting that assistance from Squeakers would benefit you in the days to come. You had to be the one to request the droid, however.

Like with the toilet paper, it was small gestures from him that made you believe that, if not now, _one day_ you could forgive him.

You dipped your chin in a small nod. “I… I’ll request Squeakers.”

His hand still lingered, the very tip of his thumb entered your mouth. You did not close your lips around it, did not suck on it as you briefly imagined yourself doing. Kylo Ren at last turned from you, returning to his bed whilst suggesting that you continue working. All the instruments in his room had been checked, and so you exited through the door. Looks of relief from those who noticed you had returned informed you that they believed you had been murdered.

You ducked your head, keeping busy—which was in no way difficult—until you were granted time to leave for the cafeteria. On your way there, you put in the request for your droid to be brought to this base. You were nervous to receive the report in the evening, the one that would inform you why Kylo Ren had believed it to be important to warn you in his strange way. The repercussions of Starkiller Base’s destruction were going to hit hard.

A rogue stormtrooper. A scavenger. You wondered what part they had played. Which, if either, had wounded Kylo Ren?

After eating a quick meal in the cafeteria, you reported to your superiors to receive your next task. A single line on the folder you were handed. You squinted, checking to see if you had read that correctly.

“I’m not a medic.”

“He will be training with droids.”

You lifted your eyes to consider the male in front of you then dropped then back to the task folder. You were to ‘tend to Kylo Ren’. “Today?”

“The Force has healing properties. Supreme Leader will not be questioned regardless.”

That being said, your superior walked past you, his shoulder bumping into yours. You tucked your task folder into your tool kit then headed on your way to the training grounds. It was ridiculous! From what you had seen of the man… True, he was healing, however… You were understanding him all the more, which proved to only frustrate you. You thanked your lucky stars that you had not been born Force sensitive.

Arriving there, you discovered that Kylo Ren was already in the process of training. He dodged the attack of one of the droids, twisted and aimed a kick at a second. The blow connected, knocking the droid into a third.

You ran your finger along the strap of your tool kit whilst watching him. You stood a few feet away from the door, shifting uncomfortably from one leg to the other. Waiting to be useful. Feeling absolutely awkward, knowing full well that this was nothing more than a warm up for the man. His true training would be with Supreme Leader Snoke.

The next attack that connected with a droid caused Kylo Ren’s knuckles to redden. Blood visibly pooled underneath the surface of the flesh. The droid itself fell to the ground, immobile and in need of repairs. You knew better than to step towards it, however. You continued to wait there, observing him as he struck each of the droids. Only when all of his opponents had been defeated did the man pause. You crossed the floor and began to bend down to retrieve the first droid. Instantly he was on you. You tensed up, gritting your teeth to hold in a cry you feared would anger him.

All at once, however, you found yourself relaxing. He had done nothing more than wrap an arm around you and bury his face into the crook of your neck. He was not even rocking against you as he had that time in the hallway. You realized what he was doing when you heard his ragged breathing. He was attempting to match yours. Trying to calm himself.

Why?

“I can’t fix you,” you blurted out.

“No,” he conceded when he had managed to regulate his breathing. “You cannot.” You waited for him to say something more. For him to do something, anything. His eyelashes fluttered against the flesh of your neck. “And yet…you critique me.”

“Hmm?”

“If a technician can see my flaws, Supreme Leader says…” He trailed off, either due to the memory distracting or perhaps he did not wish for you to know the entirety of his conversation with his Master. You lifted one of your hands, patting the arm that was around you. Kylo Ren loosened his hold. “I cannot merely mask those flaws; I must eliminate them.” You still waited, unsure where he was taking this. “You knew… The paranoia would have interfered with your work, and so you took that out of the equation.”

“You…have to listen to yourself… No one knows you better than you…”

“I feel like I’m being torn apart.”

You squeezed your eyes closed. It _hurt_ to hear him say those words because they rang true in your own life. What you had gone through, and how you were coping in the aftermath.

Not one for sentiment, Kylo Ren broke away from you. You resumed the task of collecting the droids, all the while observing his reflection in their metal forms. It was making more sense to you, in a way, how this man was the one to have given you the toilet paper. To escort you to your quarters when otherwise you would have been in a position to be harassed by officers or ‘troopers. He had a depth to him that was hidden from almost everyone.

“You know, Commander…” He looked over his shoulder at you, and you watched him in the surface of the nearest droid. “Me… If I forgive you… That isn’t going to make you better.” His lips parted a fraction of an inch. No words nor sounds left through them. He knew; that what you said was the truth. “I can’t…fix you… And…you breaking things… That isn’t going to fix you either.”

“Yes…” He inhaled deeply, took a moment, and then slowly exhaled. “Collect the droids and repair them. I need to complete my training.”

“Yes, Commander.”


End file.
